Million Love Songs(81)

Joe makes a monster pile of toast and we all sit at the table tucking into it – poor Tom wincing every time it touches his lip. If it wasn’t for what had gone before, this would be quite a pleasant interlude. I look around the table and think that I’d very much like to be a part of this family. Joe is such a strong and stable presence that he makes me feel safe and I can’t say that I’ve felt like that before. The kids seem more accepting of me and, while I wouldn’t have wished this to happen in a million years, it has helped to form some sort of tentative bond between me and Tom. At least, I hope so. When he needed me, I was there for him. I’m optimistic that counts for something.

Then Joe notices that the kids are both yawning, heads drooping towards the table. ‘Time for bed, you two,’ he says.

‘Can I have a shower first, Dad?’ Tom asks. ‘I feel horrible.’

‘Yeah. Do you need any help?’

Tom shakes his head. ‘I can manage.’

Pushing away from the table, I say, ‘I should be going.’

‘You can’t drive now.’ Joe grabs my hand. ‘It’s late and you must be as tired as the rest of us. Stay.’

‘Are you sure?’ He doesn’t say as much, but he’s probably intending that one of us takes the sofa. Right at this very moment, even that seems preferable to getting in my car. My eyes are barely open. I’d need matchsticks if I was going to try and drive.

‘Stay,’ Daisy urges. ‘Dad says we don’t have to go to school tomorrow.’

Joe picks up the last piece of toast. ‘What time’s your shift?’

‘Not until late afternoon.’

‘I’ll make you a cooked breakfast to thank you for looking after my boy.’

I smile at him. ‘That’s definitely swayed me.’

‘Good. That’s settled.’

Daisy gives me a hug and I kiss her goodnight. Tom, all awkward again, kisses my cheek. ‘Thanks, Ruby,’ he mumbles.

‘You’re welcome.’

Joe flicks a thumb after them. ‘I’ll just go and see them both into bed. Won’t be long.’

So I make myself useful and tidy up the kitchen. Despite being bone tired, I get a flutter of anticipation of what the night might bring while I’m stacking the dishwasher.

Finally, he comes back into the kitchen and he looks grey with exhaustion. For the first time this evening, Joe and I are left alone.

‘Are they OK?’

‘Daisy’s already asleep and Tom had another good cry. It’s going to take a while for him to get over this. It’s a shock to the system. Plus it makes him realise that he’s not as tough and as streetwise as he thinks he is. Poor lad.’ He sighs at me. ‘I’m sorry, Ruby. I didn’t really imagine our first night together to be quite like this.’

‘Don’t apologise. I can sleep on the sofa,’ I tell him. ‘We don’t have to …’

He comes to take me in his arms. ‘I think we do,’ he murmurs against my neck. ‘It would be the perfect distraction and there’s a big, comfy, double bed waiting for us upstairs.’

‘That does sound like bliss.’

So he takes me by the hand and I follow him up to his bedroom. I feel a bit strange being here and can see that the decoration has been chosen by Gina with the choice of duck-egg-blue wallpaper and matching bed linen. Yet I try not to think of her and Joe in here together.

‘Thanks for all you did for Tom tonight,’ he says. ‘It means a lot.’

‘Not a problem. I’m just sorry that something like that had to happen. It can be a horrible world now. He’s learned a harsh lesson by being in the wrong place at the wrong time.’

‘Yeah. I’ll read him the riot act another day for leaving the house when I told him not to. But he’s home and he’s safe. That’s all that matters.’

‘Have you heard from Gina?’

Joe shakes his head. ‘No. I left a message on her phone. I hope she rings Tom first thing in the morning. He’s hurting. Maybe she’s got a poor signal where they are. They’ve gone to Devon or Cornwall for the weekend or somewhere. I can’t remember what she said. This country though, at least.’ He rolls his eyes. ‘I’ve never known anyone to need so many romantic mini-breaks. And all I’m offering you is a night of passion in downtown Milton Keynes.’

That breaks the ice and we both laugh. ‘I think I can cope with that.’

Then Joe take me in his arms and kisses me. All thought of the last few hours, the ex-wife and the fact that I don’t even have a toothbrush with me, fly out of my head and it’s just us, here and now.

He takes me to bed and makes love to me slowly and tenderly. I feel so emotional and exhausted that, afterwards, tears roll down my face. Joe wipes them away and holds me tightly against his chest until my crying subsides. Then we settle to go to sleep with him spooned around me and the sound of his steady breath against my hair.

Before I finally surrender to sleep, I think briefly of Mason Soames and how very different this is. With Joe, I realise that I actually feel loved – or something that comes very close to it. Surely no one can make me feel like this without meaning it. He snuggles in closer and I lose myself in the weight of his embrace.