Midnight Sun(38)

“Okay, this one’s called freestyle,” he says, showing me how to reach out and draw my arm back to move forward. “It’s, like, the most basic stroke of them all.”

I give it a go but end up flailing around instead of gliding through the water like Charlie did. “Like this?” I ask him.

He laughs. “That is what we call the doggie paddle.”

“Fine, then,” I say. “Show me another one.”

He launches into another demonstration. “Okay, for this one you push your palms backward along your hips at the end of the pull. That’s the butterfly.”

All I know is that Charlie’s running his hands down the sides of my body is making me want to get out of the water, start a fire, wrap up in a blanket with him, and make “someday” today. But I haven’t accomplished my goal yet, so I force myself to concentrate on the task at hand.

“That one’s too hard! Next!”

“Next is the breast stroke,” Charlie tells me.

“Is this a trick?”

“No,” he says, gathering me close to him. “Okay, maybe.”

I wrap my arms around his neck and smile up at him. “See? This isn’t so bad. You don’t actually hate the water.”

He gives me the best look ever, like he’s drowning in my eyes. “I don’t hate anything when I’m with you.”

I stare back at him. I believe in him and everything he says. The stars wink down at us, like they’re blessing our union.

His lips find mine and we kiss like we’ve spent our whole lives starving for each other. I cannot get enough of Charlie Reed and I absolutely know the feeling is mutual. The heat gets hotter. It’s like we can’t possibly get close enough, but then we do.





18

Charlie and I are lying together wrapped in a plush blanket he keeps in the back of his truck. I check my watch. It’s late—far past my curfew—but there’s still time. Sunrise isn’t for another few hours. I’m grateful my dad finally gave me the freedom to decide when the night is over.

“You need to get home?” Charlie asks.

“Soon… but not yet.” I wish my answer could be not ever. Charlie pulls me closer and we snuggle into each other.

“Have you thought any more about Berkeley?” I whisper.

He stares up at the stars. “I keep thinking about after the surgery, when I couldn’t swim, and I just… didn’t know who I was. At all. And neither did anyone else. I’ve been in school with these people for years, and they just see me as the guy in the pool. Then when I wasn’t in the pool anymore, it was like I was no one to them. And I just think that’s bullshit. I’m not worthless if I’m not a swimmer. I don’t have to live that life. Just because I liked doing something for a long time doesn’t mean I can’t change my mind.”

I nod. “I get that,” I say, and I truly do.

But I can’t help feeling there’s something more underneath what he just told me. Maybe it’s a fear of failure or pride he can’t get past. I don’t want him wasting a chance to expand his horizons on useless emotions like that.

“But I also know what it feels like to watch people living life from the sidelines,” I continue. “You don’t want that either. You might not want to be just the guy in the pool, but you’re not the guy who doesn’t try either. Maybe you won’t end up on the team, but don’t you want to see if you could? I would.”

Something profound and true hits me. I realize this is how I have to live my life from here on out. I think it applies equally well to Charlie.

“Do everything you can right now and then decide. Because now is all that matters,” I tell him.

Charlie kisses my shoulder. He looks like he’s deep in thought. “Maybe I’ll call the coach tomorrow,” he says. “And speaking of tomorrow, I hope you’re ready for the greatest sunrise on the planet.”

I gasp as the adrenaline kicks in. I look up at the sky. Blackness is giving way to a light purple. I check my watch again: 1:42.

There’s a brief moment of relief before I realize something is really wrong. The second hand on my watch isn’t moving.

“What time is it, Charlie?” I whisper, horrified.

“Four fifty.”

I feel the life drain out of me. “It’s not waterproof,” I say, almost to myself.

“What isn’t?” Charlie asks.

I jump up, frantically grabbing my clothes and cell phone. I click off the do not disturb icon and see I have fourteen missed calls from my dad. How could I have thought I didn’t need him watching over me anymore, even for a second?

“Oh my God!”

How can I undo what I did? I’m such an idiot. Dad never should have trusted me. Tears stream down my face as I start sprinting back up toward the road. Maybe I can still race the dark to my house. I’m young. I’m fast.

I hear Charlie’s footsteps crashing behind me. “Just stay until the sun—”

“I have to go!” I yell back at him over my shoulder. “Please, we have to leave now! PLEASE!”

“What’s wrong?”

But I’m sobbing too hard and time is too precious to answer.

“Katie! Tell me!”