Reckless Abandon(92)

“I am missing you like crazy, Luke.” I brush the tears from my face and look up at his name. “You’d hate these tears.” I laugh a little. “Oh, well. You never did understand how Leah and I got so emotional over things. Guess that’s just girls for ya.” Wiping my nose on my sleeve, I stand and wrap the blanket around my shoulders.

“I’m leaving some of daddy’s taffy here for you. I know its silly, but whatever.” I place the bag next to the headstone and pick up my thermos, not before placing a kiss on the hard, cold granite.

“I miss you little brother.”

I stay at the cemetery for another hour just staring at the headstone and running my fingers inside the etched lettering of Luke Robert Paige. My thoughts and feelings that have played throughout the last eleven months are so heavy on my head, I can’t leave.

By the time I get in my car it’s close to one in the afternoon. I drive home as slow as possible, driving through my old neighbourhood and passing all the places Leah, Luke, and I used to frequent as kids. Our school, the local McDonald’s, old lady Crandel’s house where she would yell at us for playing on her lawn, and Jenny Fowler’s house that had a chicken coop in the back. I pass the old music store that is now a Chinese takeout and the old Blockbuster that has been turned into a Party City. We were here every Friday night. Dad loves movies so we took turns on who could pick out the movie for the week. Going out to pick out the movie was part of the excitement.

Pulling into my parent’s driveway, I see the tree house in the backyard. When the car is in park, I get out and stare at it for a moment. There were a lot of great memories in that tree house. Maybe Leah and Adam will have kids soon and they can come here and make some new memories.

I feel my face smiling.

Yeah, kids around here would be great.





“I’m getting marrriieeedddd!”

I am having a serious case of déjà vu right now.

My mouth is dry and I know when I speak I’ll have man-voice.

“Get up, get up, get up! I’m getting marrriieeedddd!” Leah is bouncing on my bed, and the entire thing squeaks and shakes.

“Dear, Lord, woman. As if anyone could forget.” I throw myself back under the covers and put my head back in the darkness.

Leah pulls the blanket down and off my entire body. I reach for the pillow and place it over my head. I try to hit her as if I’m hitting the snooze button on an alarm clock.

“Ten more minutes,” I mumble from under the pillow.

“Fine, I’m coming back in ten with a glass of ice water,” she threatens and the thought wakes me up. I have no doubt she is telling the truth.

She leaves the room and I slowly start to roll out of bed by placing one foot on the floor. I’m not used to waking up at the crack of dawn. Alexander gets up this early and then gives me soft kisses before leaving the apartment.

Ugh, Alexander Asher.

He still hasn’t called.

I haven’t called him, either for that matter.

If he isn’t done thinking soon then I’ll give him something to think about and it won’t be pretty.

Placing another foot on the floor, I roll the pillow off my face and look up at the ceiling, adjusting my eyes to the bright light that Leah turned on. I look at the clock and see it’s six in the morning. Hair and makeup people are coming at eight so everyone has to be showered and in their Spanx by then. Since mom and dad only have one full bathroom in the house, it could take a while.

The ceremony isn’t until noon but Leah wants to take pictures before then. Then of course, there are more pictures after and the reception starts at three. Leah and Adam even have an after party planned at McConaughey’s.

Man, this is going to be a long day.

I walk over to my drawer and pull out my undergarments for the day. I hear the shower running so I have to wait my turn. My dress from last night’s rehearsal dinner is resting on the rocking chair in the corner of the room. My parents hosted the party here at the house.

I spent a good portion of the evening retelling the same story.

No, I don’t play the violin anymore.

Yes, I moved to New York City.

No, it’s not just like Sex and the City” (At least for me, its not.)

Yes, I am working at a school.

Yes, I am seeing someone.

No, he is not coming to the wedding.

My grandmother was the most probing. She wanted to know about the “young man I’ve been seeing.” I assured her he’s thirty-two years old and has a full-time job. Never married, no kids . . . you know, the typical things grandmas want to know.

“Well, if he’s such a catch, why hasn’t he been snatched up yet?” she asked.

Because he has serious trust and abandonment issues.

But I didn’t tell her that.

Needless to say, last night was mentally exhausting but not unbearable.

I am gathering my toiletries from my bag when I look up to see Leah walk into my room with a glass of ice water in her hands and look disappointed because I am up and getting ready for my shower. She turns on her heel and exits the room.

I knew she wasn’t bluffing.



Leah and Adam’s wedding is absolutely stunning and completely romantic. Standing by her side in my crimson chiffon dress, I cried during the service because those two romantic fools wrote their own vows and if you didn’t believe in love, just watching Leah and Adam would have you writing sonnets to the first person you saw.