Verum (The Nocte Trilogy, #2)(58)
It’s all too much.
Too much.
I think about getting frantic,
And I almost do.
But to keep calm,
I replay the facts in my head.
My name is Calla Price.
I’m eighteen years old, and I’m half of a whole.
My other half, my twin brother, my Finn, is crazy.
Finn is dead.
My mother is dead.
My father is dead.
Dare’s mother is dead.
I’ve spent every summer at Whitley my entire life.
I’ve loved Dare since I was small.
I’ve been floating in a sea of insanity, and I can’t wake up.
I can’t wake up.
Dare is my lifeline.
He’s still here.
I focus every ounce of strength I have, trying to force my hand into gripping his, the hands that I love so much, the hand that has held mine for so long.
But I’m helpless.
I’m weak.
Death takes another step, but I can’t scream.
It’s when he touches Dare that I bolster my strength.
He puts his hand on Dare’s shoulder,
And I can’t take that.
Don’t touch Dare, I want to scream. You took his mother, but you’re not taking him! He’s innocentHe’sInnocentHe’sInnocent!
But his fingers drum on Dare’s skin,
And everything in me boils,
And screams.
And somehow,
Some way,
I harness my energy,
And my finger twitches.
Dare’s humming stops.
“Calla?” he asks quickly, hope so potent in his voice.
I move my finger again, and it’s all the strength I have left.
I can’t move again, but I think it was enough.
Dare’s gone,
Gone from my side,
Yelling for someone,
For anyone.
Other voices fill my room,
Circling my bed,
And Dare’s voice is drowned.
He’s gone,
but others have replaced him.
I’m poked,
I’m prodded,
My lids are lifted and lights are shined into my eyes.
“It’s a miracle,” someone announces.
I can’t stay awake.
My strength is gone.
I fall asleep wishing Dare would come back.
I don’t know how long I sleep.
I only know that I dream,
And now, when I dream,
They’re lucid.
I’m no longer insane.
I don’t know why.
Olivia sits in front of me, her smile gentle and soft.
“My boy wasn’t meant for you, but you took him anyway.”
I swallow hard because I did take him.
“You have to know that’s the way of things,” I offer. “Boys can’t stay with their mothers forever. It wasn’t my fault you died.”
“I killed myself,” she says simply. “I didn’t mean to, but I couldn’t take any more pain.”
I understand pain.
I nod.
“My brother….”
My voice trails off. Thinking about Finn makes my chest hurt.
“I can’t live without my Finn,” I say limply. And Olivia shakes her head.
“You have to. He’s gone, but you’re not.”
“Why did I keep dreaming about you?” I ask her, confused now in a very real way.
She gets up and her form is so slight, so small. She’s dark like Dare and her eyes gleam like the night.
Black, black eyes that examine my soul.
She cocks her head, in the same way that Dare does.
“Because you couldn’t remember me. You couldn’t remember what happened. And what happened to me, is why Dare is who he is. He’s a protector, Calla. He’ll protect you until his dying day.”
“Why did you want me to bring him to you?” I ask. “You’re dead.”
“Because I left him and I shouldn’t have,” she says, closing her dark eyes. “He didn’t deserve it. And now he’s in pain, and he’ll stand by you until he can’t stand up anymore.”
She’s right.
Despite his own pain, he was by my bed, He’s been here the whole time, humming to me.
She shakes her head. “My son had to do what he did,” she tells me, and I know she’s talking about Richard now. “I wasn’t strong enough to stop it, but he was. Dare was strong enough.”
Her voice is small.
“Your story is so sad,” I tell her, because it is. The saddest thing I’ve ever heard. She shakes her head knowingly.
“It’s not. The saddest thing is knowing that you think none of this has been real. Your dreams are always real, Calla. Even if you don’t realize it. You’ve got to open your eyes. Open your eyes.
Open your eyes.
Open your eyes.”
I startle awake, the insistence of her voice shocking me into lucidity.
My eyes open.
The light is so bright it’s blinding.
The humming stops.
“Calla?” The voice is familiar. It’s a voice I love, more than life, more than anything.
Finn.
He grips my hand and little
by
little,