Queenie(51)

“I can’t believe I’m finally seeing your tits,” Ted panted.

“And did you think it would happen in the work toilets?” I asked, using humor to give me some distance from what was happening. If I didn’t want this, why was I letting it happen? Surely I wanted this?

He lifted up my skirt and pulled my tights down to my knees as he continued to stare a little too intensely into my eyes. With two fingers he began to knead at me through my knickers. “I love that. I love feeling you. Do you like it?” he asked.

“Sure.” I nodded, undoing his belt, deciding that I wanted it to happen but also to be over quickly. I slipped my hand into his jeans and his boxers, grabbing his erection.

“You’re so big!” I said truthfully, for the second time in my life. I was shocked; I had him down as a man with a very small, very narrow penis.

“You like that?” he asked, moving my knickers to the side and inserting a finger into me.

“I want to fuck you,” he said between greedy kisses. “Turn around, bend over.” I shook my head. He picked up his coat and laid it out on the floor. I lowered myself onto it awkwardly, not an easy or glamorous move when your tights are around your knees. He unzipped his jeans, pulled out his erection, and stared at me as I looked up at him from the floor.

“You’re so beautiful. Look at your beautiful brown skin,” he said; and before I could say anything about his “compliment,” Ted knelt and pulled my knickers and tights down to my ankles, giving me frog’s legs as he lay on top of me and tried to enter me.

“It’s probably not going to, hold on, I’m just not really warmed up and you’re really big and, just wait a se—” I tried to say.

“It’s okay, why don’t I just—” Ted spat onto his hand and wiped it between my legs.

“I’ve only ever seen that in porn,” I joked again uneasily as he eased himself into me, his spit allowing for entry. He thrust into me once.

“We should use protect—” I started.

“Oh, fuck,” he whispered in my ear. Three more and he was done. His entire body sagged and he lay panting as I stared up at the gray polystyrene ceiling tiles. He lifted his head up from my shoulder and kissed me on the mouth.

“Sorry, that was disappointing,” he said. “That’s not how I imagined our first time would be.” Ted stood, pulling his boxers up and buttoning his jeans. “I should go before anyone comes.”

He bent down and kissed me on the forehead quickly.

“The only person who came was you,” I said to his back as he ran out of the loo.

THE CORGIS

Queenie

I just had sex with Tweed Glasses in the work toilets



Darcy

Bloody hell, Queenie. Is this because we didn’t send you any memes?



Kyazike

You must have been REALLY bored, fam



Queenie

He was in the office and I tried to get on with work but he is so, so persuasive and obviously there’s been so much sexual tension between us in the last few months, so it all just came to a very explosive head and we got carried away. And now I feel like I probably, definitely should not have done that



Kyazike

Was it good?



Queenie

It was fine



Kyazike

Fine?



Kyazike

What happened?



Kyazike

He couldn’t get it up, innit? Or he bussed quick? Which one??



Queenie

The latter, BUT I think it’s because of the context? Excitement?, the fear of getting caught?



Darcy

Well, I’m glad you didn’t get caught



Cassandra

I’m breaking my no phone over the holidays rule to say TWO things. One: gross. Two: do not expect to hear from him again.



Queenie

You can psychoanalyze all you want, he’s not like that, Cassandra. This might all be a bit fragmented and messy, but I think he cares





chapter


FOURTEEN


WHY ARE PEOPLE always complaining about the dead period between Christmas and New Year’s? It’s complete bliss. Rupert and Nell have gone to their respective family homes for the break, so I have the house to myself.

Mainly I’ve been walking around in my knickers with the heating turned up, but the main joy is that I’ve been able to clean up after them. I don’t know how two people can generate so much mess, or how the cleaner puts up with it. I’ve never had a cleaner before, but is she the one to dispose of Nell’s used sanitary towels that she forgets to wrap up or pick up when she throws them in the bin and misses? It must be a cultural thing.

That these days all merge into one is wonderful. I’ve watched every good, medium, and bad film on telly, I’ve exhausted Netflix, my sleeping pattern has reversed so severely that I haven’t really seen daylight, and my appetite has returned enough for me to have been able to bake a tray of brownies and eat the whole thing with a fork (when I eventually found the baking tray under Rupert’s bed). The sleep has been doing me some good, although I have been going a bit mad with so much time to do nothing but think. Ted seems to have gone quiet. Maybe he needs space. I know that our beginnings aren’t exactly fairy-tale, but what if we worked well together? His intensity and passion would be a lot to get used to, and even though the sex wasn’t great, it would probably be better in a bed. And what would I say to Tom when he wanted to make things work again? Maybe it’s a good thing Ted’s gone a bit quiet.