You're to Blame(66)

“Was it?” The defeat is seared into my voice, and suddenly, sadness takes over, leading me from the safety of Rachel’s car and into the elevator.

I push the same button I’ve hit tons of times, but this time it feels different.

When they open, Wes stands outside the doors, eyeing the screen on his phone. As he notices me, his shoulder square, and he stands tall. If it was anyone else, I’d feel intimidated, but this is the boy who use to give me Band-Aids when I’d fall. He’s also the closest I’ll ever get to having a brother.

“Why did you even bother showing up here? Did you sneak out from the stairwell earlier? Too afraid to face him?” His faint smile disappears, replaced with a hateful smirk. “Did you and Duke ride together and figure it would sting less if you pretended to show up separately?”

“Duke’s still here?” I question, leaning around Wes to see down the hallway, but it’s empty.

“Like you don’t already know, Charlotte. The least you two could do is let him have a full day before parading whatever the hell it is you two are doing.” Animosity rolls off Wes like waves on Lake Michigan’s breaking wall, large and unpredictable.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about Wes.” I pass him, shaking my head. There is no time to sit here with him and explain myself. I glance back one last time because he’s family, and even with how wrong he is, disappointing him wrecks me.

“It’s pretty obvious.” Wes steps onto the now empty car and pushes the button, disappearing behind the metal doors.

This is it. Walk down this hallway, step into the hospital room, and tell the truth, even if it hurts. Quietly, and with deliberate small steps, I creep down the hallway. One of Jacob’s regular nurses spots me. When she waves, I pause, feeling out of place. I lift my heavy arm and wiggle my fingers into something resembling a friendly gesture.

I push myself forward to enter the room, only to be halted by the voices rising behind the bleak grey door.

“I hooked up with Charlotte,” Duke says. “And before you kill me, please hear me out.”

The long, silent pause worries me. No one is speaking.

“The actual fuck are you talking about?” A small laugh escapes Jacob. I know he isn’t quite sure what he’s hearing. His left eyebrow is probably perked up, like it is every time he doesn’t quite understand what is happening.

“Charlotte, your Charlotte.” Even out here, I hear the worry in Duke’s voice, but more than that, I sense the apology. The way he refers to me as Jacob’s brings on a heavy ache.

I step forward when Jacob doesn’t say anything. More silence meets me when I press my ear to the door.

“You can have any girl on campus, so why her?” Jacob’s words are spoken in a whisper. The sadness and confusion are enough to tilt my world on its side.

Maybe I haven’t taken the time to fully comprehend the full spectrum of our situation. Humans are naturally selfish. We look out for ourselves first, with a sprinkle of everyone else we care about. It’s how it is, and how it will always be. I’ll never apologize for following my heart, though.

“Do I really have to explain it to you?” The chair I’ve occupied many mornings grinds on the tiled floor. Duke’s making himself comfortable with no intentions of leaving until this is resolved.

“We can both make a list of reasons why she’s easy to love, and they’d probably damn near be the same,” Jacob replies. “What I don’t understand is why you feel the need to explain it to me?”

“What?”

“I appreciate you telling me before I found out from someone else, but I don’t think this is necessary.”

Oh fuck, move your feet, Charlotte. This is where you come in.

A long sheet of blonde hair rushes past me, and the door swings fully open, revealing the hospital room. Like I can’t quite understand what’s happening, I stand frozen until the girl whips her hair around. My feet move me into the room, and the four of us have a stand-off. Who’s going to speak first?

“Now isn’t the time,” Jacob says, holding his hand up towards Stacey.

Stacey rests her hand on her stomach, silently begging Jacob to do something. What, I’m not sure. I thought it’s Duke she’s been following, but with her tender, caring eyes on Jacob, I’d say I’ve had it wrong all along.

“Charlotte!” Duke stands to his feet, his eyes darting around the room, frantic to ease some of the tension trickling between the four of us.

“Jesus Christ!” Jacob whisper yells to himself when he finally notices me standing just beyond the privacy curtain.

“Do you want to tell her, or should I?” Stacey says, glancing back at me.

“Tell me what?” Stacey’s attitude should piss me off, but I’m too confused to care.

“Again, now isn’t the time. I’m still trying to process the fact that these two have been sleeping together.” Jacob points to Duke and me.

“I said I was sorry,” Duke adds.

“And you think that’s enough?” Jacob chortles, and the tension rises to unprecedented levels.

“What about me?” Stacey steps forward.

“Okay, don’t take this the wrong way, but what the hell do you have to do with this?” I sneer in her direction.