One Baby Daddy (Dating by Numbers #3)(76)

“Of course.”

“If I can . . . you know, find closure, do you think it’s possible you’d be open to trying this again?”

“You mean try dating again?”

Try this again . . .

It’s something I say out of pure desperation to not make her feel so fucking awful, but do I really mean it? If I’m honest, not really, and what kind of a dick does that make me?

A massive one.

But fuck, I was her third date in this program. Third date. I know this is going to be a blow to her self-confidence, and I don’t want that to happen. She’s such an amazing woman, and I don’t want my inability to get over Adalyn to be a setback for her. She’s looking for love, and she deserves it.

“I’m not sure, Hayden . . .”

At least she’s smart enough to read the hollowness in my question. It’s why she’s going to succeed, why she’s going to find someone to love. While I lose again.

Once again, I open the door to an empty apartment, toss my keys on the side table in the entryway, and click the door locked behind me. What a long fucking night.

I spend ten minutes getting ready for bed running through my routine, stretching my achy muscles and putting some Deep Blue on the sore spots.

Flopping onto my mattress, I pull the sheets over my lower naked half and scroll through my phone, checking out highlights from the game, listening to commentators, studying some of the videos, and responding to some texts. One from my dad congratulating me on the game, wishing he was there. Tell me about it. A few from my brothers complimenting my “wicked” slap shot, one from my mom telling me she loves me, and one from Calder telling me I looked fat on the ice tonight.

I chuckle from his text, missing his friendship.

There are a few guys I’ve started to get to know on the team, but I still feel new, like I’m imposing on their territory. It doesn’t help that the media is blowing up my trade, making it seem like a godsend to the Quakes, that I’m going to “save” the organization.

Think about it.

If you were on a team and this newbie comes around surrounded by hype, putting down your previous seasons, wouldn’t you be a little resentful? Fuck, I would be. Because these guys work hard, they work incredibly hard, and it almost seems like the media is forgetting that.

Opening my email, I take a few seconds to scroll through the messages, not bothering to open any from my publicist or agent. I’m about to close out when one of the subject lines catches my attention.

Hayden, this is Adalyn’s friend, Emma.

Emma? What the hell is she doing emailing me?

Wait . . . is Adalyn okay?

My body fires up, heating with concern. I open the email immediately.

If this isn’t Hayden Holmes, I’m sorry. If this goes straight to Hayden’s publicist, I beg for you to send it to him. Don’t be a dick like you were to Adalyn in NYC.

My jaw clenches. Fucking James. Why didn’t Adalyn say anything about that?

Hayden, I’m sorry to bother you, but I felt the need to email you. First of all, everything is okay, no need to freak out. I wanted to let you know that I looked up your schedule, and you’re going to be in NYC for a game against the Stallions in a couple of weeks. I know it’s a bit of a drive and I have no idea what your free time is like, but if you could spare some time, you really should visit Adalyn.

I’m not going to go into detail, but I HIGHLY suggest you come visit. If anything, just to say hey.

I hope you get this. I hope it’s okay that I emailed you. And just to reiterate, everything is okay, just a short visit would be totally cool. Okay, I’m going to go.

Good luck with the season and I hope you’re doing well.

Emma

Could she be any more evasive? I read the email a few more times, trying to read past the lack of information, looking for any clue as to what she might be talking about.

Why would she want me to visit Adalyn? Especially if nothing is wrong?

There has to be something wrong or else Emma never would have emailed me. Maybe there is something wrong, but it’s nothing urgent.

Does Adalyn need help? Did she have another run-in with Logan? I swear to God if this has to deal with Logan, I’m going to lose my fucking shit.

I’m tempted to write back to Emma, to ask her what’s going on, but I stop myself. She said to pay Adalyn a visit, but can I even make that happen?

I pull up my schedule for when I’m in New York City. It would be almost a four-hour drive to Binghamton from the city, but a quick flight. I can probably get a private jet to take me there. I have time after an afternoon game, and then I can take a different flight than the team to Chicago after that.

Mulling over my decision, I try to consider if it’s worth it? At this point, I don’t think I have a choice because I need closure. She doesn’t want me, and I need to let her go. If I don’t visit Adalyn, I don’t think I’ll ever get the balance back in my life.

And fuck do I need my balance, because I feel like my sanity is hanging on by a thread.

Looks like I’ll be making another trip to Binghamton.

What a fucking shitty loss.

It’s been two hours since I left the ice, took a shower, and jetted to Binghamton. Coach wasn’t too thrilled about me taking a separate flight, but I lied and said it was a family matter. At this point, I feel pretty comfortable with the fact that the Quakes aren’t about to ship me to another team.