Sheltered(26)

I want to understand Ryker, because without the whole crazy kidnapping thing, I like him. Really like him. And I damn well shouldn’t. I’ve never had an attraction to a man this fast before. Not even with Fritz. It had to build that up over time, but with Ryker it’s sudden and overwhelming. Instead of trying to make myself fall for him like I did with Fritz, I’m fighting everything in me that’s pulling me towards him. I’ve been letting myself get lost in these sweet moments he keeps creating. He’s pushing out the reality of what he’s done, and the lines are all pear-shaped.

“I have my reasons,” he says in that lazy, laidback tone he has. He says it like he doesn’t have a care in world and it’s all going according to his plan. You know, like felony kidnapping charges just don’t matter in the state of South Carolina.

“Care to enlighten me?” I challenge.

I don’t feel so timid with him now, and maybe it’s because of what we did in the peach orchard. Or maybe I’m starting to believe that he really won’t hurt me. Something deep inside of me believes it to be true. Even though I should probably question my own judgment when it comes to men. Worse, I feel like I’m allowed to lose it and won’t be scolded as if I’m a child for doing it. He’ll just let me have my fit and be okay with it.

“No.” And the one word is final.

I clench my jaw, getting angry. Fine, if he doesn't want to talk then neither do I.

I ignore him as we make our way into the barn. He helps me off Diamond, which I’m glad for because I’m still not one hundred percent comfortable doing it on my own. But I still maintain silence, pissed off he won’t answer me.

When I slide down the horse, he pulls me into his body. I feel his erection drag across my body and dig into my stomach when I’m on my feet. He groans at the contact, but I pull away. He doesn’t like that at all, because he pulls me back against him.

I open my mouth to say something sassy, but his lips land on mine and I lose my train of thought. The kiss is deep, and I think for a second my feet leave the ground. As he kisses me, and that hard length seems to grow impossibly bigger, I wonder if this time he’s going to get his turn to get off.

My body shudders with excitement at the idea. God, I shouldn't want it, but somehow the thought of him using me goes straight to my core and my thighs clench together in excitement. It’s like he knows these dark thoughts my mind craves. Desires I didn’t even know I had until he awoke them.

His kisses aren’t like anything I’ve ever felt before. I thought I’d been kissed, but I was so wrong. His does it like he’s starved for me, like he can’t get enough. His hands dig into my hair, pulling me even closer to him. I can’t help but moan into his mouth as his tongue makes love to mine.

His chest rumbles, sending a shiver racing though my body. When he pulls his mouth from mine we are both breathing heavily. My nipples are tight, and I can feel exactly how wet my panties are. Need pounds down on me once again like when we were in the peach orchard. How does he do this to me? I feel so out of control, and it’s intoxicating. I can let go and everything falls in his hands. At least this way I can claim I had no choice. There’s no thinking about tomorrow or what comes next. All I have to do is enjoy the moment and not push for the future.

But that’s not how life works. I let go of him, realizing that I’d wrapped my arms around his neck. I take a step back from him and drop my arms. He closes his eyes for a moment before releasing me completely.

I turn around to pet Diamond, mad at myself for kissing him back. I’m supposed to be ignoring him. But just as confusion and frustration take hold, his arm wraps around me and pulls my back to his front. The warmth of him melts me, and damn it, I love the way it feels.

“You can’t ignore me forever,” he whispers in my ear before kissing the place under it sweetly and letting me go.

Challenge accepted.

He starts putting the horses away and I wonder if I should help him. I decide it’s best to stay away from Ryker, because when he’s close I can’t think straight. I wander through the barn, looking around a bit. I peek into some stalls, thinking there might be a phone or something.

I freeze when an older man enters the barn, and all the blood leaves my face. My eyes lock with Johnny’s, and his soften when they meet mine. He slides his hands into his pockets and I shake my head. A humorless laugh leaves me, and I feel tears form.

“No one’s looking for me,” I say to myself, confirming my thoughts from earlier.

I walk past Johnny, unable to look at him, and he calls out my name. I keep walking, even though I have no idea where I’m going. I walk in the direction of the house since it’s my only real option. When a hand slides into mine I know it’s Ryker’s without having to look.

“I will always look for you, Cricket.”

I fight back tears as we get in the Gator and ride back to the house. I’m not sure if I want to cry because I feel like I’m alone, or because I’m not alone anymore, because if I’m honest, Fritz and I were never really a real him and I.

The reality of it all is, before Ryker no one would have cared. It’s clear Fritz didn’t. I still don’t understand what we had. The way Ryker acts with me makes me question it even more. Now my relationship with Fritz feels more like friends who kissed on occasion.

I thought I was in love with Fritz, but the things Ryker made me feel are on a whole new level, and I haven’t even been around him long.