The Birthday List(48)

“Ready?” I took a huge step away from Cole and kept my focus on Adam as he spun on a boot heel and headed for the shop.

I could feel Cole’s stare on my back as we walked, but I didn’t turn. I just kept my eyes focused on the gravel and the shop, hoping that behind me Debbie wasn’t crying and Kyle wasn’t furious.

When we got to the shed, I took a spot by a row of toolboxes to stay out of the way as Kyle and Adam pulled a dusty tarp off of Jamie’s yellow truck.

The side panels were spotted with rust. The front bumper needed to be reattached because it was hanging loose on one side. And the front windshield was cracked in so many places it looked like a spider’s web.

But it was Jamie’s. Something he’d bought as a teenager and driven until college when he’d bought a nicer car.

“I still can’t believe Jamie didn’t take this to college.” Adam ran his hand along the yellow hood and smiled at me. “Remember how he said he’d never get a date to sit in here?”

I smiled back. “Well, considering the passenger seat is missing most of the cushion, I would have agreed.”

“No way.” Adam laughed. “You would have still dated him if he’d driven this old thing.”

Jamie could have driven me around town on the handlebars of a bicycle for all I would have cared. “You’re probably right.”

“Should we see if it still runs?”

“Oh, it’ll run.” Kyle walked over to the driver’s side of the truck. “I came out here a couple nights ago and made sure.” He ran his hand along the open window, like he was saying good-bye.

At my side, Debbie sniffled. “It will be strange not to come out here and see Jamie’s truck.”

A wave of doubt hit me hard. Maybe I shouldn’t take the truck. Maybe I should say to hell with that one item on Jamie’s list and let it go. Maybe Kyle and Debbie needed this truck in their shop more than I needed to check a box.

I was just about to relent when Adam slapped his hand on the hood. “Thanks for getting this finished up, Poppy. Jamie always wanted to have it done.”

He had. Jamie had talked about fixing it up all the time. We’d just never had the space and he’d never had the time. But now, I could see it through.

I had to see this through.

So I swallowed the lump in my throat and gave Adam a small smile. “Midnight blue. He always wanted it to be midnight blue.”

“And cream interior,” Kyle added as he opened the door.

I nodded. “And cream interior.”

The sound of Jamie’s truck filled the shop as Kyle started it up. As he drove it outside, we all followed behind as he steered it toward Cole’s trailer.

“I guess I could have just come and gotten it myself,” I told Cole as we walked. “Sorry.”

“No, it’s better this way. The last thing I want is for you to get stranded on the side of the road. The engine might run, but those tires won’t last another fifty miles.”

I didn’t know if that was true, but it made me feel better.

Cole jogged ahead, pulling out the ramps on the trailer so Kyle could ease the truck onto the flatbed. Then together, Cole, Kyle and Adam all chained it down.

“Thanks, Debbie. It was nice to see you.”

She nodded and forced a smile, then gave me a one-arm hug before turning and going back inside the house without a word.

I stared at the house, wishing there was something I could do to get an invitation inside. I stared at the house, knowing there wasn’t. So I turned back to the guys, standing alone and waiting for them to finish.

“Thank you,” I told Kyle as he and Adam came over.

Kyle nodded and looked back to the truck. “Take care of it.”

“I will.”

Then without a handshake, a hug, or even a good-bye, he went inside with Debbie. The click of the door’s latch echoed for miles.

“Bye, Poppy.” Adam waved at me, then Cole as he headed back to the shop. “Nice to meet you, Cole.”

Cole nodded but Adam had already turned his back to us, done with that job and on to the next.

I glanced at my watch before they blurred with tears. Twenty-nine minutes. I’d been dismissed after only twenty-nine minutes.

Jamie’s family didn’t have to say it—I’d heard it loud and clear.

Good-bye.

Kyle and Debbie wouldn’t be back to Bozeman to visit my restaurant. They wouldn’t be inviting me back to this ranch to spend holidays like I’d done so many times before. They wouldn’t be a part of my life.

Without a backward glance, I walked past Cole to his truck. “Let’s go.”

“You got it.” He didn’t hesitate to get us the hell off the ranch, driving in silence until we reached the highway. “Are you okay?”

“No.”

I wanted Jamie to be alive so he could fix up his own truck. To do his own birthday list. I wanted him to be here so his parents weren’t so heartbroken.

I wanted the ache in my chest to disappear. I wanted it to stop teasing me with reprieves, only to torture me with each return.

I want to be happy.

I couldn’t remember how it felt to be truly happy.

“Give me your hand.” Cole placed his hand, palm up, on the console between us.