Marek (Cold Fury Hockey #11)(56)

“Whoa,” she drawls out slowly. “Just…whoa. But you’ve got to give me more info than that.”

And she’s right. That’s a lot to take in. So I slow down and fill in some gaps. Answer a few questions. To Josie’s credit and the reason I know we’ll always be close friends, she goes overboard to not make me feel stupid, and in fact, validates what I’d done. She said she’d have done the same thing, although I highly doubt it.

Still, it was a really sweet gesture.

When I think I’ve satisfied her curiosity, I turn back to watch the warm-ups, which are winding down.

Josie, however, is not fully satisfied. She nudges me again. “What’s the deal with you and Marek then?”

“What do you mean?” I hedge, not even looking at her.

“Oh, for Pete’s sake, Gracen,” she growls at me. “Give me the details. I can tell something’s different. I mean, he called up Reed wanting to get us really good tickets so you could see him play up close and personal. So I know something’s happened.”

It’s not so hard to tear my gaze away from Marek now. Josie actually has asked me something that I don’t mind talking about with her.

I puff out a tiny breath of capitulation, turning in my seat to look her right in the face. Leaning in so no one can hear our conversation, I lower my voice and tell her, “Marek and I…well, we’re sort of together.”

“Together?”

“We had sex. Like four times the night before Owen showed up. And then we didn’t have sex before he left for the New York and New Jersey games, and it was very confusing.”

“Why didn’t you have sex then? I mean…sounds like the first four times were amazing, and I don’t know many men that will walk away from that.”

I snicker. It was really, really good. The best ever, actually. But I don’t say that, because that’s my personal secret to share just with myself. Instead, I tell her all of it. “I had a placental abruption the week before Lilly was due.”

“Oh, Gracen, that’s awful,” Josie breathes out. She’s a doctor. She knows the dangers I faced.

I nod in agreement. “Anyway, I had to have a hysterectomy, which was fine. As long as Lilly was okay, that’s all that mattered. But when I told Marek about it, it really bothered him and he just backed off. Actually, seems it sort of ran him off.”

“I’m sorry,” Josie says softly.

I give her a casual shrug. It had hurt my feelings a lot, but he’s more than made up for it. “It didn’t run him off for long. When he came back from the road trip, well, he came straight to my bed.”

“So it’s just sex?” she asks hesitantly.

I shrug again, although there’s nothing casual about this one. I truly just don’t know. “We’ve agreed to try out a monogamous sexual relationship while coparenting our daughter.”

Josie wrinkles her nose. “That sounds…um…sterile.”

My laugh is genuine, because despite how screwed up the situation is, I also have to find humor in it. “I’ve decided just to take it day by day and see what happens.”

Something in my voice causes Josie’s eyes to narrow. She shakes her head at me. “No, I don’t believe that. I can see it in your eyes. Hear it in the words you’re not saying.”

I cock an eyebrow at her. “And what’s that?”

“That you really have feelings involved and I’m not sure they’re reciprocated,” she says bluntly. “If that’s the case, you’re going to get hurt.”

There’s no helping the fact I have to glance back at Marek when she says that. When I give her my attention again, I admit, “I’ve never stopped loving him, and yes, it’s not reciprocated. But he has forgiven me, so all I can do is try to look at this as a fresh start.”

“Those are easy words to say,” Josie murmurs. “I know this is tough, but it seems like Marek is in a good place now. This could work out all for the best.”

“Maybe,” I say neutrally. I don’t want to get my hopes up.

Josie points to the clock ticking down on the giant square scoreboard hanging over center ice. “Want to go get a beer and something to eat before the game starts?”

I nod at her and we make our way out of our seats and to the steps that lead up to the concessions. Marek had scored us some amazing front-row tickets beside the Cold Fury bench, which wasn’t where his ordinary season tickets were. He apparently had traded with one of the older veterans with better seats so I could have a great view for my first Cold Fury game. He may not have given me a jersey, but he had done some work to make sure this was a great experience for me.

By the time we get our drinks and food and get back to our seats, the game is about to start. Marek is a second-line player so he’s not out on the ice, and I try to force myself not to look over at him on the bench. In all the years that Marek and I were together and he played hockey, I always admired how focused he was. He didn’t look at me, he didn’t smile at me, and he paid attention to what was going on right in front of him whether he was on the ice or not. Today has been no different, and while they were out warming up he never looked my way once. This did not surprise me, as I expect his focus now is a million times more honed than it ever was before he became a professional player.