The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue (Guide #1)(76)

“Topher, there probably isn’t anything I can say to make you feel better, but I never meant to hurt—”

“Sam, you have nothing to apologize for,” Topher said. “I just needed some time to myself—to think about things, you know?”

Sam nodded. “I get it,” he said. “Just like MIT, I’m the second thing that isn’t going to work out the way you hoped.”

“But why not?” Topher asked. “If we both want it, what’s stopping us?”

The comment made Sam’s head spin.

“You mean, this doesn’t complicate things for you?”

“Sure, it complicates things, but is any relationship not complicated?” Topher asked.

Sam was speechless. Of all the things he imagined the truth might bring, this was last on the list.

“Sorry, I just don’t know what to say,” he said. “I thought for sure you were avoiding me the last couple days because you were upset—”

“I wasn’t avoiding you because I was angry, I was avoiding you because I was confused. It was a surprise finding out you were trans, but an even bigger surprise when I realized I was okay with it. I’ve always been attracted to girls, but there’s only one person I can say I’ve loved in that way… and that’s you. The world isn’t black and white, and the people who think it is are the ones who always screw things up. I don’t want to be one of those people. I just want to be happy, and nothing makes me happier than you. So what do you say? Can we try being gray together?”

“But what if it doesn’t work out?” Sam asked.

“Then it doesn’t work out,” Topher said with a shrug. “Even if we end up as just friends, I can’t imagine anything worse than not having you in my life. So, I’ll always be here for you, for whatever you need, whenever you need it. It’s as simple as that.”

Topher’s words brought tears to Sam’s eyes, but for the first time in as long as Sam could remember, they were tears of joy. Sam gave Topher the biggest hug physically possible.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to hear someone say that,” he said.

“Was that okay?” Topher asked. “I’ve been practicing that in my head all freaking day. I hope it didn’t come across as too cheesy or desperate because I really meant it.”

“No, it was perfect.” He laughed. “And nothing would make me happier than being gray with you.”

Topher and Sam were so wrapped up in their conversation they didn’t even notice Joey had snuck up beside them.

“Seems like you guys are in good spirits,” he said. “Hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

“Nope, we were just regrouping,” Topher said. “Care to join in? I’m so bored of not speaking to each other.”

“Absolutely,” Joey said. “I’ve missed you guys. This city is beautiful but it’s terrifying by yourself. Last night I went to see The Rocky Horror Picture Show and a transvestite drew Vs on my face and wrapped me in a boa.”

“That’s a lot more excitement than either of us have had,” Sam said. “I say we find Mo and do something fun together—it is our last night on the West Coast. We should make the most of it.”

“Does that mean we’re going to be okay?” Joey asked. “Are we going to stay friends after all?”

Topher sighed. “Who the hell knows,” he said. “But I’m willing to put as much effort into keeping us together as I possibly can. When we first started this trip, I was afraid it was the beginning of the end for us, but after all the shit we’ve been through this week, I’d say this trip has just cemented our friendship. Let’s be honest, no one else is ever going to believe any of this happened to us. We need to stay friends for the stories alone!”

“I couldn’t agree more.” Joey laughed. “You know, I was furious when Cash put our lives on blast like he did—but I’m glad I don’t have to lie to you guys anymore. I didn’t realize how much it was killing me to be dishonest.”

“Me too,” Sam said. “It’s nice not having barriers between us anymore. It sounds like we’ve all got long roads ahead, but at least we won’t be walking them alone.”

All three of their phones buzzed at the same exact time.

“It’s Mo,” Sam said. “She sent us a group text.”

“Come to my room, there’s been an emergency,” Joey read. “Oh shit!”

The three left the pier at once and ran to the Sea Glass Inn as fast as their legs would carry them. Mo’s hotel room door was ajar when they arrived and they found her inside sitting on the windowsill. Her face was bright red and tears were streaming down it.

“Oh my God,” Topher said. “Mo, are you okay?”

“Do I look okay?” she cried.

“What happened? What’s the emergency?” Sam asked.

“Our friendship is the emergency!” Mo declared. “We’ve never gone this long without speaking and I can’t take it anymore! Our friendship is the only positive thing in my life! If we aren’t going to be friends anymore then I might as well jump out this window!”

She dramatically opened the window behind her and an ocean breeze filled the room.