Maame(75)

She’s good at incorporating people into her photos. Can I pull off that pale pink nail color?



* * *



I whittle my top eight down to three and send those to Kris, cc’ing in Penny. By three in the afternoon, I have no other responses to my “et al.” email and close my laptop.

Jo’s sent a group message to say she’s got a date and will be back late. I immediately wonder if it’s with Sam, and then decide she’d have said if it was. I shouldn’t care if it is, but I do.

It’s still warm, so I stay outside with a bottle of cider and respond to more app notifications. I hope there’s one from Alex.

Nate

Have you dated a white man before?



Maddie

Yes, I have



Nate

Bet he’s not like me



Maddie

That would be in your best interest



Nate

Sounds like you’re still mad at your ex. I’m out



Maddie

You were never in!



___

Zack

You look so innocent but I bet you’re not. I bet you only date good boys that’s why you’re still single.



Maddie

Then what’s your excuse?



Zack

Who said I was single?



Maddie

Bleugh.



Zack

Lol



___

David

Can you twerk



Maddie

Can you waltz?



Nothing from Alex. Fine, I’ll message first; twenty-first century, feminism and everything. I take a gulp of cider for courage before I remember that this brand is nonalcoholic.

I open our chat to realize the reason he hasn’t messaged back is because it was my turn to, so I ask him what his weekend looks like.

Alex

I’m over at my mum’s in Richmond on Sunday; it’s my sister’s baby shower so the family is slowly descending upon her poor house



Maddie

Oh that’s nice. Is she having a boy or girl? Nice use of a semicolon, by the way.



Alex

I put it in there for you.;)

See what I did there?

Yeah it should be good. I’ve guessed girl, but we’ll find out the sex on Sunday.

The fam have made a real game of it now. Bets were just for fun at first, winners get bragging rights, that kind of thing, but now there’s a pool going and I’m ?20 in so far!

Typical.

Are you and your family close?



Maddie

…



I take another gulp of nonalcoholic cider.

Maddie

Very. I moved out a couple months ago (quite late, I know!) but keep going back. I don’t usually beat my brother to it though. He’s three years older than me but he and I are really close too.



Alex

That’s good to hear. Your parents are still together? Isn’t it weird that that’s a rarity these days?



Maddie

Yes, they’re still together. Happily married, last time I checked! We’re just your average family, really. Talk on the phone, Sunday lunches at home, my brother brings his laundry over, walks in the park, etc. Boring, I know.



Alex

Sounds ideal actually. Normalcy used to be considered boring and now it’s incredibly underrated. My parents divorced years ago and now have their own partners. They’re cool but I’m closer to my mum. Family are everything aren’t they.



Maddie

…

They really are.



___

Horny-za

You local?



Maddie

I’m not a free-range chicken



Horny-za

I just want to f*ck your big as* with my big di*k.



Maddie

I’d rather you didn’t



___

Alex

Would you like to have coffee (umbrella term to also include tea and other beverages) with me, tomorrow if you’re free?



A date? Something outside this app? Something … real? I don’t know why I didn’t consider this being an outcome.

I shouldn’t be dating right now. But I like talking to Alex. I forget that I’m sad. I like who I’ve chosen to be with him, my mythical family dynamic and all.

Maddie

Yes, I would.





Chapter Twenty-nine


Alex is bisexual.

Now that he’s asked me on a date, it’s another thing I have to think about. The first is that he is another white man. Now I know I shouldn’t tar every white man with the same Ben-shaped brush, but what did Nia say? If I want to save myself any more pain (and it’s been a pretty busy time in the heartbreak department this year), I can’t date just any white man. Alex has read Imaginary People, which I know is a nonfiction book about Britain’s tendency to erase the contributions of non-white people throughout history and into the modern day. Does that mean he’s an anti-racist? It’s not exactly a book you read for laughs. I guess I won’t know without more information.

Circling back to the fact that he’s bisexual. What does it really mean? He finds men attractive too, so could both of us find the same man attractive? Does that matter? If he were straight, he’d still find other women attractive, so what’s the difference?