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Now that there was room on the blanket, I shifted so I could see Angus. He was looking at the water, momentarily lost in thought. I concentrated hard on maintaining a neutral expression so he wouldn’t have the satisfaction of knowing I was hurt.

From the intensity I’d felt in the air between them, it struck me that maybe Angus had spent the whole summer getting even closer to me in order to gain access to Liv.

That sudden realization made my stomach hurt. As if on cue, the sun broke through the trees and blazed onto my side and legs. Suddenly I wasn’t able to keep the noise from the water, the groups of people all around me, and the intensity of the stares at bay. I needed to process what had happened seconds before Angus sat down. I felt the tingle on my arms. The rash was about to appear. I didn’t know where I planned to go, but I made a move to stand up.

“Hey! Hey.” Angus’s voice suddenly gentled, and he grasped my wrist to pull me back down next to him. “Julia, it’s going to be okay. Shhhhh. Breathe.” He knew. He was the only person who understood what I was feeling and that I needed a release. As much as I hated myself for it, I let myself be soothed by him because it would work. When I let Angus hold me, I had the distinct sense the person behind me was reacting to the sight of Angus touching me. He didn’t like it.

As angry as he could make me, I had never been able to distance myself from Angus for long. He changed when he was around me. With his friends, he was the alpha dog whose moods were unpredictable. When he wasn’t playing mind games, he was outright taunting them into the next dare. But with me, when he wasn’t teasing and flirting, he was kind. I have to admit I loved it because I thought maybe he understood how hard my situation was in my family. He knew why I’d showed him the tricks. It was just one way to secretly be special in a family that said you couldn’t be. He’d wanted what I had so badly. I’d had no idea he’d be smart enough and talented enough to take it to a new level, using his own body for practice.

Angus examined me to see if I had pulled it together, and then his attention moved on again. He looked back at the water, searching for Liv. Without glancing at me he said, “Are you okay?”

“Why did you want to come here today, of all places?” I asked, my whisper so soft, I knew only Angus could hear. Too many confusing things were happening. It was rare for me to feel so out of control. I realized Angus must feel it too, but it was feeding him, giving him some kind of thrill.

Angus spoke softly, taking my cue. “What? You don’t like big groups of people?”

“No. Why would I?”

Angus shrugged. “I like watching them. You should too. There are well over seven billion of them, and they’re the ones in charge.”

“I think you like the chaos,” I said.

“I don’t know. They’re pretty predictable in their stupidity.” Angus suddenly changed the subject. “I heard your dad is back in the country. Do you know where he was?”

I shook my head. The whole point of Relocation was no one knowing where we were going. It minimized the risk and enabled us to start fresh someplace where no outsiders knew who we were, where it would hopefully take another twenty years before there was too much suspicion of our abilities, like there was now in Austin.

“I hear it’s going to be different this time.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, squinting at him.

“Like, not just changing identities and location. Not just removing this shit.” Angus held up an arm, referring to his tattoos.

“But how else would we do it?”

“I don’t know.” Angus sounded pissed. “Maybe Novak tells them.” He looked over at Liv’s group of friends and gave them a dead-eyed stare.

Roger, one of the Lost Kids, interrupted us. He felt free to saunter over now that Liv was absent, and he started ribbing Angus about her in spite of my presence, which was doubly insulting. I thought the boys had assumed Angus and I were together.

“Shut up,” said Angus simply and seriously enough that Roger backed off immediately.

“Hey, we’re going in.” Roger stalked off, duly chastened and out of favor.

Angus made the move to stand up and leave me. I could sense he was antsy, and also feeling protective of Liv, who was in the water alone. My answer was to lash out.

Forever, I’d look back and wonder why, after all the years of mastering my emotions, I’d lost control so easily. I wanted to scare Liv away from Angus. I wanted to tempt him away with something I thought would trump his feelings for her. I wanted to hurt Liv for growing up and becoming like the rest of them.

But what if Roger had stayed, or what if Liv hadn’t gone to Barton Springs that day and jealousy hadn’t gotten the best of me? What if I’d left moments before instead of sitting back down? So many things could have changed the course of what happened next. One question turned my life upside down.

“Angus?”

He raised his eyebrows, as if to say, What now?

“Have you ever tried to drown?”





It was like you could see the wheels turning in Angus’s head. Then he wordlessly descended the hill to the water.

For a moment I felt nothing except self-satisfaction. Angus would choose the dare over Liv. That’s where his focus would go for the rest of the afternoon while she stood by, disgusted.

I took off my tank top and lay back on the blanket, feeling like I’d put everything back in order.