Messy Love(45)

“Marissa?’’ Kam called me right when Sophie greeted the new client. “Your turn.’’

And just like that Wyatt took a backseat as a broad smile spread all over my face. For now, I had a respite, but Sophie was right.

I needed to do something and leaving the final words to that guy wouldn’t do.

***





WYATT


I threw the menus from the places I usually ordered in back in the kitchen drawer and rubbed at my face.

My hangover had long been gone since I took a disgusting smoothie this morning at the gym and sweated off the alcohol while coaching a few clients, but that was without the nagging feeling I had inside, festering and eating away at me. That, and the fact that my boss told me I was at the risk of getting my hours cut in half since I didn’t have enough clients and the gym was suffering from a new gym opening that offered all of that new stuff like hardcore yoga, Zumba, and other trendy shit. I couldn't have my hours cut if I wanted to keep on paying my bills just when I chose to update the apartment.

Everything was going to shit.

My cell beeped with a new text on the kitchen counter next to the empty Gatorade bottle. With a sigh, I snatched it, ready to ignore whoever it was until the name registered. Marissa.

Blinking, I unlocked my phone.



Are you at your place? - Marissa

Yes. Why? Where are you? - Wyatt

I’m at your door. - Marissa



Just when her text came through she knocked on my door. I slowly put my phone back on the kitchen counter next to the empty Gatorade bottle and then stared at the front door.

I was trapped.

She knew I was home and I knew she was on the other side of that damn door.

I didn’t like to be trapped, to be robbed of the possibility to lead the dance and do my own thing when I wanted. I was on her timetable and not mine which also meant I had no idea where it would go.

I was at her mercy, and while I undoubtedly deserved it, it didn’t sit well with me. Instantly, my palms sweated, and my heart sped up. A small voice, pathetic and coming from my past, begged me to get her to leave, to protect myself from more troubles, but the adult man in me pushed me to take those steps, reach the front door and open it.

And here she was.

“I need to say something, so you better keep your mouth shut,’’ she blurted before I had the time to take her in and open my mouth.

I nodded and leaned against the door, gritting my teeth to stop myself from saying something when her harsh tone caused me to want to even things out by lashing out. My defensive default setting had me in a twist where Marissa was concerned.

“Good,’’ she went on and hiked her big leather brown purse higher on her shoulder covered by nothing more than her InkSpired t-shirt. “You can’t open your mouth when you feel like it, apologize like you did last night and turn around before I could say something. You can’t make my life a living hell, polluting my damn brain and hope that I’ll be okay with an ‘I’m sorry’ and some new way of showing me how torn up you are. Life doesn’t work like that. I don’t work like that.’’

Her narrowed eyes pierced me, burying deeper and deeper to uncover that part of myself I dreaded, that part that used to make me hope for better as a kid. A part I pushed away and barely unlocked when around my adoptive family. A part I didn’t want to admit I was afraid of losing because of the woman standing in front of me, all sexy and rightfully so pissed at me.

“What do you want me to say then?’’ I asked gruffly, eyes now downcast because everything was better than to be subjected to her antagonism towards me. Anything was better than to be faced with a good person showing you how bad you were.

“Nothing, that’s my point.’’

“What?’’ I frowned and stared into her beautiful eyes, eyes that haunted me day and night, eyes that reminded me of my adoptive mother and the pain I caused Marissa. Those eyes were my personal hell and kept on drawing me closer.

“We’re nothing more to each other than a one-night stand gone wrong. All of this is fucked up, and I don’t want a part in it. I have my own life, and I can’t let you derail me. It started because you wanted me away from your family and especially from Lydia and I’ll stay away because I can’t live my life and worry about what will happen next with you.’’

“You went out of your way to tell me this.’’

“Not for you, but for myself.’’ She pointed at her left temple then. “You’re there, Wyatt. I don’t know how you did it, but you’re fucking there, and I need you out.’’ She tapped with the tips of her fingers against the side of her head before she dropped her hand to her side. “I accept your apology because I honestly believe my presence troubled you and I can understand it, but I will never accept the way you’ve treated me.’’

She took a step back, and her shoulders lost their apparent stiffness then, but her words hardened me, hitting me square in the chest to make me want to double over and hope that stupid pain would go. Instead, I took two steps out of my apartment and invaded her personal space.

She appeared so fragile in front of me, thin and yet strong. Not once she looked away. Not once she backed down. Not once she ever let me scare her away.

“I’m a fucked up man, and you should have never let me in your head to begin with.’’