Until You Loved Me (Silver Springs #3)(56)

“No problem.” With that, he let the conversation lapse, which gave her the impression he was waiting until they reached the house.

Sure enough, once they parked in her small garage and went inside, he poured himself a glass of wine, carried it—along with the entire bottle—to the couch and sat down. “Ready when you are.”

She wanted a shower first. “Give me fifteen minutes,” she said and hurried into the bathroom.

The hot water soothed Ellie and helped her gain some perspective. She told herself she needed to look at this as a grand adventure, needed to quit worrying so much. If she and Hudson could remain thoughtful and cordial through the coming years, all might end well. Perhaps their approach to parenting was a little unconventional, with all the negotiations, but they were facing an unusual situation.

She scrubbed and shaved and rubbed vanilla-scented lotion all over her body. After being so sick, she was dying to feel clean and as attractive as possible.

After she dried her hair, she slipped into her big, fluffy robe, made a cup of herbal tea and brought it into the living room.

Hudson was watching an action flick. He hit the off button on the remote as she perched on the wingback chair. “Feel better?” he asked.

When she noticed that his gaze flicked to where her robe came together, she set her cup down and tightened her belt. But she couldn’t believe he had any real interest. There hadn’t been anything sexy or romantic about the past couple of days. “Much. Thanks for waiting.”

“No problem.” He leaned back. “Where do we start?”

“I guess we start with...exactly how you imagine our lives once we hit California.”

“Well, I realize you won’t know anyone when you first get there. I’ll do my best to entertain you, but I hope you’ll make some friends soon, do what you can to acclimate. You’ll be happier then, and it’s important that we both retain our independence.”

“In other words, you’re worried I might get in the way of your social life.”

“I wouldn’t say worried. But I don’t want to feel guilty for going places without you. That would put me under pressure to always take you with me, and I’m afraid I’d start to resent it.”

“Understood. But just so you know, you won’t have to feel guilty about that. I’m an only child, which means I figured out long ago how to entertain myself. Trust me, alone time is never a problem for me.”

“You say that now, but what if I go out to play pool or poker with the guys? What will you do?” he asked, sounding uncertain.

She took a sip of her tea. The warm liquid felt good as it slid down her throat and eased her sore stomach. She was finally getting hungry but was still afraid to eat much. “Read. Study. Research. I have a whole library on my e-reader. Feel free to go out whenever and wherever you want.”

Some of the stiffness left his body. “Okay. That’s encouraging.”

“We’ll both be able to come and go as we please.” She wrinkled her nose as she considered what they had planned. “Perhaps I should get my own place...”

“No. My place is plenty big. And I’d like to be part of everything that includes the baby, which will be harder if we have separate households. I can’t see you calling me up in the middle of the night to tell me the baby’s moving. Even if you did, by the time I got over there, I’d miss all the excitement.”

Ellie gripped her cup a little tighter. “Wow. So you plan to be intimately involved in the pregnancy.”

“I do.” He stated that unequivocally.

“Then...you weren’t joking about being in the delivery room.”

“No.”

“Not sure I’m up for that,” she admitted.

“What would it hurt?”

“Besides the obvious—that I’ll be completely exposed—I’ll also be at my most vulnerable.”

“You were pretty vulnerable while you were sick, and I didn’t do a bad job. You’ll need someone to give you support.”

“Amy or my parents will come.”

“Still. Your feelings could change once you learn you can trust me.”

She couldn’t imagine having him in the room with her. What if something embarrassing happened? She didn’t want to be worrying about that at the same time she was giving birth, but it was too early to argue. “We’ve got a while. Let’s leave that one until later.”

“I’m fine with leaving it until we know each other better. But I hope you’ll keep an open mind. So what if you’ll be completely exposed? I wouldn’t be looking at you in sexual terms. I’d be looking at you as the mother of my child.”

She was more afraid of how he might look at her afterward—and not because she had any romantic designs on him. Whoever ended up with Hudson would most likely be fighting a constant battle to hang on to him, considering the amount of female attention he received. She wasn’t cut out for such fierce competition, and yet...she wanted him to find her at least mildly attractive. But that was all. Letting him get any closer would be too real. The past few days had been real enough. She felt she was already working from a deficit. “We can talk about it when the time comes.”

“Okay. Next?”

“What about dating?” she asked. “Are you seeing anyone who needs to be alerted to what’s going on?”