The Kill Society (Sandman Slim)(91)

“You’re an archangel who hates his dad, has a neurotic thirst for power, and when the war is all over, you have a plan to set yourself up as a tinhorn messiah with those goons up there as your brownshirts. Am I in the ballpark with all that? I think I am.”

“You have a big mouth and make a lot of assumptions about your betters.”

“I just helped kill an archangel exactly like you Downtown, so I’m acquainted with your type.”

He thinks about that for a minute.

“Who did you kill?”

“Raziel.”

He laughs and so does his peanut gallery.

“That imbecile? He couldn’t even pick a side, so he ran off to the hinterlands with his tail between his legs.”

“He had nice things to say about you, too.”

“Did he? What did he say?”

“That you’re a coward, and even though you might not have liked him, you were always jealous of Samael because he’s smarter than you and has bigger balls.”

“Feel free to leave me out of this conversation,” Samael says.

Michael rubs the back of his neck.

“You’re aware that I’m an angel, correct? I can tell when mortals are lying. And you’re lying.”

“But I’m not a hundred percent mortal. Can you be a hundred percent sure when it comes to anything about me?”

That stops him for a minute. He turns to Samael.

“What’s that you’re holding? You’re friends with this thing. Are you doing his laundry now, too?”

“If only it were clean laundry,” Samael says. “Care for a sniff?”

Michael looks from Samael to me to Alice.

“You don’t look too well, my dear,” he says.

“Attack me and see how bright my Gladius is.”

“All in due time. Who are your friends?”

He points to Traven and the dog pack.

“Don’t worry about them,” I say. “They’re just some strays Alice picked up on the way.”

“Good,” says Michael. He turns to his goons. “Kill them.”

“Okay. Wait. They’re with me.”

“See? You were lying and I knew it.”

“You don’t have to kill them because you’re pissed at me. I take back all that other stuff I said about you. You seem like a swell, reasonable guy. Let’s talk this over, bastard to bastard.”

That really makes him smile.

“In that case, you’re all free to go. Enjoy Heaven.”

The others look at me.

I tell them, “Don’t move.” To Michael I say, “What’s the catch?”

“You know exactly what the catch is,” he says.

“Before I decide, tell me something. Did you see what happened or did someone tell you we had it?”

“Guess.”

“Wormwood. They told you.”

He looks at the bastards hovering above us.

“What a clever monster he is. I’ll keep his head on my mantel and take it out every now and then to scare children.”

His people chuckle.

“You’re very ugly, you know,” he says.

“So I’ve heard.”

It looks like I have one thing in my favor. He knows we have the Light Killer, but he doesn’t know it’s broken and a fake. Maybe I can do something with that.

“Listen, we both know I’m not just going to hand you the sword.”

“Fine. Kill his friends.”

“See, I was right. You’re a small-time little shit with a big ego.”

He holds up his hand for the attack squad to stop.

“You really should stop talking or I’ll kill your friends slowly in front of you.”

“I’m saying if you are who you say you are, send the glee club home and the two of us fight for the sword and my friends.”

“Stop it,” says Alice. “You’re being an asshole again.”

“Just because I’m an asshole doesn’t mean I’m wrong. This kind of thing is pretty much all I’ve done for the last twelve years.”

“What would Candy say? Your ego is as big as his. You think she’d be proud of you being this stupid?”

That almost knocks me back, but I suck it up and say, “I’ve spent a lot of energy trying not to think about Candy. This is not a good time to bring her up.”

I take a couple of steps toward Michael.

“What do you say? The two of us for the sword, Alice, and my friends.”

“Done,” says Michael. “But my troops won’t be leaving. You’re a well-known trickster and I won’t have it. This is a fight to the death between the two of us. No hoaxes or illusions. And no technicalities. If I think you’re cheating, all of your friends die.”

“Cool. Let me just say a couple of good-byes in case I break a nail.”

Alice says, “Please don’t do this. Let’s fight them together.”

“As long as I have Death’s knife, Mr. Universe isn’t hurting anyone.”

I squeeze her hand and go to Samael.

“Sorry to drag you into this.”

“Don’t apologize. This is more fun than I’ve had in a long time.”