Wanting Winter(60)

I notice people looking at her, whispering and pointing, but she doesn’t look at them. She just rolls her eyes, which causes me to chuckle.

When we get to the hallway, we notice Candice laughing with her new boyfriend, and when she spots us, her mouth hangs open in surprise. “What is she doing here?” she asks me.

“She wanted to come to school, and trust me, this one can be stubborn.”

Winter gives me a look and I wink at her. I see the corner of her mouth lift. Winter looks to the guy looking at her, watching him with interest.

“Winter, this is my boyfriend, Neil. Neil this is Winter.”

“Hi, Winter.” He holds out his hand and she studies it before she takes it, giving him a warm smile to which he returns. She waggles her eyebrows to Candice causing us all to laugh.

“I think she approves,” I say.

Winter and Candice have seemed to put everything that went down behind them. They smile and laugh with one another. Being friends like they should have been from the beginning.

The rest of the goes the same way. She meets Joshua’s girlfriend, giving Joshua a thumbs up in approval. Everyone is super nice to her, and luckily no one mentions what happened.

We sit in the cafeteria, throwing fries at each other and laughing. Winter seems to be having a ball. I think she’s needed this. She needed to get back to her normal routine, even though I am waiting for the penny to drop.

Winter’s smile falls though when Patrick sits down, joining us. He gives Winter a warm smile, but she doesn’t return it. I wonder if they have had a falling out.

She stands up and I stand with her. She rolls her eyes and points to her groin, indicating she is going to the bathroom and she pushes me back down into my seat.

“You know I like it when you dominate me,” I smirk at her and she shakes her head. I pull her onto my lap and she looks into my eyes, and, for the first time in a long while, she looks at me with affection—a look I have missed so much.

She stands back up and heads off and I sit there smiling to myself. Each day, I feel like I’m getting the old Winter back. I am hoping it won’t be long until she talks again.





Twenty-One





Winter





I want to tell everyone so badly what Patrick did to me, but I feel that once the words leave my mouth, it will make everything that happened to me so much more real. I’m not ready for the world to know. I am not ready to make it all a reality.

I don’t want to see the pity and sympathy in people’s eyes.

I’m a victim—a fucking victim—and I hate it.

Everyone is moving on with their lives. I am happy they are all happy, but another part of me, a bigger part, is angry that they have. Each day doesn’t get easier. It just gets bearable. They are all smiling and laughing, forgetting that I was in hell. I can hardly look at myself in the mirror. Until the day when I had a break down, I avoided looking at my reflection, what I saw staring back at me, wasn’t me. It is what he created.

I close my eyes and images of what he did to me enter.

I see him nearly every day, looking at me, warning me that if I say anything it will happen all over again, promising me he will hurt me. Everyone wants to know who did it, but they can’t promise I will be safe once I do. Trent has been so good to me, looking after me, staying at my apartment, and being a good friend.

I hate being in the living room. When I’m on my own in the room, as I look at the door, I get flashbacks of Patrick walking in and hitting me, and I look to the ground to see myself lying there as he raped me.

I want to move but I can’t. It's so hard to try and forget.

I’m broken.

My scars may have healed, but the ones inside me haven't.

I just want to finish college and move away from all this.

Heading to the bathroom, I relieve myself and I look in the mirror, staring at my hair. Every time I see my reflection, all I see is Patrick's pet. His slave. His little toy.

How can he be around me, knowing what he did to me?

I’m glaring into my lifeless eyes when the door opens and Patrick stands there smirking at me, his eyes trailing down my body. “Trent seems to think that you are his.” He says walking closer to me. “But you aren’t his, are you?”

I don’t move, I just look at him. “I hated what happened back in the basement. Well, not everything.” He winks at me. “I hated that you didn’t talk, but now I am very grateful you don’t. You have been such a good girl, Winter.” He stands in front of me stroking my hair. “Lift your dress,” he orders.

Staring at him, seeing that look in his eyes, I feel like I’m back in the basement. I do as he says. I pull it up, him eyeing my white lace underwear. I see him lick his lips.

I just continue to stare at him blankly. If I look away he will hurt me. I am finally healed and I can’t bear to see another mark.

“You are so beautiful. You suit living rather than being trapped, but you are trapped, aren’t you? Right here.” He touches the side of my head.

He unbuttons his jeans, pulling them down with his boxers, freeing his erection. “I like knowing I’m in your thoughts every day. You can never get rid of me.” He comes closer to me, pushing me to sit on the edge of the counter. He pulls my underwear to the side and enters me.