In a Book Club Far Away(27)
The nurse noted something on her clipboard. “IV—check. Consent forms are done, so we’re good to go there. In a little bit, your anesthesia provider will come by and chat with you, then we’ll wheel you into the operating room. Ms. Walden, I can take you to the OR waiting room, where you can wait until Mrs. Wilson-Chang is out of surgery and in the recovery room.”
Adelaide nodded, knotting her hands together.
“Can we get a couple of seconds alone?” Sophie addressed the nurse. Her friend needed a moment.
“Of course.”
Once the door shut, Sophie perched on the bed and took Adelaide’s hands in hers. They were slim, smooth, and cold, a contrast to hers, which were, frankly, rough. Sophie had nurses’ hands, with layers of skin peeled off from the constant use of sanitizing foam and antibacterial soap, heavy from the persistent action of moving patients, pressing buttons, carrying, pushing, and pulling. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”
“That it’s rare for us to worry about this, about our own contingencies. I keep asking myself if it’s necessary for me to go under the knife. And then I reminded myself that two weeks ago I was in so much pain that I had to ask a neighbor I barely knew to watch Genevieve so I could drive myself to urgent care.”
Sophie nodded, encouraging her to go on.
“How many times did we fill out that power of attorney for Matt and Jasper? We’re always prepared for something to happen to them, for us to be left with the aftermath.”
“We’re definitely prepared.”
“Maybe too prepared?” Adelaide said. “Because my mind immediately goes to the worst-case scenario.”
“It’s the way we’ve had to live. It’s part of our survival. We can’t be taken by surprise. We don’t have that luxury.”
“Right? My mama called me morbid because I thought about the probability of loss. All the time.” Adelaide rolled her eyes and mimicked her mother’s voice. “Adelaide, dear, you’re just invitin’ trouble to your doorstep by asking it to dance.”
Sophie laughed, because she’d accused herself of the same thing. “We are a little morbid, but I think it’s how we protect ourselves. We’ve known people who’ve been killed overseas, people who have died. We’ve comforted people who’ve sustained loss. We have lost people ourselves.”
“Exactly, and right now, I wonder what if something happens to me—will Genevieve be okay? And I see what you’re going to say next, Soph, and I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to hear that nothing is going to happen to me, because things do happen. Things happen to service members, things happen to spouses. You’re a nurse, and you know that things happen during surgery. God, the other day, I was driving by the oral surgery clinic and there was an ambulance wheeling someone out, probably from wisdom teeth removal. And yes, I have friends, but that mommy group I belong to? They are casual relationships. That’s not all their fault, though; it’s mine, because I am done opening myself to everyone and everything. It’s exhausting to start and stop friendships. And then my family—I love them, but they’re no longer young. They are, for a lack of a better word, unreliable.”
Sophie didn’t speak, not until she knew for sure that Adelaide was done. Because sometimes, her friend simply needed to vent. She had to express the worst-case scenario—its acknowledgment could strip away its power—before she composed herself once more. “Ad, I can’t tell what’s going to happen in surgery, or in recovery. No one can. But here’s the thing I promise: I will do everything in my power to be here for you and for Genevieve. In all the ways. Even if it’s just to grab you some ice chips or to feed you Jell-O or to hold up your throw-up bucket. And more, for the worst case. In the worst-case scenario, I will be here for Matt, for Genevieve, and I will make sure that Regina doesn’t hog all of your baskets and necklaces because at least half have to go to me.”
Adelaide cackled, face settling into a smile.
A knock sounded on the door, and the anesthesiologist walked into the room. Dr. Wong was spectacled and serious but had kind eyes. “Are you ready for me, Mrs. Wilson-Chang?”
“Yes, almost there.” Adelaide squeezed Sophie’s hand. “Please don’t stay mad that Reggie’s here.”
Sophie hardened her poker face, gritted her teeth together in a Crest-white smile. “I admit, I wish you would have told me.”
“One of you wouldn’t have come if I had.”
Would Sophie have refused the SOS if she’d known? Would she have missed this because of a decade-long unresolved situation between herself and Regina?
Sophie averted her eyes at her doubt. “Maybe. Maybe not.”
“Well, thank you for staying, for not even thinking of leaving.” She squeezed her hand. “I only have one last thing to ask. A huge favor. Massive.”
“Anything, obviously.”
“And I’m going to need help convincing Regina of the same thing.”
“Okayyy.”
“I think we should do book club again.”
“Wh—I don’t get it.”
“I haven’t been able to get a book club together here. And I figured, since you both have a week with me, that we could read a couple of books together.”
“Noooo…” Sophie dropped her chin. She knew where this was going. “Adelaide, you and your plans. What is going on in that head of yours? This is ridiculous—book club won’t fix Regina and me.”