Until You Loved Me (Silver Springs #3)(50)

“I want the baby myself,” he went on, and only then did he realize how much he meant those words.

Don’s mouth opened and closed twice before he managed to say, “Oh. Ellie didn’t... Ellie didn’t mention that.”

“She did tell you no,” Hudson said. “I heard her. I suggest you respect her answer, because I won’t be nearly so polite if you ever bring this up again.”

“Right. We understand,” Leo said and grabbed hold of his partner as they scooted out the door.

Once they were gone, Hudson rubbed the beard growth on his chin as he turned to face Ellie. “I’m sorry if you felt I shouldn’t get involved. But I can offer you a lot more than they can.”

“Offer me?” she echoed skeptically.

“Yes, and there’d be no shame in accepting. Since we live on opposite coasts, it would be too hard to split custody, at least for the first while. Maybe once the child gets older, we can talk about changing things, but for the first five or ten years, it’d be better to keep him in one place, with one parent. Consistency is important.” And was something he’d never had. He’d hated all the moving around, hated never being able to stay where he was already comfortable.

“You’re suggesting that...you should be the one to raise him.”

He could tell by her tone of voice that this wasn’t going well, but she hadn’t heard his offer. “I’m not saying I should be, only that I’m willing. And I’d make it worth your while.”

Her eyes narrowed. “In what way...?”

His gut told him to back away from this. She hadn’t reacted positively to Don’s offer, but Don was her ex. Hudson would never expect her to give the baby up to him. Besides, Don couldn’t pay nearly as much and, after seeing the ultrasound, Hudson was willing to make her rich in order to get what he wanted. “They were talking $80,000—I’m talking a million. And you could have contact, too,” he said. “I’m not trying to pay you off to get rid of you. You could come out and visit whenever you wanted, send emails, texts and letters. I’d just like to have...” He’d been about to say total control, but those words had too many negative connotations. “Sole custody. To keep the child with me.”

He held his breath as he awaited her reaction. He’d made her a darn good offer, one that had to be attractive, especially to someone who hadn’t fully launched her career. With her education, she had decent earning potential, but right now she was working on a postdoctoral fellowship. According to Wikipedia, that paid only somewhere in the neighborhood of $42,000 a year; he knew because he’d checked as soon as he found out about the baby—to see how much incentive she might have to take advantage of him. After all those years of college, she was probably carrying a load of student debt, too. With the money he was willing to give her, she could pay off her loans, live far more comfortably and continue to devote herself to science until she was married and in a better position to start a family. And he wasn’t cutting her off from this child, wasn’t demanding she disappear from the baby’s life.

She said nothing, simply turned her face to the wall.

“Ellie, I’m not trying to make you feel bad,” he clarified in the ensuing silence.

“No,” she said, looking back at him. “I realize that.”

He would’ve sighed in relief except he could see tears swimming in her eyes. “This is hard. It’s an emotional time for both of us, and I’m not the one who’s pregnant.” He smiled, trying to get her to smile, too, but that fell flat. “What could I do to be more fair?”

“Nothing,” she replied.

He swallowed to ease his dry throat. “So...is that a yes? I could have the money wired into your account tomorrow, have the custody papers drawn up so we can get this over with as quickly as possible. Is that what you’d like?”

She closed her eyes, but a tear squeezed out anyway and ran into her hair.

“Ellie?” he prompted.

“No,” she said. “I won’t sell my baby even to you.”

He caught his breath. What was he supposed to do now? “Ellie—”

She rolled away from him. “Go.”

“Wait. Can’t we talk about this?”

No response.

“What do you suggest we do?” he asked.

“The opposite,” she mumbled. “The baby stays with me. If you ever want to visit you can—for free.”

He dropped his head in his hand and attempted to rub away the sharp pang of tension hitting him right between the eyes. “Ellie, please,” he said. “This will be all the family I’ve got.”

Fortunately, the appeal in his voice—or maybe it was the sheer honesty—seemed to affect her more than any promise of money. She turned to look at him once more. “You can have other children. You know how easy it would be for you.”

“Not nearly as easy as you think. I’m interested in this child. I want to be completely involved.”

“That won’t work. I won’t give him up.” She lifted her right hand. “And don’t raise your offer. This isn’t a negotiating tactic. I won’t take any amount of money.”

Of course he’d decide he wanted the baby and then not be able to have him. That was just his luck when it came to relationships. He clenched his jaw as he tried to think of something he could say that might actually be productive, but he couldn’t come up with a single idea. “Is there anything I can do to make you change your mind?”