The Japanese Lover(62)
“Take a good look, Nat, because you won’t have another opportunity to admire me. The gown is already tight around my waist. I don’t think I’ll be able to wear it again.”
Her husband noticed how her voice was trembling despite her attempt to charm him, and patted the seat beside him. Alma sat down.
“I don’t have any illusions, Alma. I know you love Ichimei.”
“I also love you, Nat. I don’t know how to explain it. There must be a dozen women in your life; I don’t know why you’ve never introduced me to any of them. You once told me that when you fell in love I’d be the first to know. As soon as the baby is born we can get divorced, and you’ll be free.”
“I haven’t renounced any great love for you, Alma, and I think it’s in very bad taste for you to talk about divorce on our wedding night.”
“Don’t laugh, Nat. Tell me the truth: do I attract you in any way? As a woman, I mean.”
“Until now I’ve always regarded you as my younger sister, but that could change when we live together. Would you like that?”
“I don’t know. I’m confused, sad, angry; I have a chaos in my head and a child in my belly. You got a dreadful deal marrying me.”
“That remains to be seen, but I want you to know I’ll be a good father to the child, boy or girl.”
“He or she will have Asian features, Nat. How are we going to explain that?”
“We won’t, and no one will dare ask, Alma. Heads held high and lips sealed is the best way. The only person with the right to ask is Ichimei Fukuda.”
“I’ll never see him again, Nat. Thank you a thousand times for what you’re doing for me. You’re the noblest person in the world, and I’ll try to make you a worthy wife. A few days ago I thought I would die without Ichimei, but now I think that with your help, I’ll survive. I won’t fail you. I’ll always be faithful, I swear.”
“Sshh, Alma. Let’s not make promises we might not be able to keep. We’re going to travel this path together, step by step, day by day, with the best of intentions. That’s all we can promise one another.”
* * *
Isaac Belasco had rejected outright the idea that the newlyweds have their own home. There was more than enough room at Sea Cliff, and the intention behind building such an enormous house had always been that several generations of the family would live under the same roof. Besides, Alma had to look after herself, and would need Lillian and her female cousins’ help and company; he declared that to set up and manage a new house would take far too much effort. As a clinching argument he used emotional blackmail: he wanted to spend what little time he had left with them, and they could then keep Lillian company when she was widowed. Nathaniel and Alma accepted the patriarch’s decision; she continued to sleep in her blue room, where the only change was to replace her bed with two new ones, separated by a night table. Nathaniel put his penthouse up for sale and returned to the family home. In his former bedroom he installed a study, his books and music, and a sofa. Everybody was aware that the couple’s daily routines did not exactly encourage intimacy: Alma got up at noon and went to bed early; he worked like a galley slave, came back home late from the office, shut himself away with his books and classical records, went to bed after midnight, slept very little, and left before she was awake. On the weekend he played tennis, jogged up Mount Tamalpais, went sailing around the bay in his boat, and came back sunburned, sweaty, and relaxed. It was also obvious that he usually slept on the sofa in his study, but this was put down to his wife’s need to rest. Nathaniel was so attentive to Alma, she depended so much on him, and there was so much trust and good humor between them that only Lillian suspected anything was amiss.
“How are things between you and my son?” she asked Alma in the second week after they had returned from their honeymoon, when her daughter-in-law was four months pregnant.
“Why do you ask, Aunt Lillian?”
“Because you two love each other just as you always did; nothing has changed. Marriage without passion is like food without salt.”
“You want us to be passionate in front of everyone?” laughed Alma.
“My love for Isaac is the most precious thing I have, Alma, far more than for my children or grandchildren. I want the same for you two: for you to live in love with each other, like Isaac and me.”
“What makes you think we don’t, Aunt Lillian?”
“You’re at the best time in your pregnancy, Alma. Between the fourth and seventh months a woman feels strong, full of energy, and sexy. Nobody tells you this, the doctors don’t mention it, but it’s like being in heat. That was how it was when I was expecting all my three children: I chased Isaac everywhere. It was scandalous! But I can’t see that same enthusiasm between Nathaniel and you.”
“How can you know what goes on between us behind closed doors?”
“Don’t answer me with more questions, Alma!”
On the far side of San Francisco Bay, Ichimei was silent and unapproachable, consumed by a bitter sense of betrayed love. He buried himself in his work, and his flowers grew more colorful and perfumed than ever to console him. He learned of Alma’s marriage because Megumi had been leafing through a society gossip magazine at the hairdresser’s and saw a photograph of Alma and Nathaniel Belasco in formal attire, presiding over the annual banquet of the family foundation. The caption stated that the couple had recently returned from their honeymoon in Italy and described the splendid reception as well as Alma’s elegant dress, inspired by the flowing tunics of ancient Greece. According to the magazine, they were the most talked-about couple of the year. Not suspecting she was going to drive a stake through her brother’s heart, Megumi had cut out the page and took it to show him. Ichimei studied it without showing the slightest emotion. He had been trying for several weeks to comprehend what had happened during those months with Alma in the motel and their intense lovemaking. He thought he had experienced something completely extraordinary, a passion worthy of literature, the meeting of two souls destined repeatedly to be together across time, but while he was embracing that magnificent certainty, she had been planning to marry someone else!