Midnight Sun(39)

I keep running and running. The sky is turning from a deep violet to a pale blue. I’m never going to make it home before the sun is up, but I still have to try. For me. For my dad. For Morgan. For Charlie, who’s never going to forgive himself once he finds out why I’m so panicked even though he did absolutely nothing wrong. Even though my bad decisions are what led to all this.

Gravel spews up behind me in the parking lot. Charlie pulls up in his truck and rolls down the window. “Katie, you’re scaring me. What the hell is going on?”

I jump into the passenger seat. “Just go!” I scream.

Charlie guns the engine. The truck flies down the road, faster, faster. But no mode of transportation barring time travel could beat the sun now, especially not this old junker. The first hint of sunlight is cresting over the hill behind us. Crepuscular rays—those lines of light little kids always draw around the sun—stream forth from the fiery yellow star. I’ve never seen anything so beautiful or terrifying in my whole life.

“You have to get me home, Charlie,” I beg, even though I know he’s doing everything possible. The absolute best he can.

He floors it. The truck lurches ahead. But it’s just not going to be enough to save me.

We screech up to my house a few minutes later. I open the door before we’ve even skidded to a stop. I tumble out of the passenger seat and go sprinting for my house.

The sun is rising above the hills now, rays piercing through the trees in my yard. I feel them, warm on my skin. My arms. My face. I’m fully exposed. I feel warm, then burning hot. I am on fire.

I pound on the door, but my dad doesn’t come. I fumble for my key and finally get it into the lock. I throw open the front door and shoot inside. It slams behind me as I fall to the ground, trembling and crying. The only thing I can do now is pray I haven’t caused myself irreparable damage. It’s still possible.

Anything’s possible, right? Maybe all that will happen is I get a bad sunburn and a big fat lecture from my dad. Miracles happen.

Charlie’s pounding on the other side of the door. “Can you just talk to me, Katie?”

But I can’t. How could I? What would I say?

Charlie keeps knocking and calling my name.

I run upstairs to get away from it. From him. I’ve ruined everything. Everything. Nothing can ever be okay again.

From my room, I peer out the window. Charlie still hasn’t left. My dad’s car squeals up to the curb. He slams the door, looking like he’s seen a thousand and one ghosts. Like he’s aged a million years in a single night. Morgan is with him. Even though she’s mad at me, she’s with him.

I’d do anything to take back the pain I’ve caused everyone. To myself. I’ve never felt so alone in my life.

“Is she in there?” I can hear my dad screaming. He has Charlie by the shoulders and is shaking him, as if that can rewind time. “Is she inside?”

Dad bursts through the door before Charlie can answer. Outside, Morgan is still yelling at Charlie. “How could you let this happen?”

“Let what happen?” Charlie yells back. He looks like a bewildered little boy, running his hands through his hair until it stands on end every which way.

The sad truth of the situation finally dawns on Morgan. And on me. “She never told you? She swore to us that she did!”

“Told me what?” Charlie looks pale and shaken.

Here it comes. The words that will change everything. The words I should’ve said to him myself.

“She’s sick, Charlie. Katie’s sick,” Morgan tells him.

“What are you talking about?”

“She has a disease. XP. She can’t be in the sun at all,” Morgan explains. “It could kill her.”

She runs inside after my dad, leaving Charlie standing all alone. On the outside looking in. Trying to digest the worst news possible.

I’m not who he thought I was. Not by a long shot.





19

“I’m so, so sorry.” I’m saying it to Morgan, but it’s for my dad, too. It’s the first thing I’ve said since they found me in my room. I was silent when they asked me if I was okay, I was silent as they handed me clothes for going outside, I was silent the whole car ride over.

Because what could I say?

After so many years of being responsible and safe, after finally convincing my dad I could take care of myself, it turns out I couldn’t.

I lied to my dad and Morgan. I lied to Charlie. But my silence also came from the crushing realization that I’d been lying to myself, too.

“It’s okay,” Morgan says. I guess having a near-death experience makes people forgive you really fast.

“No, Morgan, I’m really sorry.” She grabs my hand and I know that she understands that I mean I’m not just sorry for making her worry but that I’m also sorry for everything I said to her.

“We love you more than anything, Peanut,” my dad tells me.

It makes me feel even worse that they’re not mad at me. That they’re just worried and sad and spent. It’s all my fault.

The three of us are sitting in stiff plastic chairs in the hospital waiting room where Dr. Fleming has an office. I’m completely exhausted, though I’m not sure at this point whether it’s more emotional or physical.

My face is burning up. My arms feel like they’re engulfed in flames. Morgan assures me this is how normal people feel after a few too many hours in the sun. But I’m not so sure. It feels ominous.