Real Men Knit(44)

“Roomie”? Oh hell!

Kerry shook his arm off. “Don’t worry about me,” she said, quickly backing away. “You’ve got plenty to keep you busy here, and I can take care of my things myself.”

“Well, I’m heading that way,” Val said. “I can go with you and give you a hand before I hit the gym.”

Kerry looked her way with sharp eyes. As if she was hitting the gym. She knew for a fact that Val’s membership had expired five months ago. But unlike her friend, Kerry would not be blowing up her spot, at least not today. Instead she just raised her brow. “I think you may have helped enough. Thanks.”

Val grinned. “No need to thank me. You’re my girl. That’s what friends are for.”

Oh really? Right now, she wanted to pop this particular friend one right in her big mouth.

She mentally groaned. Just a month ago she had thought she had a plan, or at least that things were halfway set and stable, but now . . . She sighed. Now it all felt shaky. Mama Joy was gone. Her mom was gone too, though just a few hours away, but still, she was not there, and Kerry was left as the keeper of their small but still valuable apartment. This whole displacement situation just didn’t sit right with her. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust their landlord, but trust and foolishness were two different things when it came to rent-controlled apartments in New York. She couldn’t lose their place. She’d seen too many long-standing neighborhood families moved out of their apartments and rents hiked up to triple, sometimes quadruple the rates for less than what she was being moved out for. She had to be sure this was just a temporary thing. For all she knew, she could be gone, and her landlord could end up Airbnb-ing her place and she wouldn’t be the wiser.

Kerry shuddered at the thought of Swedish tourists sleeping in her bed, going through her under-sink cabinet and, oh God, her night table. “I can walk with you guys too if you’d like. I was just gonna head to the gym, but I’ve got time. Maybe I can help find out the status of things for you,” Lucas said.

Oh God, no! Lucas seeing what she had in her nightstand drawer. No way!

“You’re a regular Fire Scout,” Kerry said, then immediately felt bad because he was only trying to help and indeed was helping. She didn’t have any reason to give him anything but gratitude.

“You mean Boy Scout? And no, that club wasn’t for the likes of me,” Lucas retorted.

“I’m sorry. It’s just been a long twenty-four hours. I really should be thankful.”

“You don’t need to be sorry, Kerry Girl, and you don’t need to be thankful.” Kerry was stilled by the surprising hint of steel in his voice. She looked into his dark eyes and saw how serious he was.

She nodded. “Okay, I won’t,” she said. “Still, you really don’t have to come with us. I don’t want to put you out any more than I already have and you can at least let me be thankful for that. Also, I don’t have that much to pack, so I can take a car back. Don’t worry,” she added, taking in his frown. “I’ve got this.” Kerry added a smile that she hoped was reassuring but felt the strain on the ends of it and knew she had failed terribly.

She looked at the three brothers, all so different but, in that way that family is, surprisingly similar. She could see the good in them. And Jesse did have valid points about the commute—compared to staying in an outer borough, she knew it would make her life so much easier, all things considered.

She glanced at him, and he smiled. It came so naturally, almost too naturally, and screw her foolish heart but it thumped, thumped, thumped harder and brighter in her chest as if it were waiting for him to wake it up. She hated her responses to his cues, his gestures, his every little quirk. It was fine when she was a teenager, but dammit, she should be well over it by now.

Jesse wasn’t the only man in her life. It wasn’t like she’d been crazy enough to think he cared about her or that she should somehow save herself for him. But still, after all this time, he was the only man in her heart, and here she was so many years later hanging on. Still an interloper in this family that wasn’t quite hers.

She didn’t have the right. They were going through so much with their current state of family upheaval, and now here she was interjecting herself into this already turbulent situation. She looked at Jesse. “I know you don’t want to hear it, but I’m sorry for being an intrusion, and thank you.”

Jesse sighed, just as Damian suddenly shouted out, “Oh, enough. Stop apologizing, and cut it with saying ‘thank you’ already. You sure know how to beat shit into the ground, Kerry Girl.”

Heat rose quickly up her neck, straight to her ears. “Excuse me for trying to be polite even during my crisis.” Freaking Damian, being an ass. But where was the surprise in that?

He held up his hand. “Shouldn’t you get going?” he said. “That text implied it was time sensitive, so you’d better go and get your stuff while you can.”

Kerry blinked. Wait, was he really relenting? Like, out loud?

“I suggest you get moving quick,” he said, and sealed his declaration of relenting by waving his hand as if shooing away an annoying child. Damian now looked at Jesse. “And you, we need to talk more about your plans and how you intend to get the shop reopened as fast as possible. Because no money coming in means just that—no money coming in. I know you have remodeling plans, but you have to keep them in check. This is not just for you to run away with. We won’t be able to keep this space on dreams and wishes. Taxes are due soon, and who knows what else will come up. You need to keep that in mind.”