Real Men Knit(39)

“I’m such an idiot. I should have listened to Damian. It’s not too late, you know? He’s right—we can just sell and everyone can start over. It was foolish and selfish of me to think that I could do it. To think this highly of myself was ridiculous in the first place.”

“What’s selfish is talking like this now. And don’t get me going on this thinking-highly talk. Didn’t you just tell me in the kitchen you weren’t letting anything stop you? Not even Damian?” She didn’t mean for her voice to come out as harshly as it did and didn’t know it had until his head snapped her way and his eyes narrowed. Kerry tried to soften the blow by sitting by his side and covering his hand with her own. Something else she hadn’t quite planned on. But it just felt like the thing to do at the time.

Still, it distracted him enough to stop his tears and get him arguing, which was safer ground as far as she was concerned.

“Can’t you tell bullshit when you hear it? And how am I being selfish by being honest? It’s more like I’m finally thinking practically.” He let out a sigh and looked at her, his eyes taking on their usual softness now, though she sensed a slight bit of that guarded thing he thought he did so well. “Look, I know originally I thought what I was doing was for the best. So much so that you thought it too.” He sighed once again and put down the shoe. “But I can’t have you put your life on hold like that. Not for me.” He stroked her hand, and the unexpected sizzle that zapped up her arm had Kerry instinctively pulling back. His tears, the shoe and the iron were immediately forgotten, fear of her own emotions replacing his.

“You’re right,” she said, giving him a bit of a shove and getting up, then taking the iron from the ironing board and marching toward the doorway. “Are you so full of yourself that you think I’d put so much of myself aside and give this much of my time and energy just for the likes of you?”

His slight wince let her know that maybe her words were too hard, but she wouldn’t feel bad for them. He had nerve, and his ego needed a check.

“Well then, go! I’m telling you that you can go!”

She started down the hall back to Damian’s room, then turned back to him, surprised to find him not far behind.

“It wasn’t like I needed your permission to stay in the first place. And it’s not like I’m staying for you.” She let out a breath, not sure in that moment why she really let it get that heated. Kerry lowered her voice. “Look. I’m not staying for you. That part is true. Not just for you. Though, yes, you can use my help, but it’s also true that you would be fine or close enough to getting by without me. I’m doing this to help you flourish and because I still believe in the shop. I don’t want to see it close. I believe in what Mama Joy built here over all these years. Almost as much as it was for you, this place was like home for me too.”

Without her thinking, that damned errant hand came out once again and was now stroking his arm. Damn, he was way too easy to touch. She pulled back. “Didn’t you have dishes to finish? And I have a shirt to iron.”





11




Kerry didn’t have time to wallow in the embarrassment or the emotions of the conversation with Jesse because, just as she was finishing unplugging the iron and slipping into her blouse, Damian showed up.

Deep in thought, she didn’t hear him come in over the sound of Jesse washing dishes, or maybe it was the sound of her brain stuck flipping over in hyperdrive about the conversation they’d just had back in Mama Joy’s room. It was good she’d gotten him back on track, but it was just barely, at that. And really, he was almost too much to take. Talk about thinking he was all that. She couldn’t with Jesse Strong, even if she wanted to at times. She paused midway through pulling on her blouse and thought of how he’d looked at her. For a moment in the midst of his desperation, she thought she had seen a hint of desire, but maybe she was wrong. Maybe she had only imagined it, or wanted to imagine it. But that was the last thing she should want or want to imagine. Shit. Kerry sighed. More likely than not it was just Jesse being Jesse. His usual way. She could call it flirty, but it kind of wasn’t. She knew that now. Still, the touch of his hand was so powerful, so electric, she couldn’t help but jump back as if shocked, and that shock, that immediate response, it damned well did make her angry. Just as much as his egotistical words.

Kerry looked over at her phone. Crap. Why hadn’t she heard back from her landlord yet about the state of her building? Staying here much longer would definitely be detrimental to their relationship and her nerves. And lately her nerves had had enough—Mama Joy, the shop, her place . . . it was just one unnerving moment after another.

“Sorry. If I thought my bedroom would be occupied, I would have knocked first.”

Kerry quickly spun around. The arrogant voice at the doorway as she buttoned the last button on her top let her know that there was no respite on the horizon for said nerves.

She glared at Damian, both pissed and embarrassed over having been potentially caught with her pants down. The embarrassment left little room for her to feel any type of way about being in his space. “Seriously, Damian, didn’t Jesse tell you I was in here?”

“He didn’t,” he said with an arrogant smirk. “And, well, it’s not like I actually asked him. When I saw him in the kitchen washing dishes, I just assumed he must have been cleaning up after his company from last night. Or maybe she’d either just left or was still in his bedroom. How was I supposed to know the reason for his domesticity would be you, Kerry Girl?”