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“Julia. Wake up.”

I was in such a deep sleep—finally—it took me a moment to surface and realize my sister was standing over me. Her hand was on my shoulder, gently shaking me awake. My eyes snapped into focus, and I quickly sat up.

I was so glad to see her, but then I was scared. “What’s wrong? What’s going on?” She never came into my room anymore. I knew it was because she was uncomfortable. In keeping with Liv’s new status, her mother had had us switch bedrooms this summer—my old bedroom had been the bigger one with the better view. Now it was Liv’s. I didn’t blame her, though. It hadn’t been her decision. She could have it. We wouldn’t be here too much longer anyway. I smiled indulgently, having missed spending time with my little sister. It was only a bedroom, I told myself.

“No. Nothing, nothing. It’s okay. I didn’t mean to scare you. I just came to say hi.” Liv perched on the side of my bed, blocking the clock, dragging a finger along the white blanket. The blackout shades were drawn, but she was fully dressed, giving me the feeling I’d slept in and it was afternoon.

“What time is it?” I sounded like a frog, so I cleared my throat. My mouth felt like an ashtray. Liv remained where she was. It felt like we hadn’t been this physically close in months. Reluctantly, it seemed, she stood up and walked over to the shades. Disappointed, I realized this interaction would still have the tinge of awkwardness.

“It’s ten. Do you mind?”

“Go ahead.”

She stood up and slapped at the panel on the side of the wall. The shades retracted and an expansive view of Lake Austin appeared, but I had seen it a million times. I took in my sister instead.

Liv could have been from my dreams. She was so beautiful. Like me, Liv had my dad’s blue eyes, but that was the extent of any similarity between us. She had high cheekbones that set off the small, perfect features of her heart-shaped face. Her thick, long hair almost matched her skin tone. Tall and willowy at five ten, she somehow also had curves. I wasn’t used to it yet. She had been a late bloomer, and it had happened so fast over the course of this summer, just as she turned sixteen. It felt strange to live with someone your whole life, and then suddenly need to adjust to their physical appearance every time you saw them.

“So, what’s up?” I felt self-conscious in my tank top, and smelling like cigarettes. And I was sure my hair was a mess. I didn’t like being surprised.

“What’d you guys do last night?” Liv asked, then wandered over to where my guitar sat in a corner and picked it up. Help yourself, I thought, mildly annoyed. Liv tuned the already perfectly tuned guitar while pretending she wasn’t listening intently for my answer.

“Nothing. The usual,” I said.

“What’s the usual?” she asked.

“Just hanging around. I don’t know. Why?” There was an edge in my voice. Had she heard something? Why was she suddenly so fascinated by what the Lost Kids and I were doing?

“No, I just—you guys make it seem like you’re always off having so much fun.”

She had to be kidding. She made it sound like we’d turned a negative into a positive. That we weren’t dying for the training they were getting, that we weren’t just looking for things to do, biding our time.

“Trust me, we aren’t.” Liv glanced up at my sharp reminder.

“You all seem close, like a secret club.”

Maybe the Lost Kids and I tried to pretend we were the cool ones, but Liv couldn’t seriously envy a group of rejects forced into humiliatingly typical teenage rebellion.

I tried changing the subject. “Hey, how was your first soccer practice yesterday?”

“Fine,” Liv said shortly, clearly not wanting to talk about it. I could tell she was frustrated. Liv was good at soccer, but she wasn’t nearly as good as I’d been. I knew that must kill my stepmother. I wondered if being compared with me ever bothered Liv.

Liv wouldn’t look at me, I realized. I heard her heart rate accelerate, which was highly unusual for any of us. So now we were getting to the real reason she was here.

“What are you doing today?”

“I’m not sure. Why? What are you doing? Is Dad home?” I suddenly sat up straighter.

“No, I don’t know,” Liv said quickly. “I was wondering….You’re probably going with that group to swim at Barton Springs?”

“What?” I felt like I wasn’t getting what she was saying.

“Angus. You know?” That instantly got my attention. I nodded warily. “He texted me about it,” she said.

Many things were strange and wrong about this—mostly, why in the world would Angus be texting my little sister? I didn’t like that at all. Also, our two groups didn’t mix, and we definitely didn’t go out in groups to public places. All those outsiders. All that noise. And most of all, the exposure. What was Angus up to? The risk-taking was escalating. A nod was all I could manage. “Can you hold on for a second?” The lift of her eyebrows indicated, Of course.

Attempting to look nonchalant, I let the sheet fall away and swung my legs over the side of my king-size bed, grabbed my phone, and bolted to the bathroom and dressing area. Closing the door behind me, I tried to calm my nerves in the soothing darkness, focusing on the cool marble beneath my feet. A rash was spreading up the insides of my arms. With the back of my hand, I turned on the lights, bringing the bathroom to life.

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