To Have It All(22)
I didn’t mean to sneer, but this was my sister. It didn’t matter if I was in Max’s body or not, the thought was gross.
Helen smacked my arm, bringing me to my senses. “Max’s baby, Liam. Go after her, idiot!” Twisting me, she began pushing me toward the door to catch Waverly at the elevator.
“And say what? She hates me.”
“She doesn’t hate you. She hates Max. You can fix this.”
I stopped dead in my tracks causing Helen to grunt as she attempted to move me without success. Spinning around, I said, “Helen. I’m not Max. I can’t do anything that could alter his life. What if we switch back and I’ve fucked everything up for him?”
“Well, at the very least you know that this is not his baby, Liam. You can fix that. Don’t let her leave thinking this deadbeat asshole ditched their kid while moving on to play daddy to another.”
Clenching my fists, I groaned. I hated this. I hated being Max. His life was a web of selfishness that made everyone feel like shit. Now I had to figure out a way to calm Waverly down while still preserving his assholishness.
“Waverly, wait!” I yelled as I sprinted into the hall. She was already at the elevator, the doors having just opened when I found her. When she saw me, she jerked the wagon inside and hoisted Pim up further on her hip before she started repeatedly hitting the close doors button. I barely made it in time, and just before they closed, I stuck my foot out and stopped them.
“Really?” I questioned, almost out of breath from running.
“What, Max?” she snapped. “My taxi is waiting.”
“That’s not my baby,” I sputtered, jabbing my thumb back toward the apartment. “Definitely not my baby,” I reaffirmed as the thought of it once again made me shiver.
“Oh?” she snorted. “Planning on disowning this one, too?”
Her dark eyes met mine, a look that said she was somewhere between believing me and thinking I was a bold-faced liar before she looked away.
“I swear. The baby really isn’t mine.” It didn’t occur to me at that moment to realize that I was the one swearing to her, but it was Max she heard and saw. His promises didn’t mean shit to her.
Shaking her head a few times, she took a deep breath. “I don’t care,” she answered, her eyes fixed on the buttons. “Now move.”
I stared at her a moment. Should I just let her leave? I hated to let her take off when she was angry, but what else could I do? She was hurt. Not just because she thought Helen’s baby might be Max’s, but in general. This was a hurt that had been built over a long time; a hurt that had never been acknowledged, at least not by Max. Somewhere along the way, this man had broken her and somehow she’d managed to exist wearing the pain as if it were as natural as her skin. The way she carried it with such strength had me in awe. Pain isn’t traditionally beautiful, but somehow, it was on her. She was like broken glass; one might react quickly to pick up the shattered pieces, hoping to mend what was broken, only to find themselves cut; there was no doubt a woman like this could make a man bleed. But broken glass isn’t always a risky mess. If someone has the patience to just sit back and wait, they might see that sometimes the light hits the scattered shards just right, and then that broken mess sparkles in a way it never could have before.
“I’ll be dropping her off at 8 a.m. tomorrow,” she added just before the elevator doors closed.
My head reared back, luckily she didn’t see it. Damn. What was I going to do? Trudging back into the apartment, I slammed the door behind me and ran my hands through my hair as I let out a loud growl of frustration.
“How’d it go?” Helen asked from the kitchen where she was sipping a glass of water in front of the sink.
“Not good,” I grumbled. Opening up the fridge, I growled again. “He doesn’t even have any food here. There’s nothing in here but cheese and fancy fucking wine.”
“Don’t hate on fancy wine,” she tried to joke to ease my frustration. “I’ve conceived two babies under the influence of fancy wine.”
Despite my anger, I snorted a laugh. “I doubt it was fancy wine when you conceived David,” I pointed out, still staring into the fridge. “His father probably bought something five bucks or under from the gas station.”
“Well, for as young as we were it seemed fancy to me at the time,” she shrugged.
Slamming the fridge door shut, I grabbed my hair with my fists. “I feel like I’m going crazy.”
“You’re not,” she assured me. “You’re just hungry. Grab a burger somewhere, and I’ll bring some groceries in the morning for you.”
“She’s bringing Pim back tomorrow.”
Helen’s features lit up as she grinned widely. “She is?”
“Helen,” I warned.
“Oh, stop it,” she waved a dismissive hand. “Have you thought about what will happen if you never leave his body, Liam?”
I stared at her blankly. I had only let my mind stick its big toe in the pool of that thought; letting it test the water, but nothing more. Venturing too far in that direction could be dangerous. I didn’t want to let myself get attached to Max’s life whether it be his money and fancy place, or his gorgeous ex and precious baby girl—neither of which he wanted. Not to mention his dick was smaller than mine—maybe only slightly smaller, but I didn’t want to get used to that. However, the pool of that thought was getting bigger, and it wouldn’t be long until I might have to jump in and wade around in the water. There was also the reality that if I did, in fact, remain in his body permanently, I would have to make changes from the floor up, starting with his overall selfish behavior.