Reign the Earth (The Elementae #1)(4)

I grabbed Cora’s hands as soon as Mother turned away. Cora was married, and more than that, she lived in Jitra and knew more ways of the world. “What if he doesn’t want me?” I whispered to her. “What if he doesn’t lust for me?”

She laughed, and she held my palms open and stroked her fingers over them. “You?” she said. “You are the most lovely clanswoman alive. Why do you think he chose you?”

Because of Rian. Because of Father.

“Everyone speaks of your beauty. The wild desert rose,” she told me. She laughed and lowered her voice. “And often they say very foul things about what they would like to do to a beauty like you. So trust me, you incite lust.”

My cheeks flamed. “Oh.”

“Oh, indeed,” she told me, and kissed my hands. “Make him happy, little flower, but take a little happiness for yourself as well.”

“Happiness?” said another cousin. “You’ll be a queen. You’ll have jewels and gold—you’ll live in the City of Three and everyone will love you! How could you not be happy?”

I tried to smile, but another cousin grabbed my hands. “And the clothes!” she said. “They’re scandalous, but you’ll look so beautiful people will riot in the streets.”

“And no one ever goes hungry there,” said another girl.

My mother came back in, and her quick eyes brushed over my cousins. “Cora,” she said. “Take the others and go fetch some food. It won’t do to have Shalia faint right off the ledge, will it?”

“No, aunt,” Cora said, bending her head to her. “We’ll be right back.”

The girls tittered and laughed as they filed out of the room, beaming back at me.

My mother drew a breath and came forward to me, taking my hands. “You’re shaking,” she said, meeting my eyes.

“I’m nervous,” I whispered.

She smiled, smoothing my hair back. “You haven’t been yet. You seemed so calm when we first spoke about your marriage.”

I nodded. “I know.”

“What are you afraid of, my little flower?”

I looked down at the ground.

“Tell me, Shalia,” she said, pulling me down onto a bench.

“It just seemed so simple before—I would marry someone anyway; why shouldn’t it be this foreign king? Especially if it stops our people from being murdered.”

My mother’s hands tightened on me, and I cursed my words. I had lost a brother when Torrin died, but she had lost a son.

“I don’t want to leave everyone,” I admitted in a hushed voice. “I don’t want to leave you.” My hands gripped hers painfully tight. “I feel like such a coward,” I told her.

She wrapped her arms around me, my cowardice hidden in my mother’s arms. “I know what we’ve asked you to do, my love. You are giving up your family and the desert, but you’re making a brave choice for us. You are doing what your brothers, with all their swords and valor, can never accomplish—you are bringing us peace, and life, and safety.”

I held her tight, not wanting to tell her that I would give it all up if it meant I could stay a child one day longer. If it meant Kata and I could swim on in the lake forever, and I would always be surrounded by my clan.

“I don’t know how to be a queen,” I protested.

She petted my hair. “Don’t be silly, my love. You know exactly how to be queen.”

I shook my head.

“Just look to us, Shalia. This new country, they will be your family now. You will teach them as you’ve taught Catryn and Gavan. You will support them as you do Aiden and Cael. Sometimes, you must even chide them as you do Kairos.” She sighed with a smile. “And hopefully they’ll listen to you, unlike him. You are your father’s daughter, my love, and you can’t help but lead.”

I sniffed, pulling back to look at her. “I’d rather be like you,” I told her softly. “You would never hesitate to do something that would save the clan, no matter the cost to you.”

Her mouth trembled a little, and she gave a soft laugh. “I hesitate all the time, my love. You will stumble, just as I have. But you will persevere. You are a daughter of the desert and your feet—and heart—will never fail you.”

She took me into her arms again until my tears were finished.


My cheeks were barely dry before my father came into the room. He kissed my mother gently and came to me, taking my hands.

For the first time in my life, I didn’t want to meet his eyes, scared he would see my indecision, my confusion, my fear.

“You look beautiful, daughter,” he said to me. “I never thought I would see the day when you became a wife. How can you have seventeen years already?”

I sniffed, and my father tugged my chin up so he could see my eyes, desperately holding back tears. His face changed, filling with worry that looked strange on his warrior’s impassive scowl.

“You’re frightened?” he asked.

Taking a deep breath, I nodded slowly.

He tucked me against him. “You don’t have to marry. You can stay with me all your days,” he told me, soft into my ear. “I won’t mind.”

A little laugh jumped out of me at the idea, so close to my own thoughts a moment ago. But I thought of my mother’s words, my brothers’ lives, my clan’s safety, and resolve twisted around my spine, making me strong. “No. I want to marry him.”