When I Was Yours(74)

My body shatters around his, and I know he’s done. The feel of me tightening around him always sets him off.

He lets out a long moan, my name mixed in with it, his body shuddering. He comes inside me, coating my insides with his release.

We stay here, him inside me, as we kiss soft, gentle kisses, making out like we used to when we were kids. It’s been a long time since we’ve done this.

I try not to think what it could mean for us.

But I am hoping against hope that something has changed here. I know I’m a fool to think this, but I can’t help myself.

I wish for more, not what we had because I know I can never get that back, but something new with him.

I’d just be happy to have anything of Adam, anything he’s willing to give me.

I run my fingers down his side, causing him to laugh against my mouth. I love the sound. He always was ticklish there.

“I should clean up. I just don’t want to move.”

“So, don’t.” I stroke my fingers down his back.

He lifts his head and stares into my eyes.

I see something change in them, something that leaves me feeling cold. It’s almost like he’s switching off on me.

Desperate to keep him with me, I press my lips to his, kissing him. He kisses me back, but it doesn’t feel the same.

I’ve lost him.

Shutting my eyes, I draw back from him.

He pulls out of me and sits on the edge of the bed. His back is rigid.

“Talk to me,” I say softly.

He glances back at me, his expression closed off. “There’s nothing to talk about.”

“What about what I saw…the things in your old room?”

His face darkens, his brows pulling together. “I told you downstairs that I didn’t want to talk about it. That hasn’t changed.” He gets up from the bed and walks over to the chest of drawers. He pulls open a drawer and gets out a pair of running shorts.

“Why won’t you talk about it?” I ask, sitting up, pulling the sheet up and around me.

“Because what’s the f*cking point?” He pulls the shorts on with tense, jerky movements.

“The point is, we can’t keep avoiding stuff all the time, like those things in there.” I point to the wall. “And about what’s going on here, between us.”

He slams the drawer shut. Then, he grips the top of the dresser with his hands, his head bowed forward. “Nothing is going on between us.” The words come out gritted.

And they hurt like a bitch. But I don’t show it.

“That’s bullshit, and you know it.” I shift onto my knees, facing him. “Just talk to me. Tell me why you kept my things all these years.”

“Why do you f*cking think?” He spins around to face me, his eyes wide with anger. “For the same reason I keep coming back and having sex with you all the damn time. Because I never got over you! I’ve spent the last ten years of my life pining away over you like an idiot while you moved on to a brand-new life, doing God knows what, f*cking God knows who!”

I don’t why, but instead of feeling guilt, his words incense me.

Maybe it’s because of an article I read a few days ago. It was an old article, but I regretted reading it the moment I did. It talked about the upturn in Gunner Entertainment’s success since Adam took over the helm. I was proud of him while reading it until I got to the part where it said he was as successful in business as he was with women.

“You’ve hardly been pining.” I sound bitter and jealous. Maybe it’s because I am. “I know there have been other women over the years, Adam. A lot of other women.” The second I say it, I know that it was the wrong thing to say.

“Don’t you f*cking dare.” His voice is low but as deadly as a striking cobra. “You don’t get to comment on how I’ve been living my life while you’ve been gone. You left me, remember? And so what if I f*cked other women? I was free to do so. Yeah, I f*cked them, hundreds of them, and I loved every minute. And you know what, Evie? Every single one of them was better than you, even the bad f*cks.”

A sob breaks from me. I press my hand to my mouth, as tears start to run down my cheeks.

“Does that hurt, Evie? Does it feel like your chest is cracking wide open, and you’re bleeding out? Because if it does, then you’re getting a little taste of how I’ve felt every single day for the last ten years!” he roars at me. “Only difference here is, you knew where I was. You could have come back anytime. And you know what? I would have taken you back in a second, like the dumb f*ck I am. But me?” He slams a hand against his chest. “I was left with nothing! No f*cking clue where you were, what you were doing, or who you were doing it with!”

“I wasn’t doing anything with anyone!” I yell, fighting back. “There hasn’t been anyone since you! There has only ever been you!”

He stills, his eyes boring into mine.

“There’s—” His voice cracks. “There’s been no one…else?”

I look away. “No.”

“Why not?” His voice is almost a whisper.

Gathering my courage, I force my eyes back to him. The look on his face has softened a little, and it gives me the nerve to say the truth. “Because I never got over you. I didn’t want to let you go, so I could never move on.”