You're to Blame(74)

She’s the reason I have this stupid microphone to my mouth, ready to make a complete fool of myself. With pushes and pulls, she tests my patience and raises my self-awareness, to the point I don’t recognize myself. She may not know it, but she’s the reason I’m entertaining the idea of letting my mother be part of my life again.

Charlotte puts everyone first. Hell, she played the part of Jacob’s doting girlfriend while dealing with the hurt he’d caused with grace and dignity. She never wants to be the reason anyone’s world is disrupted. This girl, staring at me, makes me want to be a better person.

The upbeat cheesy music begins to play and I fumble through the first verse of “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles).” A sheen of sweat forms on my forehead. Charlotte’s eyes widen, and something close to a smile forms on her lips. If I wasn’t fully focused on her, I’d miss it, but right there, the corner of her perfect mouth, the part I like to kiss the most, turns up just enough to know I haven’t completely lost her.

When I take a step forward, the crowd shifts, clearing the path straight to Charlotte. Her legs are bare, perfectly toned, and dammit, do I want to take a minute to absorb everything about her. There’s time for that later.

Charlotte doesn’t blink. A herd of elephants could stampede through this bar, and she’d remain unmoved, but I push through the performance. When the music fades, the silence is deafening. No one cheers. The room is completely still, waiting to see what my next move will be.

Charlotte sways slightly on her heels and turns away.

“Stop her,” I say into the microphone.

Rachel steps in front of her best friend and holds her at arm’s length before leaning forward and whispering something in her ear. Charlotte reels around and we come face to face again.

“You ambushed me.” She smacks my chest as I walk to her.

“You ambushed me.”

“How do you figure?” She holds her arms out and looks around the bar.

“I have my own list, Charlotte.” Her eyes widen at the mention of her graffiti artwork. I needed a way to clear my mind, so I ran, and as fate would have it, Charlotte popped out from the trail I showed her, what feels like a lifetime ago. I saw her words scribbled, much like she does in her notebooks, but instead of random thoughts and ideas, her words were specific and thought out. “Don’t say anything, but listen. You’re to blame for a lot, too, but just like you, I’m willing to shoulder it.”

“Did you put them all up to this?” Charlotte scans the packed bar.

“All these people?” I laugh at my own joke. “No, these people are strangers.”

“They’re looking at us.” Her cheeks pinken. Desperate to brush the back of my hand over them, I retreat, so not to scare her like a baby bird.

“They’re looking at you.” I smile. “Dammit, why do you have to be so beautiful?”

“Beautiful is a word only boys use to appease a woman.” The memory of us at the furniture store is one I’ll never forget. If I look back, that’s where it all changed. Everything inside me knows she’s meant to be mine.

“You’re right. Beautiful doesn’t even begin to describe you.”

“Don’t try to flatter me now. I’m really mad at you.” She crosses her arms over her chest, but I witness her resolve cracking.

“Yeah, well, I’m mad at you, too, but you showed up here anyway. Now, are you going to listen to me, or what?” I smirk because I can see how badly she wants to say something. “I blame you, Charlotte Novak, for making me believe I’m worthy of someone like you. I blame you for stepping through that door and never allowing me to look back. You are the girl who makes me pause and think, ‘Fuck, this girl is it’. You’re to blame for all of that and so much more.”

“So, what are we going to do about it?” Her eyes sparkle with an excitement I feel in every ounce of my body. I want to wrap her in my arms, carry her out of here, and disappear for a while.

“I can’t do this without you.” I place my hand on her heart, and it races under my touch.

“Do what?” Her lips loosen from the tight line she’s trying so damn hard to hold in place.

“Love you.” I just said I love her, out loud, and I’ve never felt more naked in my life. “I’ve never felt like I was enough. You can fight this all you want, but it’s there like I promised. When you close your eyes, you’ll always feel me because, whether you like it or not, Charlotte, you are just as much a part of me as I am you.”

“Attraction isn’t enough, Duke.”

She’s right. When I first laid eyes on her, it was all physical. I would’ve done anything to rip off her clothes and lay her bare on my sheets. Over time, it’s all shifted, slowly and on purpose. She can kick and stomp, but no amount of fight will work.

“And thank fuck for that, or else we’d all be screwed. These looks aren’t going to last forever.” I draw an imaginary circle around my face.

“Forever?” Her voice breaks under the weight of one single word.

“Isn’t that what I said?” She shivers when I brush her hair behind her ear and guide the back of my hand down her soft cheek.

“You think you can give me forever?” Like she can’t get enough, her head tilts to lean into my touch.