Wanting Winter(59)

Weeks have gone by and she hasn’t said a word.

The test came back clear, but there was no DNA to see who did this to her. I ask her every day if it’s someone we know. I wait for her to slip and give me a sign, but she looks at each of us like we are strangers for a long time.

Her parents are the only people she shows any kind of real emotion to. I see tears prickle her eyes, but they’re more from the pain she sees in theirs.

She is released after a few days and is back at her apartment, her parents living with her, never leaving her side. They wanted her to go back home but she protested, shaking her head.

I am glad she is staying.

Not seeing her every day would kill me. I just got her back and I’m not ready for her to go again. Whoever did this is still out there. I have been sleeping on the couch; if anyone walks in this place trying to get to her again, I will get sent down for murder.

I am heading to the bathroom to have a shower and when I open the door, I see Winter standing in front of the mirror completely naked looking at herself. For the first time, I see tears falling down her cheeks as she strokes her fingers through her white-blonde hair, her dark roots coming through.

She looks so skinny and fragile. She eats as much as she can but with hardly eating anything when she was taken, if she eats too much she gets sick.

She looks at me, not covering her naked body. I’m not looking at her in a sexual way; I am looking at her, seeing her pain.

She starts screaming, shouting, pulling her hair, and sobbing out to the room.

I run to her, pulling her arms away from her head, but she continues to kick and scream. She takes hold of her brush and throws it at the mirror, smashing it into a million pieces, the glass falling to the ground.

She cries into me. I hold her, and she just continues to cry.

“What is going on?” Her dad runs in, seeing me holding his crying daughter.

“I think she had a breakdown. Has she seen herself in a mirror before now?” I ask him.

He thinks about it. “I don’t think so.”

“She’s just seen how she looks now.” I look at her body and hair, telling him that she has seen what that monster did to her through my eyes.

“Winter.” Her dad comes to her side and she climbs into his lap and sobs into his chest. I sit there watching them, feeling so helpless. I leave the room grabbing a blanket and wrapping it around her.

I can’t even imagine what is going through her head.

I bet she plays everything that happened every minute of every day.

I leave them and walk in the living room, pacing up and down. I don’t know what to do.

I feel so lost.



Days go on, and since the bathroom incident, she’s started to show little snippets of emotion. It’s almost like it was some sort of therapy for her, to just cry out.

We’ve watched the odd movie and she’s laughed, and it has felt like a warm hug surrounding me. She is getting there; each day she gets stronger.

Winter is a fighter.

The police have been a couple of times, asking her questions, but like always, she doesn’t say a word. The main question they want to know is, who did it.

The guys visit her, but they have started going back to school, continuing with their lives. Even Candice is dating someone from one of her classes. All this has changed her for the better; she isn’t as much of a bitch as she once was. She sometimes drops by, filling Winter in with all the school gossip, swooning over her new beau and how much she likes him and how amazing he is.

Winter just sits there watching her, smiling and nodding.

Joshua has made it official by dating a girl who is a cheerleader. He felt guilty about it, but she has been there for him through all this and they got close. He told Winter this, and she just smiled, patting his shoulder, telling him she understands in her own way.

That left me and Drake.

He hasn’t shown any signs that he wants to be with her. I on the other hand still want her. I can be patient, and I know she is going to get past this.

I can wait a lifetime.

Right now I just want the old Winter back. I want to hear her speak. I want her to be happy.



One morning she gets up and dressed and grabs her laptop bag heading to the door. I and her parents run after her like she is crazy.

“Where the fuck do you think you are going?” I ask her.

She looks at her laptop bag, rolling her eyes.

“You are not going to school.”

She puts her hands on her hips glaring at me, and I smile down at her.

“You look too cute angry. If you want to go, tell me.”

But she just looks at me, giving me a look.

“Sweetie, I think it’s too soon for you to be going back to school. Maybe when you start talking again...”

Winter gives her mom a pleading look.

“It’s too soon.” Her mom starts to cry, but Winter looks to the door and back to her mom. Her mom then looks to me. “Watch her like a hawk. I mean it. I will call the school.” She walks away.

“I am going to follow you; I will be like your second shadow,” I tell her, and she huffs walking out the door.

I follow her.

It has been two months since her ordeal. I don’t blame her for wanting to get back to normality, but I just think that something bad is going to happen.

I drive her to school and the whole way, she looks out the window at the trees as they go by. When we park up, she jumps out and I stand at her side. She looks around her taking in a deep breath before she starts walking.