The Birthday List(44)

The smile on my face faltered as I shook the man’s hand. He said something else to Cole, but I couldn’t hear it. The only thing in my ears was the word girlfriend in Cole’s deep voice.

“We’d better get going. See you around.” Cole nodded to the man, then placed his hand on the small of my back, steering me toward the door. “Asshole,” he muttered under his breath.

Too stunned to speak, I walked straight for the door, while that word just kept on ringing.

Girlfriend.

Was I his girlfriend? No, I couldn’t be his girlfriend. It was too soon. I was married. I was a wife. Wives weren’t girlfriends.

I couldn’t do that to Jamie.

“Poppy,” Cole opened the door to his truck for me when we got outside, “Helen has the restaurant covered tonight. You don’t have anything to worry about.”

I blinked at him but still didn’t have anything to say, so I climbed in his truck.

He thought I was worried about the restaurant. He had no idea the bomb he’d just dropped on me. That with one word, he’d erased all of the comfort and ease we’d found with each other these last few weeks.

That he’d just brought back a surge of crippling guilt.

A guilt that consumed me as we drove three hours in complete silence.

By the time Cole pulled into the lot to the theater, I was about ready to break. My head was throbbing and my stomach knotted. I was on the verge of jumping out of his truck and walking back to Bozeman just to prove that I was loyal to my husband.

My head was in such a state of turmoil, I barely noticed as Cole paid for our tickets, parked in an empty spot and slung a radio box over his window. What I did notice was his hand coming across the cab and carefully prying my fingers off my jeans.

“Poppy, look at me.”

I turned my neck and found his soft green eyes waiting. They were full of understanding. Of compassion. They made me want to cry just that much more.

“That guy in the restaurant is an asshole. I went to college with him, and the last thing I wanted was for him to hit on you or start coming to the restaurant on a regular basis because he thinks you’re available.”

“Okay.” I relaxed a bit, glad that at some point in the last three hours, Cole had guessed why I’d shut down.

“Someday, I’d like to call you my girlfriend and have you not go comatose, but I know we’re not there yet, so take a breath.”

I obeyed, holding his eyes as I let go of some tension.

“I know this, me, scares the shit out of you. I know you’ve been sitting there for three hours worrying yourself sick. But, Poppy,” he squeezed my hand, “this is just a movie.”

I felt my throat start to burn and my nose sting. “It’s not.” My feelings for Cole made this so much more than just a movie.

“It is. Tonight, it’s just a movie.” He laced his fingers with mine and turned to the screen.

I stared at his profile as the radio box filled the cab with sound.

Just a movie. What happened after the movie? What happened when it wasn’t just lunch or dinner or a movie? What happened when he wanted more?

Would I be ready?

I tore my eyes away from Cole’s handsome face and turned to the screen, blocking out the unspoken questions.

Tonight, it’s just a movie.

Except I never tried to take my hand away from Cole’s.

And he never let me go.





“Jimmy?” I tapped my knuckles on his doorframe.

“Hi.” He waved me in but kept his eyes on the television. “Come on in. The show’s on.”

I sighed, walking into his apartment and taking a seat on the couch. It had been over a month since the awful lunch with Kyle and Debbie at the restaurant, and all of my weekly visits to The Rainbow had been like this: me sitting on the couch while Jimmy watched television.

I’d apologized over and over again for not sharing Jamie’s birthday list with him, and Jimmy had promised it was fine. But the cold shoulder I’d been getting said otherwise.

Though his chilly attitude hadn’t stopped my weekly visits. Jimmy was one of the most important people in my life, and I’d sit through season after season of HBO recordings while I waited for him to thaw out.

“How is your weekend going?” I asked. “Anything fun planned for your Sunday evening?”

Jimmy didn’t look away from the screen. “So far so good. I think one of the neighbors is coming over later.”

“That’s nice.” I waited, hoping he’d pause the show—or something—but he just kept on watching. His hair was growing back in thick, white spikes, and he looked more like the Jimmy I’d met years ago. Except for the smile that was missing from his face.

I sank deeper into the couch, turning to the TV, but since I didn’t know anything about the show, it didn’t catch my interest.

It was the week after my movie date with Cole, and I’d come to visit Jimmy before meeting Kyle and Debbie later this afternoon. I’d called them a few days ago and asked if I could come and collect Jamie’s truck. Cole was taking me to get it from their ranch. He’d borrowed a trailer from a friend so we could haul the truck back to Bozeman and start fixing it up.

I hoped the month I’d waited since telling Kyle and Debbie that I wanted the truck had been enough time for them to adjust to the idea. Because a month was all the time I could wait. For Cole to even have a chance of getting the truck restored before the end of the year, I had to quit stalling.