The Survivors(93)

Renn looked up at the ceiling, blinking.

‘I don’t know, honestly. I suppose I started to think maybe Geoff Mallott was right. Finding that backpack on the boat only gave us more questions than answers about Gabby. It didn’t clear anything up, and it would definitely cause a lot more confusion and pain. Mallott reckoned we’d all had enough of that. I wondered if maybe he had a point.’

‘This is bullshit.’ Kieran surprised himself. He saw Mia look up. ‘It is. So what if the bag was on the boat? Gabby fell in the water. Finn and Toby must have fished out her backpack. That’s all.’

‘No.’ Renn was already shaking his head. ‘No, mate. That bag hadn’t been in the sea. There was a bit of damage to the boat itself, yeah, but that dry box was watertight. You know what it’s like. Nothing gets in there. I could see it for myself, even while Mallott stood there lying to me. There was no water in there. You could still read the handwriting on the charts. The bag can’t have been wet when it was put inside, or it would have leaked and dripped all over the place. But it was bone dry in that box. Someone carried that backpack on board.’

Mia fixed her eyes on Renn. ‘Who?’

‘Who knows?’ he said. ‘Gabby herself? Finn? Toby? Someone else? But if Gabby Birch was on that boat that day, it wasn’t because she was pulled out of the sea.’





Chapter 33


Mia was the first to react.

‘We have to tell Olivia,’ she said, pushing back her chair. ‘And Trish.’

‘Wait,’ Kieran started, but she was already standing up. ‘Mia, okay, just –’

‘No.’ She slowed though, and took a step closer. She touched his arm. ‘No, Kieran. We’re not going to do this. This is not the kind of thing you want to keep to yourself. Do you hear me? It would be unbearable.’ She didn’t need to look at Renn, who had his elbows on the desk and his head in his hands. ‘I can’t do it, and I can’t watch you do it.’

‘But –’ Kieran felt Audrey twist in his arms and his head was suddenly full of Trish Birch. Her backpacks. Her slow walks up and down the shoreline, searching for a sign from someone so long gone. How would Kieran measure up against the nightmare of his own child lost? He thought about Trish, and Bronte’s parents, and – his heart constricted in a familiar way – Brian and Verity. He could feel the flutter of Audrey’s pulse. He didn’t know how any of them got through a single day. He couldn’t bring himself to imagine what it took.

‘I’ll tell Trish and Olivia,’ Renn said, into his hands.

Mia turned. ‘You’ve had twelve years to tell them.’

‘I know.’ He raised his head. ‘I have wanted to, though. Every single time I see Trish, I think about telling her. Every time. When I see her on that beach. When I hear that she’s thrown another one of those bags of hers into the ocean. How much longer can I stand back and let her keep doing that?’ He rubbed his face in frustration. ‘I’ve wanted to tell Olivia, whenever I can see that she’s sad or worried. Which is a lot. So yeah, I’m very aware of what it’s done to that family, don’t you worry about that. The thing that’s stopped me, for what it’s worth –’ There was a long pause. ‘The truth hurts a lot of people. That was the case then, and it’s the case now. And it still doesn’t bring Gabby back. Trish and Olivia stay hurt anyway.’

Mia wavered, then opened her mouth. ‘But Trish –’

‘Yeah, I know.’ Renn stopped her. ‘I do know. I’ll talk to them. And Toby’s family. With everything going on, it’s going to come out anyway. Sue Pendlebury knows now, and I can’t see George Barlin letting his questions about the timings drop. But I’d like to tell Trish myself. So I can tell her I’m sorry.’ Renn looked like a man lost. ‘And I’d like Olivia to hear it from me.’

Mia was already reaching to put Audrey in the pram, but Kieran stayed where he was.

‘Wait –’ he said.

‘Kieran,’ she said. ‘You know they have to be told. Whether Chris does it or we do, they have to hear it.’

‘I know that.’ Kieran held on tight to his daughter and looked at Renn. ‘But you have to give me the chance to tell my mum first.’

Verity was in the ocean. She was standing waist-deep with her head moving slowly back and forth as she watched Brian swim laps. Brian drove through the water with a smooth freestyle stroke. His technique was still very good, Kieran thought. He hadn’t forgotten that at least. Verity shielded her eyes and waved as she saw them approaching.

‘He loves this. And it’s easier than trying to persuade him to have a shower,’ Verity said, her smile fading as she noticed their faces. ‘What’s wrong?’

They took her to sit among the boxes on the back verandah. Brian lay on his towel in a patch of sunlight with his eyes closed, letting the heat dry his board shorts.

Kieran didn’t know how to begin. After a few false starts Verity frowned – ‘For God’s sake, Kieran, just say it’ – and Mia had to step in. She faltered as well as Verity’s face slowly began to change, hardening around the eyes first and then the mouth and jaw. Kieran took over once more and eventually, with Mia’s help, they followed Verity’s advice and just came out with it. Verity sat with her hands in her lap and her head tilted forward as she listened to them explain what Pendlebury had said, and then Renn. The timings, the boat, the box, the backpack. Kieran didn’t finish speaking as much as trail off as Verity suddenly stood up.