Loveless(40)
Hm
Okay
GEORGIA WARR, JASON FARLEY-SHAW
Georgia Warr
i just told pip that we’re potentially seeing each other Jason Farley-Shaw
Oh SHIT okay!
Wow
What did she say?
Georgia Warr
she just said ‘Hm okay’
Jason Farley-Shaw
Oh god she’s mad then Georgia Warr
i don’t think she’s angry
she’s probably just confused Jason Farley-Shaw
Fair enough I guess!!
It is kind of a sudden development Georgia Warr
she’ll get over it though right?
i mean she’ll be all right with it?
Jason Farley-Shaw
Yeah
Definitely
GEORIGA WARR, ROONEY BACH
Georgia Warr
hey fried egg where are you??
Rooney Bach
Out!!!!
Georgia Warr
you coming back tonight?
i have things to discuss Rooney Bach
Oooooo THINGS
What things I love things Georgia Warr
well
idk what to do next with jason
so i am summoning you to assist unless you wanna stay out, no pressure haha Rooney Bach
Nah people are just being boring and drunk and I’m not in the mood to get with anyone Fried egg is on her way Georgia Warr
be hasty, egg
‘There,’ said Rooney as I tapped send on my message.
Georgia Warr
Sooooo d’you wanna meet up again this weekend?
We were sitting next to each other against the headboard of my bed, Rooney still in full going-out clothes and me in some Christmas pyjamas, despite the fact that it was early November.
‘What do I do on the date?’ I asked, looking at the message, waiting for Jason to see it.
She sipped her post-night-out cup of tea. ‘Whatever you want.’
‘But do we have to kiss on the second date?’
‘You don’t have to do anything.’
I turned to Rooney, but we were sitting too close, so I just got an eyeful of dark hair curled into loose waves. ‘Would you kiss on the second date?’
Rooney snorted. ‘I don’t go on dates.’
‘But you’ve been on a date before.’
She stayed silent for a moment.
‘I guess so,’ she said finally. ‘But generally, I prefer just sex.’
‘Oh.’
‘Don’t get me wrong, being in a relationship would be nice, probably. And sometimes I meet people and I think, maybe …’ She halted mid-sentence, then rolled off my bed and walked over to her own. ‘It’s … well, I always fall for the wrong people. So what’s the point?’
‘Oh.’
She didn’t say anything more than that, and it felt rude to push it and ask for details. Instead, she started changing into her pyjamas, and I definitely saw her shoot a glance at her photo of her and Mermaid-hair Beth.
Maybe Beth was an ex-girlfriend. Or an old crush. I didn’t have any evidence that Rooney liked girls, but it wasn’t impossible.
‘There’s nothing wrong with just having sex,’ she said, once she’d got into bed.
‘I know,’ I said.
‘Relationships just aren’t for me, I think. They never end well.’
‘OK.’
She suddenly leapt up from the bed, muttering ‘Roderick,’ and running over to water him. Roderick was looking a little the worse for wear, to be honest – Rooney seemed to be forgetting to water him quite frequently. After she’d finished, she was asleep five minutes later, while I stayed up, alternating between staring at the blue-tinged ceiling and scrolling through my phone, stressing about whether I was supposed to kiss Jason on our second date.
What if I really didn’t like guys and that was why this whole thing felt so difficult to navigate?
As soon as the thought popped into my head, I had to investigate further. I opened Safari on my phone and typed in, ‘am I gay’.
A bunch of links popped up, mostly useless internet quizzes that I already knew would be unhelpful and inaccurate. But one thing caught my eye – the Kinsey Scale test.
I started reading about the Kinsey Scale. Wikipedia explained that it was a scale of sexuality which went from zero, ‘exclusively heterosexual’, to six, ‘exclusively homosexual’.
Curious, and frustrated with myself, I took the test, trying to just answer the questions instinctively and not overthink anything. When I finished, I clicked ‘submit answers’, and waited.
And instead of a number, the letter ‘X’ popped up.
You did not indicate any sexual preference. Try adjusting your answers.
I read and reread those lines.
I’d … done the test wrong.
I must have done the test wrong.
I went back to my questions and started to look for where I could change my answers, but couldn’t find any I’d answered inaccurately, so just decided to exit the browser.
It was probably just a faulty test.
‘You look nice!’ was one of the first things he said to me when we met outside the Gala cinema on Saturday afternoon.
‘Oh, er, thank you?’ I said, looking down at myself. I had selected some khaki overalls with a Fair Isle jumper underneath, though most of the outfit was hidden by my giant coat because Durham was already dipping below ten degrees and I did not deal well with the cold.