Love Songs & Other Lies(60)

Sienna shifts in her metal chair. “Maggie? His sister? She and I were friends long before we dated.”

Vee’s wide eyes burn into me. Her voice is casual, controlled. “Right, of course.” She smiles and rolls her eyes, as if she must have forgotten. She taps my shoulder. “Excuse me, I’m getting out.”

I don’t move. “Vee—”

She pokes me hard in the side but doesn’t look at me. “Move it, Fuller.” I can tell from the way her voice quivers and her cheeks have pinked-up that she’s upset. “Please, Cam?”

I move out of the booth, letting Vee slip past me, watching as she makes her way toward the restrooms. Logan is staring at me like he’s contemplating murder, then he abruptly gets up and leaves, with Anders in tow.

Sienna looks around at our now-empty table and her lips twist into a questioning pout. “This was bad.” She’s looking at me for confirmation and I don’t even have the energy to lie. For once.

“It was bad,” I mumble.

“Sorry.” Sienna rests her hand on my shoulder, then pulls it back like I’m electrified.

“It’s not your fault.”

Sienna dips her head down to meet my eyes, where they’re fixed on the wall. “It’s not yours either, Cameron.” She’s not talking about Vee, or tonight, but she’s still wrong.

*

I don’t see Vee again until she’s silently getting into my car. Every time I try to say something to her she just puts her hand up to stop me, but for some reason she still comes home with me. When she crawls into my bed, I’m not even sure why. Her body vibrates against me, and I can tell she’s crying as I hold her, but I still can’t say any of the things I know she wants to hear. When her gentle shaking stops, I think she’s finally fallen asleep. Then she lets out a long breath and rolls onto her back, her eyes on my ceiling. “You told me you lived in Wisconsin.”

I nod against her shoulder. It’s a lie I told so long ago it’s started to feel like the truth.

“Who’s Sienna, Cam? She’s not your cousin.” She says it like it’s disgusting, like it’s the worst word she’s ever had to say. “She drove here from Ann Arbor. And it’s not that on-the-way.”

“We”—God, I don’t even know what to call it—“dated.”

“Why did you lie?”

I can’t answer, because I don’t even know.

She’s shaking her head back and forth, and in this long silence that hangs between us, I start to hope that maybe this is over. “Where are your parents?” She says it slowly, and it sounds like a threat, not a question.

“Vee—” Say the words, Cam. “I just—I can’t.” I try to hold her hand, and she pulls away. “Please don’t ask.” Say the words, Cam. But even though my heart is breaking with her, I’ve never actually said those words out loud before. To anyone. She won’t look at me, won’t take her eyes off of my ceiling. “I love you. This doesn’t change anything, and I just—can’t.”

“Right.” She roughly rolls away from me again.

“Vee—”

Her whisper sounds loud in the silence. “I didn’t even know you had a sister, Cam. I was ready to let you lead me to Northwestern, and I don’t know you at all.”

It’s the last thing she says to me before she finally does fall asleep, and when I wake up at 6 A.M. she’s already gone.





CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

NOW





VIRGINIA


We’re in New Jersey, and the guys are finishing up their set. The venues have gotten bigger, and I like watching from offstage, where I can see the show, but not the crowds. Even though I’m not the one up there playing, seeing the mass of fans gives me the chills. Thanks to multiple rehearsals, each live performance is timed to a tee. So when Logan walks offstage and pulls a stool up to the microphone, I know something is off. Cam, who usually plays lead on the band’s few acoustic songs, is already perched on an identical wooden stool at center stage. They’re playing a new song? One they haven’t rehearsed? I’ve skipped out on some practices to respond to the constant online comments and backlash from the recent video drama, but how could they have learned an entirely new song? And they didn’t even mention it? When they learned “Purple Shirt,” it was all they could talk about.

Logan pulls the stool next to Cam’s, positions the second mic in front of it, and then walks to the back of the stage next to Reese, who also seems to be sitting this song out. What the hell are they doing? I wave my hands frantically at Logan. He winks at me, with a giant, goofy grin that does absolutely nothing to ease my nerves.

“We’re going to try something a little different tonight,” Cam says, in his sultry, raspy stage voice, running a hand through his hair. “If you don’t mind.” He looks out into the crowd of squealing and cheering fans, a sea of purple Future X shirts filling much of the auditorium. “This song is sort of special, so I hope you like it.” He strums a few notes and my heart sinks. No, it deep sea dives.

Oh, God, no.

“It’s a love song.” A few more notes. “The first love song I ever wrote, actually.” The crowd is going crazy, and he’s glancing toward me, without actually looking at me. “For the first girl I ever loved.”