Sheltered(31)

But when I was losing my grip on that fence post and thinking I was going to die, I wanted nothing more than to be back in bed in Ryker’s arms. I knew he’d come if I was in danger, and I knew he’d care if I was gone from this earth. I just had to hold on long enough for him to find me.

Regret hits me hard in that moment. When I saw him come rushing after me with no care for himself, I knew I was stupid to not only endanger my life, but his. I could have lost him in that flood, and it’s weighing on my shoulders.

He risked his own life for mine, because he was willing to follow me to death. I’d never known someone in my whole life who would do that for me, and here I am trying to run away from it. I’ve always done what I thought I should be doing, and maybe I should try something different for a change. I should do what I really want to, and not what I think is right. My decisions in life so far haven’t really panned out, so what could it hurt? Why not try to let someone in who is willing to lay down their life for mine? Why not open my heart just a little to this strange man who seems to want me? I’ve been fighting for everything in my life for so long, and I’m ready to give in.

I let my lips graze his neck, and I hear his quick intake of breath. His hold on me tightens even more, and I do it again. This time, though, I pause and open my mouth to let the warmth of my tongue get a taste of him.

“Cricket.” He says my name with a low rumble in his chest, but he doesn’t tell me to stop. Not that I thought he would.

He sits me down on the bathroom counter and I glance over to see Lily standing in the doorway. My face heats as I wonder if she saw me kiss Ryker’s neck. It wasn't even hours ago I told her he kidnapped me.

“Let me know when the doctor gets here. And have him wait outside the door.” Lily nods to Ryker, but before she leaves she stares me down. She sends me a sharp look as if to tell me I screwed up and that I better not do that again.

When she walks out of the room, Ryker’s hands roam all over my body. He strips away my clothes, checking my arms carefully, then my legs, not caring that I’m a dirty mess.

“I’m fine,” I tell him, but he doesn't listen. He strips me bare, looking for signs of wounds or broken bones. “I don’t need a doctor. I’m just cold,” I try again.

He walks over to the shower and turns it on. Steam immediately rises from the hot water, and my aching muscles begin to relax.

I can see the tension all along Ryker’s body as he moves back towards me. I lick my lips when I suddenly realize I'm completely naked in front of him. I was so cold I didn’t even notice it when the freezing clothes were peeled off me. I’m chilled all the way to the bone. But even now that I’m clearly not wearing a stitch, and he’s coming towards me, I don’t have the urge to cover up. Something about almost dying and then being rescued by my own personal knight in shining armor seems to have taken away my nerves.

But he’s not looking at me with leering eyes. There’s a tenderness there, mixed with fear. I can see the worry furrowing his eyebrows and the lines of tension around his mouth. He cups my face with his big hands before resting his forehead on mine.

“I’m sorry,” he says, and his voice is filled with so much emotion. “I should have taken better care of you. I won’t mess up again.”

I look up at him in shock that he’s blaming himself for this. If anything, I feel terrible for causing him so much fear and unease. He could have died because of me, and now he’s trying to take responsibility for me almost getting myself killed. This could have ended so tragically for the both of us, but thanks to him we’re safe.

When I stop and think about it, I guess he did kidnap me, but I should have turned back when I saw the first strike of lightning. I’m terrified of storms, and I tried to run away in one. God, I’m an idiot. Instead of going back, all I did was put more distance between me and the house, making it so much worse. I don’t know what I was thinking. When I saw that first strike, all I thought about was getting back to Ryker, but that only pushed my legs to move faster. My brain was telling me one thing and my heart another. Even when I managed to get Diamond out of the barn, she was urging me back inside. She knew better than I did. The storm started as we left the barn, and the rain began to pour down so fast. After that, she wouldn’t go past the tree line. I could see the creek up ahead, but it didn’t look that deep to me. I thought I could somehow wade through it and make it across. But before I could even blink it was rushing in and up to my waist. I lost my footing, and all I had to grab on to was a nearby post. I keep thinking what would have happened if Ryker hadn’t shown up and saved me, and I don’t want to imagine it.

I place my hands on his chest and feel his strong heartbeat under my palm. I close my eyes and inhale his scent as the warm steam wraps around us. His strength and power make me feel safe and wanted. And in this moment, I allow my own heart to beat with his and let it lead this moment. No more thinking with my head. This time, I’m just going to feel.

He places a soft kiss on my forehead, followed by both cheeks. He’s kissing me slowly as if reassuring himself that I’m all right.

“I’m sorry, too,” I admit. “I didn't mean to put you in danger.” Even if Ryker did kidnap me and bring me here, he’s done nothing to hurt me. All he’s done is try to keep me safe and happy. When was the last time I had that? Ever?