Nate(45)

They were there to make me feel miserable.

It didn’t work.

Not this time. Holy moly, not this time.

Nate didn’t let anything happen. He said his piece, waited, saw that he didn’t get through to her, and decided not to waste his time.

My body was throbbing. I wanted him. Badly.

I was aching because I couldn’t go there. I wouldn’t be able to handle a fuck from him. I knew it. I just knew it. This man, he was too much for me. Too hard. Too sexy. Too demanding. Too commanding. Too, just too. He could become an addiction that I’d never come back from.

I couldn’t do that because of Nova.

The thought of her was like a cold shower hitting me, and the lust that he’d ignited was doused to a slow, smoldering fire. The embers were still going but just barely. They were smoking, but this way, they weren’t inflamed. I wouldn’t do anything that I’d regret in the morning.

He started the engine and pulled away from the curb. “You okay?”

My stomach let out a loud grumble, and I laughed. My hand covered it. “Yeah. I’m...I’m good.” I turned to him, a new appreciation brimming in me. “Thank you for that.”

He pressed his mouth tight. “That girl wasted my night. I’m pissed about that.”

Another growl from my stomach.

He threw me a slight grin. “Let’s have dinner before heading back. We’re already out. Emily is watching Nova. Let’s take advantage of the night.”

A sensation zinged through me, setting my insides awake and excited. I was trying to tell myself not to look into that comment, but I recognized the butterflies in my stomach for what they were. They were starting, and the few times they’d started fluttering before, I was already past the point of cutting someone off. The feelings were already in there and rooted.

This was so not a good idea, but I sighed. “That sounds like a good plan.”

Dinner, that is.

My feelings, not a good plan.

One meal wasn’t going to hurt at this point.





*



I was wrong. One meal hurt, a lot.

It was Keela, and that was the first moment I knew something was off.

Keela was expensive and exclusive. The clientele was wealthy and famous.

I loved Keela. I loved loved it.

It’d been kept for special events, so I’d only been there a few times. And part of that reason was because it was confidential. When you showed up, you called ahead. They waved you in using a few different entryways. We didn’t have paparazzi in Seattle, but there were gossip bloggers who sometimes hung out in the coffee places nearby, just to keep an eye out for who might be going to Keela. I never cared. No one in my family or life was famous. Principal dancers didn’t get a lot of attention in the mainstream media. That suited me.

They had us drive in using a back alley that dipped into a basement garage. That was new.

The greeter met us at the door wearing a professional smile with our menu already in hand. We were also greeted with two glasses of champagne.

“Mr. Monson.” The waiter nodded his head briefly to us.

Nate reached, taking my hand in his.

My pulse kick-started at the contact. I knew I should pull away, but when he laced our fingers, that died down. I couldn’t.

I didn’t want to stop touching him.

I only wanted more.

The inside of Keela was a fairy botanical garden. Trees. Lights. Actual birds. They had a whole fountain and a small river that ran through the restaurant as well. The sounds of trickling water soothed me as if somehow reaffirming the romantic notions I was starting to get regarding Nate.

Nate Monson.

I needed to remember his full name. It gave me a degree of separation.

Nova’s father.

That stung a little bit.

Valerie’s baby daddy.

There was a full knot forming.

Valerie. He had a relationship with Valerie, my half-sister, not me.

I was here because of Valerie.

I was an interloper. I was the outsider.

I almost stumbled when those thoughts hit me at full blast, reminding me that I was only here because of a piece of paper. Valerie gave me Nova, which must’ve been on a whim. It had to be.

I didn’t deserve to be here.

Gah.

I didn’t deserve to even have Nova, to even be in Nova’s life.

No.

I gritted my teeth, a selfish wave riding through me, firming my spine almost literally.

I did deserve to be here. I did deserve to have Nova in my life, and if the only reason was because of Valerie’s whim, then so be it. I was too selfish to step back.

I needed Nova, not the other way around.

Nova would be loved by anyone, possibly everyone, but I needed her. Me.

She was saving me. I wasn’t saving her.

Was that a fair thing to do to a little girl? Use her to save me? Give me purpose?

Dancing had been my purpose, but if I was being honest, dancing had been my escape from Duke. Always had been. It was the one thing he allowed me to keep in my life, and I persevered. I went to the top.

Then Nova came, and the world had meaning for the first time. Dancing had been my path until Nova happened.

“You look like you’re having deep thoughts.”

We’d arrived at our private alcove. We had the corner of the river running around us, trees blocking our view from others in the restaurant, but I could hear the glasses and silverware scraping over the plates. It was slight, but there. The murmur of conversation was almost soothing as well.