Leaving Amarillo(32)

Gavin presses the button for the elevator and I catch myself watching his hand, his fingers long and masculine and graceful. They gripped me so hard when we kissed that I should’ve checked for bruises on the back of my thighs.

Dear God in Heaven, give me strength.

I want him to bruise me in a passionate lovemaking, fingers-denting-flesh-hard-enough-to-hurt-while-I-scream-his-name sort of way.

There’s a ding and we wait for a few guys in reggae getup to exit the elevator before we step inside. Alone. Our arms brush and this is so the wrong time to be fantasizing about Gavin holding me hard enough to hurt.

His shoulders are rigid and I’m wondering if I am somehow conveying my thoughts via mental telepathy. He seems to know exactly what’s going on in my head and it seems to be making him angry and uncomfortable. I hit the three for him and the five for me, keeping my eyes fiercely trained on the glowing round buttons.

The third floor comes and the doors open. I start to tell him I’ll see him in a few minutes, but he doesn’t move. The doors close and we continue our ascent. I raise my eyebrows at him and he cuts his eyes to mine.

“What are you doing?” I whisper.

“Isn’t this what you want?”

Yes.

“Um, what?”

His eyes meet mine and he’s sneering at me. “Me to f*ck you real quick in your room so you can check that off your list?”

My body recoils at the maliciousness in his tone. “Excuse me?”

Gavin slams his hand on the stop button, jerking the car to a halt, and braces his arms beside my head.

“You wore my shirt on your dinner date with that boy-band kid, then you said those . . . things. Now you’re making me agree to one night alone with you and wearing this goddamn dress. I may not have gone to college, but I’m not f*cking brain dead, either.”

The rush of conflicting feelings floods my brain. I love him. I hate him. I want to slap his face and kiss him until I’m drunk and dizzy.

What in the hell is wrong with me?

My chest heaves between us as I work to breathe normally. “For one, I didn’t know that was your shirt. Secondly, I was honest yesterday. Finally. For once, I was completely honest and I’m not taking back a single thing I said or did. Thirdly, there is nothing wrong with my dress,” I bite out through clenched teeth. “And for the record, I didn’t make you agree to anything. You want to say no? Then say no, Gavin.”

I cross my arms in defiance, meeting his icy glare with one of my own and daring him to back out on our one night even though it will break me apart when he does. I’ve been holding on to that one night like a lifeline.

The heat in his glare burns into my icy one, but he doesn’t say it. Not yet.

“Gavin? The words, I need the words. Either you’re in or you’re out.”

An intruding buzzer sounds, making me flinch, and he steps out of my space. He hits the emergency stop again and we ride in silence to my floor.

My heart hammers in my ears as I walk on unsteady legs to my room with him close behind. Retrieving my key card from my bra makes me self-conscious and my fingers tremble. I drop the slender piece of plastic twice and mutter a curse under my breath when I pick it up the second time.

Gavin’s breath is hot against my neck as he reaches around and takes the card from my inept fingers.

“Let me,” he says low in my ear, sending a shiver across my shoulders and down my arms.

I slide my tongue across my lips in an attempt to moisten them so that I can speak. He opens my door easily and I step inside on the wobbly legs of a newborn foal.

“Gavin, I need the words. I—” I’m ashamed at how my voice breaks.

I have no idea what else was about to come out of my mouth. But it doesn’t matter because his lips press against my neck and I am rendered immediately speechless. Tilting my head to allow him better access, my intense appreciation for what he’s doing to me slips out of my mouth in a moan.

“I’m in, Bluebird,” he whispers in my ear. “But I think you already knew that, didn’t you?”

“Y-you know what you’re saying? Do you understand what I want?”

He presses against my backside and I feel something I have only ever imagined in my wildest fantasies, the thick ridge of Gavin’s arousal. A guttural sound escapes and I should be embarrassed but I can’t recall what that would feel like. All I can feel is his mouth on my neck, his hands on my hips, and the promises of what’s to come—literally—against my backside.

“I think I have a pretty good idea. And I think we both know what it could cost us. You okay with that? Risking it all for one night?”

All I can do with his body this close is nod. Yes.

“Hmm. I am not happy about anyone else seeing you in this dress. Not happy at all.”

His blatant desire gives me courage. “And what do you plan to do about it?”

His tongue flicks against my earlobe and I shudder. “Let’s just say if you get what you want on Friday, you probably won’t be able to walk anywhere on Saturday.”

My knees go weak and his arm wraps my waist to support me as if he anticipated the effect he’d have on me. “Do we have to go to this meeting?”

A low, dark laugh tickles my ear and reverberates through my body. “I think so.” He places one last kiss against my neck and pulls back.