Munmun(90)

I walked to his bedroom doorway and blocked it with my naked body.

YOUR STAFF CAN MAKE MORE COWS BUT I WILL EAT THEM, I told Mark.

“HAHA OKAY, I BET YOU WILL, NOW HOW DO I KNOW YOU,” wondered Mark as he got up.

YOU KNOW ME FROM DREAMWORLD, I told him.

“OKAY, CAN I GET PAST PLEASE,” he asked.

NO, I said.

“OKAY WELL LOOK, UH, FRIEND,” he said, getting a little snappy, “I JUST SLEPT SIXHOURS, I’M VERY DEHYDRATED, LOWBLOODSUGAR, YOU KNOW HOW IT IS.”

WELL, YOU HAVE A PROBLEM, I told him. BECAUSE NOW I AM THE ONE WHO DRINKS YOUR WATER AND EATS YOUR FOOD.

I watched him begin to realize he had a problem.

He tried to push me out of the way, put his big hand on my way bigger chest.

With lightningspeed I grabbed his wrist, twisted it, threw him down like a ragdoll, heard one of his knees smash into the tile like a gunshot, back in the kitchen the quake bowled his staff over.

“HAAAHHH,” he gasped and sobbed.

I stood over him patiently, waited for what was next.

Took him a while even to talk, he just moaned and stared with fear and hate at the young bruisy monster who outscaled him by atleast thirtyfeet.

Meanwhile behind me the staff was buzzing around like crazy, had some guns and bombs readytogo but didn’t know whether to use them.

“STAFF,” croaked Mark finally, “GET THIS FUCKING INTRUDER OUT OF MY HOUSE, LIKE WITH FORCE IF YOU HAVE TO.”

STAFF, WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENS IF YOU ATTACK ME, I said, ANSWER, I ATTACK YOU TOO.

I watched them with my huge eyes, you fearfull babybrats will do nothing, I know cowards when I see them.

ANYWAY I’M BIGGER, RICHER, IN NEED OF A STAFF MYSELF, SO HOWABOUT YOU WORK FOR ME, I suggested.

The staff stared back at me.

Then they started glancing at each other.

Then a thousand bickerings broke out among them, What Do You Think, on the otherhand How Dare You, but thenagain What Choice Do We Have.

Some were loyal nomatterwhat, others were super excited to betray, most though were just trying to figure out who was leaving and who was staying, where will I get the highest promotion, all kinds of tricky ugly chessmoves, it kind of broke my heart to see.

Meanwhile I ate the other cows and drank the bowls of water. Mark tried to rush me when he thought I wasn’t looking but I knocked him to the ground again, gentler this time but firm, also I guess not that gentle, I did break his nose.

Under the blood his face was toady gray and sick, he knew he had no power, was trying to make tools out of words but his hungry thirsty brain didn’t have the patience, it really doesn’t take long for a bigrich body to freak out and shut down.

“DO YOU WANT MUNMUNS, PART OF MY COMPANY, WHAT DO YOU WANT, OHMYGOD I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE,” he blurted.

ALL I WANT, I said, IS ALL YOUR FOOD AND WATER.

“OKAY WELL HERESTHETHING, UH, IT’S IN THE BASEMENT, ALL THE FOOD AND WATER IS IN THE SERVICEBASEMENT, I’LL SHOW YOU, JUST OPEN THAT TRAPDOOR AND STEP DOWN IN THERE, DONTWORRY I’LL FOLLOW YOU,” he yelled.

NNNNNNNOPE, I said, picking cowskin out of my teeth.

“PLEASE,” he sobbed. “PLEASE, I’M DYING. I’M ACTUALLY DYING, MAN. I’M SO HUNGRY AND THIRSTY. I CAN BARELY TALK.”

NOPE, I said.

“WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS,” he cried.

KINGKONG GOD, I explained.

“WHAT DOES THAT MEAN,” he sniveled.

IT MEANS I EAT YOUR FOOD AND DRINK YOUR WATER, I explained.

I watched him hiccup angry sobs, the guy has not felt these feelings in a long long time.

OK GUESSWHAT, I announced finally.

But he refused to guesswhat.

YOU CAN HAVE SOME FOOD AND WATER I DECIDED, I told him.

He glared and sniffled, thought I was messing with him still, and look, he wasn’t wrong.

IT HAS TO BE YOUR NEIGHBOR’S THOUGH, I explained.

So we walked to Bill’s castle, through a window we saw the old guy watching news, hey that young fellow on the screen looks familiar, shaky footage of naked ropey me staggering in from the ocean.

“Little is known about the mysterious wealthy giant who emerged today from the sea,” I heard a stern anchor explain, “government records do not exist and he is thought to be either foreign or of nonhospital birth, like littlepoor or perhaps to some religious crazies in the forest.”

“BILL,” called Mark through the window, Bill didn’t hear him though, that guy is super into the news and also deaf.

“Look at this bold young munmaker,” cried a newspanelist, replaying vids of me dripping all over everything, “the discovery of a new bigrich is always cause for celebration, a new jobcreator for our needy city, I certainly hope the localgovernment is prepared to welcome this behemoth with openarms.”

“BILL BILL BILL. HEY BILL,” said Mark a little louder, freaking out from hunger.

“Can’t the bank make an exception and release this guy’s basic info, atleast tell us who he is, I mean we have no idea where he’s from or how he got so rich, what if he’s a terrorist forexample,” complained another panelist, uhoh, flashing screentext told us she was ALLEY THE COMPLAINER.

“Boooooo,” screamed the live studioaudience of the news.

“There goes Alley again, always complaining about the bank, trying to question our most essential privacy protections,” groaned first panelist.