When Our Worlds Collide (Our Worlds #1)(92)
Kennedy’s arms wrap around my neck just as I go to stand. She jumps up throwing her legs around me holding onto me with a death grip. I can feel her nails digging into my back. She’s holding on for dear life, trying to keep the version of me that she sees close to her.
“Graham, your choices don’t have full control over others actions. You did something horrible, but that doesn’t mean that Shelly didn’t already have issues before you. Sometimes it’s the smallest things that tip people over the edge without any rhyme or reason,” Kennedy argues laying her head down on my shoulder.
I force her to look up at me and when she does I see the anguish in her eyes. “It doesn’t matter now. I just wanted you to know it all. You deserve to know the type of guy you’re with.”
“I know who I’m with now. I’ve never been with the guy you just talked about. That’s not you anymore.” She rubs her thumbs along my jawline in a comforting motion. “Everyone has a past, some are harder than others, but everyone has one. You need to learn to let things go. You’re making the present harder on yourself by holding onto all of that.”
Everything Kennedy is saying is true. I know that. My choices have managed to burrow deep down into my heart snuggled close to the darkest corner afraid to come out. There’s a fear of letting my mistakes go. When I do I know the type of guy I will be. I’d be the guy that Kennedy dreams me up to be and that’s scary. It’s not who I’ve been all these years.
“I love you, Graham Black, and nothing you tell me is going to change that,” Kennedy offers with honesty in her eyes as she jumps down from my arms. She leans up to kiss me. I pull back with our lips a near whisper away from the much needed connection.
“I never thought I’d love anyone. I never thought I deserved the love of someone like you, but God Kennedy---I love you so damn much it hurts sometimes,” I say honestly wiping the single tear that managed to escape form Kennedy’s eye.
When we pulled into this parking lot, my biggest fear was that Kennedy would see me how I see myself. I want to be that person that puts others before himself, who finds it easy to make the right choices. I want to be able to see my own worth without having to look into Kennedy’s eyes for the reassurance. She believes in me more than I deserve and she deserves to have anything she’s ever wanted.
When I look into her eyes I feel as if everything’s going to be okay. There’s a lightness to her that’s hard to find it others anymore. She’s the type of person you root for and protect. Kennedy’s the good in this world.
Chapter FortyThree
-Kennedy-
The weeks that followed Graham’s confession flew by. We spent our time talking about the person Graham used to be and the person that he wants to be. His honesty is noble and a true strength of his character. His father’s abuse hasn’t managed to put out his flame and neither has his mistakes. He’s beginning to realize that he’s only human, a young human at that, and mistakes are going to happen but he can’t allow them to define him.
Graham has this fire in his eyes that’s bordering on contagious. You can’t stop your heart from wanting to beat in one with his. He’s the type of person that you fight for. He’s the brightness in this world.
Thankfully, the guys don’t bat an eyelash at us when we walk down the hallway together hand in hand anymore. They all stopped bothering us when we hide away on the dock at the lake, when everyone is busying themselves with getting drunk and hooking up. It became our spot to connect. Secretly I think Graham’s relieved he doesn’t have to play the part of Mr. Popular. I’m relieved that with Graham’s absence, Craig’s house is no longer the place to spend Saturday nights. You can still see his house from the other side of the small lake, but luckily he’s been smart enough to keep his distance.
The rumors have finally stopped after a few rounds of rather ridiculous accusations about the nature of mine and Graham’s relationship. Some girls have even gone as far as to say I am paying Graham to be my boyfriend to gain access to the “in crowd”. That one made Graham laugh. I on the other hand didn’t find the humor in it.
When it’s just him and I out to dinner or hanging out at my house I sometimes forget that he is who he is. Graham doesn’t understand what it has been like for me. The girls still turn their noses up to me glaring whenever I walk by. They make sure that he isn’t around to see it or at least have his back turned. After it was known that we aren’t just a fling, all of the girl’s advances got stronger. It seems that they all are having a hard time accepting us as a couple, so they think it’s their responsibility to tempt Graham.
I make a decision through everything. I think I made the decision in the parking lot that night as I held onto Graham in fear that he would disappear. It should have never been up for debate. It only was because I’m a coward. At least I was a coward. Not anymore. Doubting Graham is no longer an option. I may get hurt, or I may live happily ever after. I know it’s a long shot since we are still in high school. I know how unlikely our love is to last. I do know that whatever happens between us will be worth it no matter the outcome. Graham is and will always be the first person I ever loved and loving him patiently is the only way I know how to make this work.
We spend most of our time together when Graham isn’t busy with practice. He even introduced me to his mom. I don’t think he had any intentions of doing so, but when we ran into her at the grocery store one night I suppose he didn’t have any other option. She’s just as beautiful as I expected with dark brown hair cut into a stylish bob. I now know where Graham gets his breathtaking eyes. She was polite and polished which I know is only an act. I know what happens when no one’s looking. It’s hard to stand in front of her acting like everything I know about their family is to be perfection.