Where'd You Go, Bernadette
Maria Semple
For Poppy Meyer
The first annoying thing is when I ask Dad what he thinks happened to Mom, he always says, “What’s most important is for you to understand it’s not your fault.” You’ll notice that wasn’t even the question. When I press him, he says the second annoying thing, “The truth is complicated. There’s no way one person can ever know everything about another person.”
Mom disappears into thin air two days before Christmas without telling me? Of course it’s complicated. Just because it’s complicated, just because you think you can’t ever know everything about another person, it doesn’t mean you can’t try.
It doesn’t mean I can’t try.
PART ONE
Mom Versus the Gnats
MONDAY, NOVEMBER 15
Galer Street School is a place where compassion, academics, and global connectitude join together to create civic-minded citizens of a sustainable and diverse planet.
Student: Bee Branch
Grade: Eight
Teacher: Levy
KEY
S Surpasses Excellence
A Achieves Excellence
W Working towards Excellence
Geometry S
Biology S
World Religion S
Music S
Creative Writing S
Ceramics S
Language Arts S
Expressive Movement S
COMMENTS: Bee is a pure delight. Her love of learning is infectious, as are her kindness and humor. Bee is unafraid to ask questions. Her goal is always deep understanding of a given topic, not merely getting a good grade. The other students look to Bee for help in their studies, and she is always quick to respond with a smile. Bee exhibits extraordinary concentration when working alone; when working in a group, she is a quiet and confident leader. Of special note is what an accomplished flutist Bee continues to be. The year is only a third over, but already I am mourning the day Bee graduates from Galer Street and heads out into the world. I understand she is applying to boarding schools back east. I envy the teachers who get to meet Bee for the first time, and to discover for themselves what a lovely young woman she is.
*
That night at dinner, I sat through Mom and Dad’s “We’re-so-proud-of-you”s and “She’s-a-smart-one”s until there was a lull.
“You know what it means,” I said. “The big thing it means.”
Mom and Dad frowned question marks at each other.
“You don’t remember?” I said. “You told me when I started Galer Street that if I got perfect grades the whole way through, I could have anything I wanted for a graduation present.”
“I do remember,” Mom said. “It was to ward off further talk of a pony.”
“That’s what I wanted when I was little,” I said. “But now I want something different. Aren’t you curious what it is?”
“I’m not sure,” Dad said. “Are we?”
“A family trip to Antarctica!” I pulled out the brochure I’d been sitting on. It was from an adventure travel company that does cruises to exotic places. I opened it to the Antarctica page and passed it across the table. “If we go, it has to be over Christmas.”
“This Christmas?” Mom said. “Like in a month?” She got up and started stuffing empty take-out containers into the bags they’d been delivered in.
Dad was already deep into the brochure. “It’s their summer,” he said. “It’s the only time you can go.”
“Because ponies are cute.” Mom tied the handles in a knot.
“What do you say?” Dad looked up at Mom.
“Isn’t this a bad time for you because of work?” she asked him.
“We’re studying Antarctica,” I said. “I’ve read all the explorers’ journals, and I’m doing my presentation on Shackleton.” I started wiggling in my chair. “I can’t believe it. Neither of you are saying no.”
“I was waiting for you,” Dad said to Mom. “You hate to travel.”
“I was waiting for you,” Mom said back. “You have to work.”
“Oh my God. That’s a yes!” I jumped out of my chair. “That’s a yes!” My joy was so infectious that Ice Cream woke up and started barking and doing victory laps around the kitchen table.
“Is that a yes?” Dad asked Mom over the crackling of plastic take-out containers being crammed into the trash.
“That’s a yes,” she said.
*
TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 16
From: Bernadette Fox To: Manjula Kapoor Manjula,
Something unexpected has come up and I’d love it if you could work extra hours. From my end, this trial period has been a lifesaver. I hope it’s working for you, too. If so, please let me know ASAP because I need you to work your Hindu magic on a huge project.
OK: I’ll stop being coy.
You know I have a daughter, Bee. (She’s the one you order the medicine for and wage valiant battle with the insurance company over.) Apparently, my husband and I told her she could have anything she wanted if she graduated middle school with straight A’s. The straight A’s have arrived—or should I say straight S’s, because Galer Street is one of those liberal, grades-erode-self-esteem-type schools (let’s hope you don’t have them in India)—and so what does Bee want? To take a family trip to Antarctica!