When Our Worlds Collide (Our Worlds #1)(87)

“You’ve got it bad,” Dan snickers shaking his head in almost disbelief.

“You’ve got no idea, man,” I say under my breath looking back towards Dan who’s smiling at me like I just let him in on the secrets of the world.





Chapter FortyOne



-Kennedy-



The three of them watch me intently refusing to take their eyes away as if something will change if they let their eyes wander elsewhere. I don’t know what they’re waiting for. Maybe a few tears. Maybe a few curse words. Perhaps an explanation, but Graham covered that for me. The fight in me is unexpected. Graham’s and mine relationship is mine to protect. Having someone I don’t know from Adam tell me what she believes our relationship to be is the one thing to tip me over the edge.

When Veronica approached our table to take our drink orders I knew instantly that Graham “knew” her and I use that word loosely. It was evident that he had slept with her before she even got to Graham’s drink order. She leaned into him closer than most waitresses would dare batting her eyelashes in a seductive attempt to get his attention. Before me, I’m sure he would have jumped at the opportunity. I’m not blind. She’s beautiful just as I’m sure all the others are. She has dark auburn hair, a lean body, and piercing brown eyes. There isn’t much not to like about her.

It’s a losing battle. I can’t stop my mind from wondering how many more times this will happen. How many others are there exactly? I’m sure the number would make my skin crawl. There will never come the day when I ask him for that number. It’s meant to be kept a secret, buried deep down for me not to ever find out.

The conversation quickly changes from my little spark of confidence to Graham’s baseball career. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t jealous of him. This is a revolving disagreement with Graham and me. My options are on a constant replay in my head. Graham’s going off to play baseball and I’m stuck after graduation. Just as Graham’s meant to play ball I know in my heart that I’m meant to dance. Now that might not be an option. With a broken leg it’s kind of hard to dance. As Graham’s dreams are coming true mine are getting further away from me.

I don’t resent him in the slightest. Don’t twist my words around. He’s earned the privilege to do what he loves. He works his ass off every day to play the game, but there’s a devil sitting on my shoulder reminding me that the only reason why he’s going to get his chance is because I made a decision that night. It’s a decision that freed him of being responsible for his actions. I know I wouldn’t change anything that has happened. That doesn’t stop me from wondering if he ever thinks about how that night affects me.

Somewhere along the way in spite of everything that’s happened I started falling for Graham. When he’s near I can feel it all the way down to my bones. It’s in the way he looks at me. He’s the one and he came along, so why is it that when I think about never dancing again I find myself placing the blame on the only boy I’ve ever loved?

The honest to God truth is I can live without dancing if Graham’s in my life.

There, I said it and now it’s out there. Well technically it’s not out there because I’ve only said it to myself. Somehow I don’t think that will matter. As much as I’d love to believe that this boy that’s sitting next to me will see a future with me after we graduate, that might not be my reality. Hell, I’d be happy if he can guarantee me we’ll still be together by prom.

I keep telling myself that Graham’s the guy he keeps showing me he is---the one that despite his reputation makes grand announcements in the cafeteria and kisses me on the forehead before running off to practice. He holds my hand when he knows I’m uneasy. I pray that he will still be the guy that I’ve fallen for when we hit the impasse of what could be the failure of our relationship.

I look across the table towards my best friend. We are in tune with each other. Like always she can tell that I’m inside my own head. Violet’s always been good at that. That’s why our friendship has worked so well. She’s the crazy, spunky, fly by the seat of her pants type and I’m the exact opposite. I’m high strung and predictable.

“Dan, move. I need to go to the bathroom,” Violet pushes on his arm to get by him while giving me a half-hearted smile. I know exactly what she’s up to. I untie my fingers from Graham’s picking up my purse.

“I’ll go with you,” my voice even to me sounds off. This doesn’t go unnoticed by Graham. He always has an advantage of knowing when something is bothering me. Usually I find his perceptiveness an endearing perk to our relationship. Right now it’s a pain.

“You okay?” Graham asks as he stands reaching for me with his hand to help me out of the booth.

“Of course,” I reply with a shaky voice kissing him on the cheek.

Violet grabs my hand dragging me to the back hallway. There’s a missing light bulb making the hallway unnaturally dark. I’m a few steps behind Violet when she slams the bathroom door open. The space is empty thankfully. I step in behind her and lean up against the door. My eyes are shut, but I can tell she is keeping a watchful eye fixed on me.

“Spit it out,” Violet’s voice rings with understanding. I open my eyes to see her sitting on the countertop with a soft sympathetic smile.