Tiny Habits: The Small Changes That Change Everything(13)

From now on, I want you to look at your behavior the way a scientist looks at what’s growing in a petri dish—with curiosity and objective distance. This is going to be a different mindset than the ones in many of the change books you might have read. I’m not dwelling on willpower or rigidly prescribing something that is going to set you up for feeling bad. I want you to treat your life as your own personal “change lab”—a place to experiment with the person you want to be. A place where you not only feel safe but also feel like anything is possible.

For the next four chapters, we’ll learn about the Behavior Design proc-ess and use it to start our experiments. We’ll focus on the Tiny Habits method because it’s the foundation for creating positive habits and it contains all the key principles you’ll need to design for other behaviors down the road. You’ll use the same process to achieve a specific outcome over time, do a big one-time behavior, or disrupt unwanted behaviors. And the first step to creating a pack of positive habits is to decide which ones to cultivate.

But before you can do that, you’ve got to take a closer look at what’s been tripping you up all these years. If you’re reading this book, there’s a good chance you have some things you want to change but haven’t yet. So what has booby-trapped your attempts at change?

The Motivation Monkey.

The Motivation Monkey tricks us into setting unreasonable goals. He can sometimes help us reach amazing heights, but he will often abandon us when we need him most.





Tiny Exercises to Practice the Fogg Behavior Model


The first exercise is easy. The second exercise will take a bit more work, but don’t skip it. I guarantee that your investment of time and effort will pay off.





EXERCISE #1: EXPLORE WAYS TO STOP A HABIT


The Fogg Behavior Model applies to all types of behavior change. In this exercise, you’ll explore simple ways to stop a habit.



Step 1: Write down three habits that you’d like to stop. Try to be specific. For instance, write “Stop buying soda for lunch” rather than “Stop drinking soda.”



Step 2: For each habit, think of ways you might remove (or avoid) the prompt. If you can’t think of anything, that’s okay. Move on to the next step.



Step 3: For each habit, think of ways to make it harder to do (ability).



Step 4: For each habit, think of ways to reduce your motivation.



Step 5: For each habit, select your best solution from steps 2, 3, and 4.



Extra Credit: Put your solution into practice.





EXERCISE #2: LEARN THE FOGG BEHAVIOR MODEL BY TEACHING IT TO SOMEONE ELSE



One great way to learn something is to teach it to someone else.



Step 1: See the appendix on page 279 for the script to teach the Fogg Behavior Model.



Step 2: Draw the elements of the Behavior Model as you read the script. Practice this until you can explain the model without reading the script.



Step 3: Find someone you can teach.



Step 4: Explain the Behavior Model using your drawing of the elements. (Or, even better, draw the model as you explain it.)



Step 5: After you are done with the two-minute explanation, ask your learner, “What surprised you?” This is my favorite teaching question because it can lead to a conversation that makes the learning experience better for everyone.





Chapter 2



Motivation—Focus on Matching





Sandra and Adrian had just bought their first home. At the first showing, they had stood on the back deck with their agent and surveyed the only downside to the property—the backyard.

It was a mess. A crumbling rock wall, knee-high grass, and a scary-looking compost pile huddled against the back of the garage. At that point, Sandra and Adrian didn’t care. They were riding high on the American Dream. All they saw was possibility. A veggie garden and flower beds. A hammock strung between two scraggly oak trees. A rare bird alighting on a lemon tree.

On the day they took down the sold sign, they were excited. They made their checklist of must-do items and jumped in. They started indoors, sanding, painting, and scrubbing every square inch of the place. A couple of weeks later, they had crossed everything off their list except the backyard. They stood side by side on the back deck to check things out. They felt very different this time. Their verve for home improvement had fallen off a cliff. They were overwhelmed. Where should they start? Sandra grew up mowing her parents’ lawn, but that was the extent of her experience with landscaping. Adrian grew up in an apartment, so he knew even less. They didn’t have any garden tools. Would a lemon tree even grow in New Hampshire? They knew what they wanted—a beautiful backyard where they could enjoy time with friends and watch their future children run through sprinklers and build forts. But now this felt like a fantasy. And a ton of work.

This is where most people turn around, go back inside, and tell themselves they’ll get to it later. Or they dive in full-bore and exhaust themselves. Three hours of backbreaking work later, they give up and don’t return. Either way, the dream is deferred, replaced by feelings of guilt, disappointment, or failure.

So what happened here?