Young Jane Young(36)
11.
One thing I could say about him is that he was the one who decided not to have the ice cream truck at the wedding. Who doesn’t want an ice cream truck?
Your Meaning Twin,
Ruby
To: “Fatima” [email protected]
From: “Ruby”
[email protected]
Date: September 29
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Your American Pen Pal, Friends Around the World Pen Pal Program
Dear Fatima,
Hooray, my mom says it would DEFINITELY be possible for us to Skype with your class at the Indonesian Women’s Business and Leadership Academy! She says her schedule is “tight” leading up to the election, but as long as we keep it to an hour, it should be fine. It will be UH-MAY-ZING for us to finally see each other! Could you send me a picture so I know which one you are? “UH-MAY-ZING” is “my favorite way to write amazing.”
It is interesting that “single mothers” have difficulties getting elected in Indonesia! I told Mrs. Morgan that and she said that was “slut-shaming.” I asked Mrs. Morgan what “slut-shaming” was, and she said it is “when a woman is too free and it p*sses people off.” The “single mother” thing doesn’t seem to be affecting my mom’s candidacy too much, but maybe that is because (1) everyone knows my mom, and (2) my father is dead. It isn’t a tragic thing for me. I don’t remember him, and my mom doesn’t like to talk about the past because I think it makes her sad. I don’t know much about him. I guess I’m curious, but I also don’t want to make her sad.
In a way, I am happy I don’t have a father because I like having my mom to myself. And also, Mrs. Morgan says that I am “more independent” and have a “stronger character” because I have not been “influenced by the patriarchy.” Mrs. Morgan talks about the “patriarchy” a lot. She is very against the “patriarchy.”
I am helping my mom “prep” for the debate against Wesley West. I read questions for my mom off of my phone. The questions are like:
1.
If the town has a surplus, how do you spend it?
2.
What is the biggest problem our town is facing, and how would you address it?
3.
How would you secure our borders and keep terrorists out of Allison Springs?
4.
Towns like Allison Springs are soft targets for terrorism. How do we keep violence and terrorism out of public buildings, like schools, the city pool, the library, and the post office?
5.
The statue of Captain Allison was hit by a car and destroyed last winter. Some have proposed that we don’t rebuild the statue but instead establish a farmer’s market. How do we keep terrorists out of the farmer’s market?
Et
cetera.
So many of the questions had to do with terrorism that I said to my mom, “Should I be worried? Is Allison Springs a MAJOR terrorist target and not just some tiny town in Maine? People seem to be VERY WORRIED about terrorism here.”
My mom said, “The truth is, Ruby, if you know your neighbors and they know you, you don’t have to worry about terrorism nearly as much as people think. Not in a place like Allison Springs. But the other truth is, that’s not what people want to hear during an election.”
Still… my mom may have been trying to get me not to worry. I am “neurotic.” “Neurotic” means “I think about things until I am sick.”
I googled how to avoid terrorism, and it said you should (1) always be aware of your surroundings, and (2) if you see something, say something, and (3) remember that terrorism can occur in places where you LEAST expect it, places like Allison Springs.
So now when I go out, I’m trying not to blink very much, and I’m making sure to scan in all directions for signs of TERROR. Do they have a lot of terrorism in Indonesia?
Your Meaning Twin,
Ruby
To: “Fatima” [email protected]
From: “Ruby”
[email protected]
Date: October 1
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Your American Pen Pal, Friends Around the World Pen Pal Program
Dear Fatima,
EUREKA! I went to the Allison Springs Public Library and I asked Mr. Allison to help me figure out what percentage of mayors were event planners. I tried googling so many combinations of words (“mayors, by occupation,” “mayors, by former occupation,” “mayors – what did they do before they became mayors?” “number of mayors who worked in event planning,” et cetera), but I couldn’t get an answer for you. Mr. Allison said we would have to do our own research. He said that we could take a “sample of Maine.” I asked him, “What is a sample?” He said, “Sometimes when you can’t see everything, you look at a small piece of something instead, and you can draw conclusions about the larger piece from the smaller piece. The smaller piece is the sample.” I said, “What if you are looking at the wrong piece?” He said, “That is true, Ruby. That is a danger. At the very least, though, we can learn about mayors in Maine. Are you ready for some painstaking research?” An interesting fact about “painstaking” is that it is pronounced “painstaking” when it should be pronounced “painstaking” because what you are doing is “taking pains.”