Young Jane Young(34)

P.P.S. Also, Ms. Reacher says I should explain that she was always a woman inside and that she only “presented” as a man before. “Presented” means “looked like” or “appeared to be.” (I think that’s what it means.)





To: “Fatima” [email protected]

From: “Ruby”

[email protected]

Date: September 15

Re: Re: Re: Your American Pen Pal, Friends Around the World Pen Pal Program





Dear Fatima,

Your e-mail was Very, Very, Very, Very, Extremely Interesting and Not Even One Word Blasé and your English is Very Good even though you said it wasn’t. I’m super EXCITED that you joined FAW-PUH-PUH to work on your vocabulary because vocabulary is my “raison d’être.” “Raison d’être” means “reason that you are alive.” My other raison d’être is oxygen, ha ha. What is your raison d’être? I didn’t know that Muslims don’t eat lobster and you can only eat seafood with scales! Also, it is interesting that you are Muslim, as I don’t know any Muslims personally, and it is interesting that you are Muslim because none of the other kids in my class have a Muslim pen pal. By the way, I’m sorry if it was awkward that I went on and on about lobster when you can’t even eat it. FACE PALM!

I googled so many things while I was reading your letter. Do you wear a “hijab”? And if you do wear a “hijab,” what do you do when your head gets hot and you are away from your house? The average temperature in Indonesia is 82.4°F or 28.0°C, but you probably know that already.

Ms. Reacher says that our e-mails should “strike a balance between telling about you and asking about them.” She says that “pen pals” are “students and teachers at the same time.”

An interesting thing about me is that my mom is an event planner. She doesn’t like it when people call her a “wedding planner” though mainly what she plans is weddings. When I’m not in school, I work as her assistant. She says I am “trustworthy” and “strong for my age.” I have many responsibilities:





1.




Make sure everyone is where they are supposed to be when it’s time for the bride and groom to say their vows. Brides and grooms get lost more often than you would think. I also keep track of the location of the “rings” and the “wedding party.”





2.


Sign my mom’s “signature” for deliveries.





3.


Answer the phones in the office. I make my voice looooow, and no one ever knows I’m thirteen.





4.


Pick up small items, like boutonnieres, from the florist, which is three doors down from my mom’s office. “Boutonnieres” are “the flowers that men wear so they don’t feel left out.”





5.


Online and other kinds of “research” for my mom. One time my mom needed to find out if we could get an ice cream truck for a December wedding, even though that did not end up happening. By the way, you can get an ice-cream truck, in December, in Maine, if you ever need one. (I don’t know why you would, seeing as you live in Indonesia!)





6.


Putting “place cards” on tables. It is very important to be accurate when I am in charge of this. People get very angry if they are seated in the “wrong” place. Sometimes, they get angry when they are seated in the “right” place, too.





7.


Et cetera. (“Et cetera” means “and other things.”)





My mom pays me, and so far, I have saved $3,998.93. I also have been given a “business” American Express card. The American Express card says RUBY MIRANDA YOUNG, and underneath that it says, EVENTS BY JANE, which is the name of my mom’s company. I am only supposed to use the card “for business.” I like to stroke the top of the card with my thumb and pretend that I know how to read Braille. Fun factoid about ME: I am the only thirteen-year-old I know with a business American Express card.

Another interesting thing is that my mom is “running” for mayor of Allison Springs.



Your Meaning Twin,

Ruby



P.S. Ms. Reacher says she is not going to read any more of our correspondence. She will only check to make sure we are doing it. I hope that will ease your mind.





To: “Fatima” [email protected]

From: “Ruby”

[email protected]

Date: September 22

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Your American Pen Pal, Friends Around the World Pen Pal Program





Dear Fatima,

Hello!

It is interesting that you and your sister are interested in politics! It is tragic that there are “quotas” on how many women can run for parliament in Indonesia. (I did not know anything about politics in Indonesia so I googled it.) How old are you, by the way? Are you in high school? I do not have many friends who are my exact age. People my age tend to be pretty blasé.