Limitless Love (Lotus House #4)(64)
“Oh, okay. I get it.” The position made sense. It would definitely hurt if someone used their thumbs to poke into an opponent’s eyes.
“You try.”
I repeated his move and felt rather proud of myself for getting it right the first time.
“Awesome. You can also go for the eyes with a spade-like shape, meshing of your fingers, or even knuckles first. I’d recommend the thumbs though because using them seems to be easier for women in the heat of the moment. And remember, you’re not trying to bruise them. You’re trying to blind them. Take away their sight so they can’t see you and they let you go. Ears up next. I’m going to come at you, and you’re going to grab both of my ears. Just not too hard!” He grinned. “This is pretend.”
I chuckled, and as he placed a hand on my shoulder and got close, I grabbed both his ears.
“Good. You can use this position to grip with all your might and bring me down and into your knee. Or, you can just twist the ears and my head will automatically jerk back to protect myself. This will give you precious moments to hopefully escape. Still, I’d go for the knee to the face if at all possible, because it will hurt more and give you more time. Let’s practice.”
For several rounds, we practiced the move until he thought I had it just right. Sweat prickled at my hairline and my shoulders were tense. My back ached a bit but not bad enough to call a halt. I enjoyed the overuse. The skin where my stitches had healed had been feeling stretched tight and itchy. The doctor mentioned it would as it healed. However, I wasn’t ready to call it quits due to a little discomfort. Clay wanted me to learn this training, and I needed to for my own safety. Protecting myself didn’t come naturally. I was a giver by nature, but I hoped the tools Nick and Clay bestowed would take hold and I’d be better for it—more prepared in the event Kyle came at me again.
Nick went over to a table, grabbed a sports bottle, and sucked back some water. I did the same with my own that I’d set in the corner near my stuff.
“You’re a natural at this, angel.”
Nick’s compliment and a sense of accomplishment made my heart feel full.
“Remember, doing this is going to ensure that if you’re ever stuck in a position with that asshole again, you can defend yourself and get away. Yeah?”
“Yeah, I know. It’s hard though.” I looked down and focused on my neatly pedicured pink toes and gathered my thoughts. “I hear about cases all the time where a man beats his wife and vice versa, and their relationship is not only volatile but destructive. Then other cases with child abuse, as well as women being sexually assaulted or attacked. I’ve always been one of the ones who thought it could never happen to me.”
“But it can happen to anyone.” His voice was soft and gentle.
“Intellectually that makes sense, only, Nick, he could have killed me. Had my client not come down to the exact same level on the garage, he would have slit my throat and left me for dead. That stuff doesn’t happen. Not to me!” The tears I’d been holding back flowed to the surface, and I shook my hands and shoulders, trying to push the emotional blast out of my mind.
Nick was beside me in a couple of seconds. He curled a hand around my nape and got close to my face. “You did nothing wrong. You hear me? Nothing.”
“But what if I egged him on in some way? Asked for it by not being a good wife and mother?” Some of my biggest fears spewed out of my mouth like a vile gas that had built up and couldn’t be contained. The last month I’d been working hard with my therapist, and God knows between Mila and Clay I’d conquered some demons, but that little voice inside—the one that told me how insignificant and worthless I was—that voice was still there. I hadn’t been able to vanquish it, and I worried I never would.
“Bullshit!” Nick’s words were as abrasive as sandpaper over tender skin. “I’ve known you for years now. Years!” He punctuated his words by dipping his face closer. I could smell the musk of sweaty man, soap, and a hint of cologne. “No woman asks for what he did to you. He’s twisted, Moe. Seriously messed up in the head. You do not take that on. It’s not your cross to bear. What you do is focus on how you can protect yourself in the future. What do you say?”
I sniffled, closed my eyes, and wiped at the lone tear I wasn’t able to push back. When I opened them again, my resolve was in place.
Fuck him.
Screw him and the horse he rode in on.
I had been a good wife. The best wife! Doting, loving, and considerate. Always.
Scowling, I narrowed my gaze until Nick was nothing but a blur. All I saw was red.
“You’re right. And I’m ready. Let’s continue. Show me how to be a badass!”
Nick squeezed my neck before pulling back. “Then it’s time to get a little dirty.”
I cocked an eyebrow, and he chuckled.
“Not that kind of dirty. Mama mia! I’m going to show you how to attack his nose, mouth, and throat.”
“Goody. Let’s do this.”
“Goody.” He rolled his eyes and chuckled. “Get settled in the stance I showed you. These are still the soft targets but definitely require closer range. You see this spot on my neck?”
He pointed to the divot at the top of his chest, in between the clavicles and below the Adam’s apple. “This indentation is often referred to as the tracheal well. There’s only a thin layer of skin protecting this vital organ. If your attacker comes at you with both arms out, or even one arm, move in toward him and shove your thumbs right into that indent the same way you do the eye gouge. Now come at me.”