Inevitable and Only(76)

“Sure!” I wasn’t sure what to say after that. “So, um, I’ll see you Friday! And, you know, probably in school this week, since it’s such a tiny school and all. Oh, and tomorrow night, for striking the set, of course.” I willed my tongue to stick to the roof of my mouth before any more words could escape my throat. Zephyr didn’t need to hear a list of every single time we might cross paths before our date on Friday night.

Our date. Our first real date.

“See you tomorrow,” he said.

“Yes! Right. See ya.”

I stared at my phone after he’d hung up, until the screen went dark. Then someone pushed open the door to the kitchen behind me. It was Elizabeth.

“There you are!” she said. “Cadie, this place is rad. Is that the right hippie lingo?” Then she saw my face. “What happened?”

I took a deep breath. I had to tell someone. “I kissed Zephyr tonight. At the party. And he broke up with his girlfriend, and we’re going on a real date.”

“Whoa,” said Elizabeth. “You. Kissed. Zephyr? Like, Zephyr from the play?”

“And I had a beer, well a beer and a half, and it was awful, I don’t know why people like it.”

Elizabeth grinned, but she didn’t interrupt.

So I barreled on. “And—and also it’s just like I remembered here. I’m so glad we’re all here, I mean except Mom and Dad, but that’s all right because they’re off fixing things which is good, and—it’s just, a lot of stuff is happening—” I couldn’t keep going, because tears were clogging my voice.

Elizabeth reached out as if to take my hand, and before I could overthink it, I threw my arms around her. We’d never hugged before. She smelled like shampoo and vanilla and the hug was so warm and comforting I thought I might melt.

She pulled back a little to look at me, and when she smiled, her whole face shone.

“I’m so glad we came here—thank you for bringing me. That woman, Rotem, she knew my mom really well, and she said I’m welcome to come down here anytime I want, just to hang out.”

I wiped my eyes. “Oh, good. That’s exactly what I was hoping would—” I broke off, as something brushed against my leg. I looked down.

A midnight-black cat gazed up at me and rubbed against my legs again, meowing.

“Sorry, he wants to be fed,” said a girl I didn’t recognize, bustling into the kitchen and taking a bag out of a cupboard. “Here, Chuz.” She rattled some kibble into a dish.

“Chuz?” I echoed.

“Yeah,” said the girl, “it’s short for Martin Chuzzlewit. I don’t know who named the cats around here, but they’re all named after Dickens characters. This guy’s really old. He’s been here forever.” She bent and stroked his head. “See the gray whiskers?”

Martin Chuzzlewit. Who else would name a cat Martin Chuzzlewit, except—

I glanced at Elizabeth. She raised her eyebrows, but I wasn’t sure if she was thinking what I was thinking.

“Like, how old?” I said.

“Oh, at least ten or twelve. Maybe older.” She rubbed his head again. “You’re a good old boy, Chuz.”

Ten or twelve? Why didn’t I remember this cat? I knelt and held out my hand, and the cat stopped eating for a moment to sniff my fingers. Then he flopped over suddenly and stuck his paws in the air, exposing the soft white fur on his belly.

The girl laughed. “He wants tummy rubs. Chuz is a push-over.” She put the kibble away and left the room.

I scratched Martin Chuzzlewit’s tummy and he purred, and I wiped my eyes with my other hand.

“Elizabeth,” I said, “I think the universe or God or somebody has forgiven me for my sins.”

“For what?” she said, sitting on the floor next to me and scratching Chuz behind the ears. He closed his eyes and turned his purr up to an audible rumble.

“Never mind,” I said. Maybe Elizabeth had forgotten about my horrible first driving lesson. It was before she moved in with us—before we even knew about her.

Just three months ago.

“Do you think—” she started, then hesitated, staring at Chuz.

“That Dad named this cat?”

“That’s exactly what I was thinking.”

“Well, I don’t remember for sure, but—”

“But Martin Chuzzlewit?” she finished for me. She looked like Dad when she grinned.

“I know, right?”

She tucked her hair behind her ears, glanced down at Chuz, and stopped smiling. “Cadie—I know I’ve sort of ruined everything for you. I know you’re mad at Ross, and it feels like it’s my fault.”

I let that thought sink in for a moment. Elizabeth might be the only person who would truly get the way I was feeling … “Dad gave me a note today, before they left. He said he wants to fix things, between me and him. But I don’t even know where to start. I feel like I don’t know who he really is, but also I know that’s not fair. I screwed up tonight too, and maybe—maybe I’m not who he thinks I am, either.”

“Or maybe you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself,” Elizabeth said. “Or on him.”

Good people make mistakes.

“He loves you so much, Cadie. If I could go back …” She sighed. “If you were being completely honest with him, what would you tell him?”