Until You Loved Me (Silver Springs #3)(47)

It was crazy to fall in love with someone so fast, but his heart seemed to latch onto this child immediately. And that frightened him. He had so little control over this situation. Almost everything that happened, at least in the first five to ten years, would depend on a woman who lived on the opposite coast, one he didn’t know very well, who’d nearly kicked him out of the room.

“That’s a strong heartbeat.” Ed, the ultrasound technician, spoke as if Hudson should be proud. “You’ve got a future Heisman winner here.”

Hudson heard what was said but the words didn’t penetrate, not enough to elicit a reply. He was going to have a son. That was all he could think about. When he’d first learned about the baby, it hadn’t felt real, but it was feeling real now, and instead of being filled with more of the anger that had sent him into a tirade at the motel, he was oddly...excited.

He would probably never have known this feeling if the baby hadn’t been an accident. He’d been so busy avoiding romantic attachments, and was always so diligent about using birth control, that having a child hadn’t been all that likely. He hadn’t even realized he wanted one—until now.

He cast a surreptitious glance at Ellie. She didn’t look back at him. She seemed to be transfixed by the monitor. But he was grateful to have a moment to observe her when she wasn’t paying attention to him. His baby’s mother was smart and attractive and seemed like a decent person. Maybe he should be glad she was the woman in this with him. Based on what he’d learned about her, he felt confident that she’d be a good mother.

That acknowledgment made him feel even worse about how he’d treated her in the motel. He wanted to take her hand, to feel those thin fingers curl through his like they had that night at Envy. He had no idea what they might be to each other—if they’d like or hate each other in the end—but, for better or worse, they were taking this journey together.

He was tempted to tell her how awed, overwhelmed and frightened he was, in case she was feeling the same. He thought it might encourage her to hear that she wasn’t alone. But he didn’t know how to say those words. And he didn’t think she’d welcome any contact.

“Did you already know it was a boy?” Ed asked.

Hudson opened his mouth to respond. He’d guessed, thanks to the colors in the nursery Ellie was preparing at her house. But he couldn’t get a response past the gigantic lump in his throat. He was going to have a lifelong connection to another human being, unlike any he’d ever had before...

Ellie interjected that she’d had an ultrasound a couple of weeks ago and had been told the baby was a boy, but when Hudson didn’t chime in to show surprise or happiness or anything, a curious expression came over Ed’s face, making it clear that it was Hudson’s response Ed had hoped to solicit.

An awkward silence ensued as the ultrasound technician looked up at him expectantly.

“Hudson? Are you okay?” Ellie asked, once again attempting to fill the gap.

He couldn’t answer. It was the craziest thing he’d ever experienced, but he felt as if he was going to burst into tears.

To avoid the embarrassment, he walked out.





13

After the ultrasound technician left, Ellie glanced over at her rolling tray, which had been shoved into the corner. Hudson’s food was still there; he hadn’t eaten much. By now it would be cold. Where had he gone? Even more pertinent—was he coming back? Perhaps the ultrasound had been too much for him. It was possible he’d decided he didn’t want any part of having a baby, after all.

She didn’t have time to wonder about that for long because several of her friends from the BDC came bustling into the room on the heels of the departing technician. Her boss, Dr. Carolyn Towers, walked in first, followed by Ned Pond, an associate who worked in immunology with her, Linda Staley, the receptionist at the BDC, and Dick and Diane DeVry from the foundation.

“I can’t believe you’re in the hospital! Are you okay?” Carolyn asked with a sympathetic frown. She was wearing her customary black pencil skirt and blouse. Although she had to be approaching sixty, she wore high heels almost every day and looked ten years younger.

“I am now,” Ellie said. “Yesterday, however, wasn’t so good.”

Diane, who had her thick, sandy-colored hair piled up in a messy bun, pulled the rolling tray closer to the bed and put a vase of tiger lilies next to Hudson’s sack of abandoned burgers and fries. “I hope the baby’s okay. Have you heard anything?”

“I just had an ultrasound. He’s fine.”

“He?” they echoed as a group.

She’d been so rattled by the odd way Hudson had reacted to seeing the baby that she hadn’t been thinking when she spoke. “Whoops! I guess I let that out a little early. I was planning to do a gender-reveal party when I had the chance but...that won’t be necessary now.”

“A boy.” Linda, who was shorter and heavier than Ellie, as well as twenty years older, smiled dreamily. “You’re going to love being a mother.”

Ellie had no way of knowing if that would be true, but there was no going back, so she hoped Linda was right.

“What made you sick?” Diane tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

“The flu,” Ellie told them. “Knocked me flat. I got dehydrated, needed fluids. I rarely get sick, but this virus really kicked my butt.”