Keeping Me (Spy Chronicles Book 2)(39)

“That you're here because of my dad. That you have to hide because he literally wants to kill you.”

“You are not your dad,” I say. “So never apologize for him.”

“I have to,” he says.

I want to protest or argue, but I don't. Maybe he needs to apologize to feel better. He already knows that I don't blame him, or even remotely think it's his fault. He's nothing like his dad, even if he thinks he could be. But I know Sebastian. He's too good to be anything like that monster.

“Where is my dad?” I ask.

Because, if he were here, he would've busted into my room long before now.

“He took Gage and Brett to the airport. He won't be back until later in the morning,” Bass says.

“He trusted you to babysit me alone?” I ask, in mock surprise.

“Surprised me, too.”

“I guess it doesn't surprise me,” I say. “My dad says you're the only person who could make me stop screaming when I was a baby. Apparently they'd put us in a crib together and I'd stop crying.”

“Huh. That's... kind of crazy,” Sebastian says. “I feel like you do that for me now.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean... when I'm not around you, everything is loud. Sometimes, I feel like I'm going to drown in my own thoughts and feelings. But then when I'm with you, everything is quiet. It's like I can actually breathe,” he says. “And the more I'm around you, the harder it is to be without you.”

His words make me lose my own breath.

“My life was so much simpler before you showed up at Spy School,” he says. “My whole life was about training to become the best. And then you walked in and changed absolutely everything.”

“I'm sorry that I ruined it for you,” I say.

“You didn't ruin it. I mean, maybe a little.”

I lower my head.

It's always the same with Sebastian. I give him a little piece of my heart and he shatters it. Every single time.

“My dad is after you,” Sebastian says. “It is my duty to look after you.”

“Don't worry about it,” I say. “I have my dad. And in case you didn't notice, he's a powerful man. I think he can handle this without you.”

“I'm not going anywhere,” Sebastian says, looking at me. “I know I've said something to hurt your feelings, but I didn't mean to.”

“It's okay,” I say, looking at my fingers. Looking anywhere besides Sebastian.

“No, it's not,” he says, grabbing my hand with his.

Shocked, I look up.

“Serenity, you are a good person. Maybe the best person I've ever met. And you're genuine and... life has been cruel to you, but you’re still the sweetest person. I don't want to be the one to break you,” he says.

“I'm not that fragile,” I say. “You can't break me.”

“No. I guess you aren't as fragile as I once thought you were,” he says. “You're the girl who spent her life locked away, fighting for her life. The girl who jumped from an airplane like she had been doing it her whole life. And the girl who can almost take me in a fight.”

“That last part is a lie,” I say.

“Okay, fine. You have years before you're good enough for that,” Sebastian says. “But I bet you could give some other people at Spy School a run for their money.”

“Oh, yeah?” I ask.

“Yes,” he says.

I smile. Because Sebastian makes me feel like I can handle anything the world throws my way.

“I don't want you to ever feel inadequate,” he says.

“I don't, when I'm with you.”

“Good.”

I look up at him, making eye contact.

I love his eyes. I could look at them all day, trying to memorize the patterns of dark and light blue. There are even flecks of grey and purple. They're so unique. Like him.

“When I'm not around you, I forget how beautiful you are,” Sebastian says. “I convince myself that I can focus on training and on our friendship, but then I see you and I just want to kiss you.”

“You want to kiss me?” I ask.

Because certainly I heard him wrong.

Sebastian Soto can do so much better than me. I know that. He has to know it, too.

“I want to kiss you so badly that I can hardly stand it,” he says.

“Then why don't you?”

“Because you deserve so much better than me,” he says.

“You mean you deserve better than me,” I say, because he’s got that backwards.

He shakes his head. “Do you not get it?”

“Get what?”

“The whole reason that you’re here... the whole reason you’re in danger... it’s because of my father.”

“Your father. Not you,” I say. “You are not him. And you’re definitely nothing like him.”

“But it is partly my fault,” he says. “My dad wants revenge because your dad helped him hide my mother and me.”

“When you were four years old,” I say. “You had no choice in it. It was your mom and my dad’s decision to hide you two. And it’s not like your father exactly gave them another choice. He would’ve killed your mom. And probably you.”