Reign the Earth (The Elementae #1)(10)

He shrugged. “Didn’t feel much like dancing.”

“Even with that pretty Tri Princess?” I asked.

He gave a wry laugh that I didn’t quite understand. “She’s not for me, Shy.”

I sighed. “You’re so picky. You can have your choice of women; you always could.”

His shoulders lifted. “There are many people who you’ll care about in your life, little sister. But there will only be one who moves the heavens and stars for you. And that’s what I’m looking for. What we all deserve. And I haven’t found that yet. But I’ll know it when I do.”

I tipped my head back to take in the stars, thinking of all our ancestors who lived up there. “What we all deserve—except me, you mean.”

I looked to him and his eyes met mine, but he didn’t move. Thinking. Trying to double back on his words. “You could love him. You only just met him.”

“How long do you think it takes?” I asked. “Until you know you’re in love?”

He laughed. “I’m not sure there’s a standard measure.”

Could I ever love my husband so much? Did I even know how?

He sighed again, putting his arm around my shoulders and squeezing. He kissed my temple and whispered, “None of us knows what fate has in store, little sister. There’s love for you yet.”

I leaned against him, nodding.

“Besides,” he told me, “I’m going to find a way to come with you.”

My heart leaped, but the thrill faded fast. “You can’t,” I said. “You’re needed here.”

“No, I’m not. I’m not the strongest brother, or the oldest, and I have no desire to marry anytime soon.”

“Father will want you for his Shadow,” I said.

Kairos lifted a shoulder. “If Father wants me as his clever little spy, I won’t say no. But even if that’s my destiny, I will learn a great deal more in the arms of the Trifectate than in the desert.”

A shadow swooped by us, and I heard Osmost call out a warning scream.

Kairos grinned wolfishly. “And Osmost thinks the Tri City has rats for him to hunt.”

I shook my head. “Father asked if he could send attendants with me. The king said no.”

He waved this away. “You’ll see,” Kairos said. “I’ll figure out a way to be there. To protect you.”

My mouth opened, with the same protest I’d had for years with five older brothers—I don’t need to be protected. But despite my brave words, tomorrow was full of everything unknown and all I wanted was to feel a tiny bit as safe as I had my entire life.

“I hope so,” I told him with a sigh. “I should find my husband.”

He nodded to me, and I went inside.

Calix met my eyes across the hall, but he didn’t have a chance to come to me. My family swarmed around me, all the women fluttering cloths of light blue, hiding me from the men. They huddled me out of the hall like a secret and took me to the rooms we had been given.

They started to take my threads off my neck, then open my robes, and I pulled away. “Stop, stop, please,” I begged, and Cora caught my hands.

She met my eyes. “Women have much to fear in a world like ours, cousin. But the bedroom is yours to rule.”

She pulled at my robes then, and tears gathered in my eyes as they took my clothes, pushing me into the prepared bed with soft blankets and many pillows. They lit wax candles all around the chamber as I clung to the bedding, trying not to cry.

My mother touched my hand, and I jumped. She smiled gently. “I know it’s frightening,” she told me. “But soon it will be wondrous, the most loving, intimate act two people can share with each other.”

I nodded at her, but at that moment, I didn’t believe her. Cora and a few of my other cousins kissed my face and my hands, and then they were gone.

The room was warm with so much fire, but I was shivering. It wasn’t long until I heard the noise of men climbing the stairs.

I watched in terror as the door swung open and my husband was pushed inside before the door shut sharply.

He looked at me for many moments. “You’re making the sheets tremble,” he said.

I clutched them harder.

He came closer to me. The men had pulled at his clothing so it was askew, but still on his body. He sat on the bed, and I refused to let myself move away from him.

He drew a slow breath and didn’t touch me. “You’re nervous,” he said softly.

I wanted to tell him that “nervous” utterly failed to describe the feelings inside me, but words didn’t come out of my mouth.

His eyes rose and looked at me, and I blinked, staring back. “You’re young by any measure, and close to ten years younger than me. Tonight will be painful. I wish that weren’t so, but it is.”

I hugged my knees, willing myself not to cry.

“Do you know why I wanted this marriage?” he asked.

I looked at him, shaking my head a tiny bit.

“My people need peace,” he said softly. “And hope. And I think that settling things with the desert will help, but having a queen, having children—it will show my people that we are not meant for war now. We are for family and peace.”

His eyes watched me, and I thought I needed to respond somehow, but I didn’t know what to say.