Real Men Knit(35)

Okay, Jes, get a grip, he told himself. At this point he may actually be reverting back to middle school. So what if she was standing here braless? It wasn’t like he’d never seen a breast before. He’s seen plenty of breasts in his day. Big, small, that just right middle size that fit perfectly when you . . . Jesse paused and mentally kicked himself in the head. A mental dropkick, because nothing less would do.

This was Kerry. Kerry was not a woman who he needed to associate with breasts. Jesse stilled over the stupidity of his statement and looked at her. Her this time—not her body, but her. She looked adorable standing there tired and damp, but still like Kerry, trying to act like she was fine. He saw the strain and wear the night had put on her when she looked at him now, though, with clear tiredness in her big brown eyes. And then he spotted something else as her eyes shifted and she rubbed at her arms.

“Uh, listen,” he said, “if you’re uncomfortable here, I can take you somewhere else. You want to call Val? Or you can go to a hotel. I can try and get you a room?”

She gave him a skeptical look that edged on insulting.

“In a nice place,” he added. “Damn. You over here looking at me like I’m suggesting something that goes by the hour.”

She smiled. It was small, but it was still a smile. “I wasn’t looking at you like anything,” she said. “And why should I be uncomfortable here? This place is like a second home, and you guys are like family. Thanks for bringing me.”

She looked around again. “Listen, it’s late and I don’t want to hold you up. If you just direct me to a blanket, I’ll be fine on the couch. You can go to bed or back to doing what you were doing.”

The family comment didn’t sit quite right, and confusion swirled around Jesse’s mind until her meaning clicked. The looking around, her being uncomfortable. He took a step toward her. “And just what do you think I’d have to go back to doing?” he asked.

Kerry raised her chin and looked at him defiantly. “I don’t know. It’s the middle of the night, so that’s your business. I just don’t want to be a third wheel and end up messing up your plans.”

Jesse growled. “You know, you really can be presumptuous to the point of just past cute, and I think you’ve reached that point.”

She crossed her arms and frowned. Jesse told himself to keep his eyes up where they belonged. He was mad at her anyway.

Kerry shrugged. “I don’t know. I mean Erika or anyone could be over. And just how am I being presumptuous? I’m only going by past experiences.”

“One freaking woman on one freaking morning.”

She shrugged again. “One that I know about.”

Jesse stared at her, insulted but also confused by the whole argument. He waved his hand with a flourish. “Well, Mom, would you care to inspect the place? Do a bed check?”

Kerry’s glare was cutting. “We both know I’m not your mother,” she said, but then her eyes went immediately wide as soon as the words were out of her mouth.

Jesse took another step forward so that they were only inches apart. “Well then, stop acting like it. I’ve had two in my life already and they are both dead. Trust and believe I’m not taking on anyone else to fill that role.”

Kerry closed those wide eyes but still Jesse could see the hurt on her face mixed with anger and some despair, but when she looked back at him he was surprised to see a resignation that pierced him more than her anger ever could. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been all up in your business, Jes. It’s late and you’re being nothing but nice to me.”

He sighed. “Erika being here was just a thing that happened.” Perfect, he was not only thinking like a middle schooler but sounding like one too. No wonder she was treating him like a kid.

Kerry nodded, then yawned. “Well, I guess things do happen. Just like I happened to get kicked out of my place tonight. Thank you. I’m sorry I’m being such a pain in the ass when what I should be is grateful.”

“Don’t mention it. And it is late. Come on and let’s get Ms. Grateful a place to sleep tonight. The couch won’t do, because we both have plenty of work ahead in the morning.”

Jesse led her out of the living room and down the hall. For a moment, he paused in front of Mama Joy’s room, then a second later thought better of it.

Not there. He couldn’t have her sleep there. The thought of putting Kerry in that room, or anyone for that matter, wasn’t something he could emotionally deal with. Sure, he and his brothers would have to face it, and probably one day soon, but not now he wouldn’t. Not tonight.

He turned right and headed toward his brothers’ rooms. On this floor were his and Damian’s rooms, along with Mama Joy’s, and one flight up was the space shared by Lucas and Noah. Honestly, with the way his ridiculous mind was going, it was probably best to put her up in Lucas and Noah’s space. But that was just that. Stupid. He was a grown man and could keep his thoughts and his hands separate, plus Lucas was home way too often to put her up in his room. So Damian’s it was. Though he was a stickler on top of having a stick up his ass, his room was the obvious ready choice. It was by far the neatest, and he didn’t often sleep there. Right now, it was just an oversized uptown closet for his particular ass. If he didn’t like it, too bad. Besides, Jesse reasoned, he probably wouldn’t even know about it since by the time he might notice, Kerry would surely be back in her own apartment.