When Our Worlds Collide (Our Worlds #1)(91)
“I like you and I know that you probably don’t believe me, but I do,” I lied tucking a strand of hair behind Shelly’s ear. She contemplated what I had said for a few seconds. I could see the tenderness running through her eyes.
Hook, line, and sinker.
“I believe you, Graham,” she sighed with joy under my touch.
I took her reaction as the go ahead to kiss her. I knew that she would be responsive to me, so I pushed the envelope farther than I had with Shelly. As I kissed along her neck making my way to her lips I laid her down in the bed of my truck. Making my way over the top of her, I nestled my way in between her legs. Thank fuck it was warm outside. She was wearing a cotton knee length skirt making easier access for me.
“Please spare me the gory details, Graham. I can already assume what happened. You took her virginity, didn’t you? You took it without even thinking about what it would mean to her,” Kennedy snaps throwing her hands in the air then frantically running them through her long brown hair. She begins pacing around my car muttering things beneath her breath.
“I know I’m a horrible person, Kennedy. The look in your eyes says enough,” I whisper trying to grab her hand as she stalks by me. She quickly jerks it away throwing a death glare capable of taking me to my knees at me. I can see the tears in her eyes beginning to build up.
“That’s not even the worst part.” I continue on to explain what happened after I took her virginity.
Right after I pulled out of Shelly, she had enough time to pull up her skirt before I jumped in the driver’s side of my truck leaving her a quarter of a mile away from her only means of escape. I pulled into a parking space jumping out to find Craig leaning against Amanda’s Volvo.
“Is it done?” Craig questions me with a conniving smile.
“Yeah it’s done,” I offered feeling a mixture of things. Shame was on the top of the list. Forcing anything on my face that resembled a smile was impossible. I slapped hands with Craig as he offered his up to me in celebration.
“Nice.” Craig’s eyes fell behind me.
It was all I needed to know that Shelly was making her way towards me. I honestly believed she would get in her car without approaching me. I turned on my heels to see her standing just a few steps away. There were tears running down her cheeks with her eyes bloodshot from crying.
“A big part of me wanted to run up to her and apologize and make it right even though I knew there was nothing to do. I wasn’t a good person back then. Maybe I’m still not. You make me believe that the Graham back then isn’t in here anymore,” I plead to Kennedy pointing at my heart.
“What did you guys do to that poor girl, Graham?” Kennedy asks almost fearful of what my response will be. She knows the stories not over. She can sense it’s only going to get worse.
“We ruined her.” I answer honestly before I continue.
“Graham?” Shelly nearly begs out my name from her swollen lips.
“What do you need, Shelly?” I barked out knowing that what I was about to do was irreversible. Shelly’s eyes grew big under my scrutiny. “We’re done here.” I gestured between the two of us.
The group around us laughed at the clear dismissal of Shelly.
“Oh my god! I’m such an idiot. I thought you actually liked me. You said all those sweet things to me and all the time I was just a big joke for you and your buddies. Something to laugh at when I turned my back,” Shelly yells gaining the attention of the remainder of my friends.
Craig walks over to stand directly beside me. He can be intimidating when he turns his cold eyes on you. Shelly’s eyes said it all. There was a fear that crossed over her face then it turned into acceptance. Acceptance that she knew she didn’t belong with people like Craig and me or any of us. She’s too smart. In a moment of weakness that was man made by my hands and my hands alone she forgot how smart she was, she forgot that she was better than us.
“Well sweetheart, you’re right about one thing. You’re an idiot for thinking Graham Black was ever into you for more than just a quick fuck,” Craig criticized getting in Shelly’s face mocking her with malice. “That’s what you did, right? You spread those chubby little legs of yours for him just now? I didn’t know such a slut was under all those baggy clothes.”
Shelly ran off with tears and embarrassment in her eyes. I turned to face everyone I knew putting on a face that said that I didn’t give a damn about what I just did, that my actions didn’t matter because I was Graham Black. I never told anyone but I tried calling and texting Shelly after that night and never heard from her again. It was too late to take it back, too late for apologizing.
“I was too fucking late, Kennedy. There wasn’t anything I could do. It was just too damn late,” I screamed out slamming my fists down on the hood of my car. I could feel the heat from the pain radiating through my knuckles.
“It’s never too late to fix your wrongs. There is always time. What you did to that girl was coldhearted and nothing like the guy that I know, Graham,” Kennedy responds shaking her head.
“That’s the thing, I can’t fix it Kennedy. She killed herself a week later, inside that school. You never heard anything about it because my father convinced my grandfather to cover it up. She left a note, Kennedy. Explaining why and I was at the top of that list. You see what I mean? My bad choices ruined that girl and my choices will continue to ruin you,” I fight trying to step away from a determined Kennedy. My hands are over my face as I hunch over in shame. For the first time in my life, I can admit that I’m ashamed of who I am.